I want to be a writer; do you like this short-short story?

Question

The New Church
I don’t know how the owl got into my home. All my windows are screened and many are also latticed; I have looked for holes and not found a one. No even a no-see-um could get through one of my windows.
Perhaps it came under the door, as the small frogs do, but I have never seen an owl on the ground for very long. I should explain that this owl is not the ordinary size and color of an owl. The owl I am chasing is bright green and although it appears to be fully grown it is only the size of my fist.
When I awoke this morning it was perched on the net post of my bed. Except for stopping to have some coffee I have been chasing it since then. The green owl remains just out of my reach. When it alights over my kitchen sink or on a low frond of thatch in my ceiling I can almost stretch it touch it. Almost I can throw a dish towel over its neon body, but it moves away at the last second and I miss. This is how I am occupied when I am distracted by the sight of my friend riding his bicycle in my yard. Between the gateposts (I have not had a gate since it became broken years ago) he steers onto my lawn. He is barefoot, straddling his rusty cruiser.
Venecio shouts as I come out, “Have you heard the news? There is a new church the other side of Bar Sussy. It is called The Church of Enlightenment!”
My friends know my interest in different religious truths. I have explored any sect I can find to learn about, any teaching that is available. I search for information, whether in books, by interviewing spiritual teachers, or from associating with ordinary followers.
One such ordinary follower was here last summer. His name was Walter and I found him trying to camp out on the beach. That, of course, is not legal and in his case the tide would have also made it impossible. I did not like thinking about his beautiful guitar floating out to sea so I invited him to be a guest in my home.
Walter combed his long hair in my bathroom and taught me a practice. I learned how to become one with my surroundings. I have found little use for this skill except when bike riding during the rainy season. Then, mud puddles, bicycle, and I become one. It makes traveling much easier and less hazerdous.
Venecio and I ride to where the new Church of Enlightenment has opened. The head priest is a man. He leads us right through the building and out the back door. The cool grassy area is lined with wire pens. Coconut husks are used for litter and coconut meat for fodder. I am very surprised to see what is in the pens. They all contain pigs! Clean, healthy looking pigs, but pigs nonetheless!
The priest’s voice is very friendly as he explains the foundation of the church’s teachings to Venecio and me. “We base our beliefs on one clear principle,” he says, “The key to becoming enlightened is very simple, there is one thing you must do. To become enlightened, you must to kiss the pig!”
I am shocked. “I cannot kiss a pig!”
“That is alright,” he assured me, “You may begin by talking to the pig. Start a conversation!”
I had heard enough. The animals were repulsive, gray as gun metal flabby lumps with tufts of bristled hair between their ears. They made unpleasant noises. I left.
At home, I spotted the tiny green owl in the large silk tree that grew in my yard. How he got out, I don’t know, but I realized I needed to inspect the thatch. My hammock is underneath that tree and its branches brush the eaves of my roof. The silk tree’s leaves matched the tiny owl’s bright green foliage.
I sat in the hammock to gaze at the elusive bird, and noticed a column of neon green light snaking upward from the roots of the silk tree. The cord of light was pulsing, alive, buzzing with electrical energy. It was pleasant to observe and it tapered off in the branches where the owl was perched.
A wet nose nudged me; it was a large and beautiful golden brown dog. Petting its back I discovered battery compartments on either side of its spine. They contained several double A alkaline batteries. I tried giving the dog commands and found he would obey me instantly.
We played under the tree, while the light snaked into the branches and the owl perched just out of reach.
The next day there was nothing unusual about the silk tree in my yard. I do have a new, beautiful and extremely well behaved dog living with me now==there is no evidence of battery compartments along its spine. The green owl flew away, on the very day that Venicio helped me erect a new wire pen because of my decision to join the church.

Answer 1

Wow. Check it carefully for errors, there were a couple in the first few sentences HOWEVER it is really good. Really good and captures my attention. I have had many small things published over the years but have wanted to write a book for years however not a novel but non fiction. I am starting the process of putting together a collection of stories of womens experiences who have survived eating disorders :-). I love to write, love it. Well done to you, keep going at it. Have you read stuff about getting books published etc, it isn't easy but follow your dream and give it your best shot.

Answer 2

1. What genre do you write? Fantasy with a hint of romance at times and I have written a horror novel. At times I write realism. 2. What is your latest short story about? Short? Well it was about this man on a date with a woman. They are mugged and she is shot. When the ambulance comes she is taken and he sees a man, an angel. When he turns, his lover is gone. 3. Have you ever published in a magazine r something like that? If so where? I finished two books, one is in the works to be published and will be out November 4th as Gray Wings. 4. How many pages do most of your stories end up being? Hmm..well one was 300 and something and the other was 174

Answer 3

Nice imagery and character development. A few typos, easily corrected. Intriguing beginning. What happens next?

Write on, babe!

Answer 4

Great start! Take that idea and run with it!