Do you think it is wrong to have a child circumcised simply because it is the social norm?

Question

I just want to say that I am having a hard time making a decision and I was hoping that everyone's answers might help me tip one way or the other. I am not saying that there aren't benefits... I am not saying that it is a useless procedure, or even a necessary one. I am just not sure either way. I am sorry if I offended anyone.

Answer 1

Do you think its wrong to ignore all of the studies that show that that outside of condom use, the next best thing that can be done to prevent the spread of the AIDS virus is to circumcise male children, and then to post questions like this one on Y/A indicating there is no good reason to circumcise? Look there, a question and an answer for you, all rolled into one. Might want to investigate some facts before you believe the hyperbole.

Answer 2

I don't think it's necessarily wrong. Afterall, many girls get their ears pierced as infants because that is a social custom we have.

As far as circumcision goes, as someone who was, until recently uncircumcised but underwent a circumcision as an adult, you should very, very carefully analyze the pros and cons of the procedure.

My best advice is that, if there is no apparent health-related reason to get it done, don't do it. It's a surgery, after all, and carries associated risks (however minor, it sucks to be in that 1% who do develop complications). More and more kids are intact these days, and chances are by the time I have kids it'll be a 50/50 split (whatever anyone tells you, it's not at that level yet, the national rate is still around 65-70%).

That said, as a kid, I definitely new I was different from my peers. It made me feel a bit awkward in the lockerroom, pool and showers. And the procedure as an adult is painful, prone to complications (largely due to the fact that adults get erections, which pull on stitches and cause all sorts of wonderful pain) and costly. However, as I said, it's becoming more normal for guys to be uncut (at least your son won't be alone, as I was in the lockerroom), and very few uncircumcised men actually *have* to get cut later in life; many of the ones that do are also usually due to conditions which are treatable with new creams and such which weren't available several years ago.

Answer 3

To be like everyone else is nice I suppose, and I would not ever try to impose my beliefs on anyone, because they are just that.....my beliefs; however, your question does present an interesting opportunity to speak about the difference between education and "what other people think" or "what other people feel is acceptable".
My parents were originally from Spain, and although I was born and raised in NYC, my parents decided to go with tradition and not have me circumcised. In Spain, as in most European countries, circumcision is not a common practice among the "normal society". So to a certain extent, a circumcised man might be looked at as being a little "different" in these places. While I was growing up I had a bad experience in school. The first time I used the school gym showers it was immediately made clear by the other boys that I was a little different in the "nether region" than they were. I was taunted and teased about it, and it was a big shock for me, because I was never told by my parents there was such a thing as circumcision and that I was slightly different.
As a child who was not prepared for the teasing, I was very affected and it caused a big comlpex for me that lasted me years. Now.....I don't blame the other boys or society for what occurred, because they were only doing what was natural to them when they saw something they had either never seen before or simply misunderstood. I don't blame my parents for having kept me natural, but I do feel I was not educated about the differences between being circumcised and uncircumcised. I can honestly say that if I had been informed about the differences and informed that it did not mean I was abnormal, strange or diseased, I would have been better prepared for the jokes and taunts.
I did consider getting circumcised when I was in my late teens, but again, it wasn't because I needed it done for medical reasons, but because I wanted to be accepted as "The Norm".....to be like everyone else in order to be accepted. I am thankful that I finally realized that I don't HAVE to be like everyone else, and that I am a normal man with a very functional and interesting penis. I have never, ever had any concerns with tight foreskin or infections, and lesser still issues with hygiene. My parents took it upon themselves to teach me how to care for myself and it has served me well.
Once again, I would not try to force my personal beliefs on anyone, because I feel we al have a right to believe in something and to have preferences, and in the end your decision should be made without any reservations. What I do believe I can recommend to anyone in this type of situation where a decision must be made whether to cut or not to cut is......educate yourself, and use your best judgement. What other people "believe" doesn't really matter, because in the end you have to answer for your own life and your own actions!
Best of Luck!

Answer 4

the answer to that's no. as a results of fact for the technique to be neccissary the little one could could have a medical undertaking on the time to choose the circumcision and boys are not born with foreskin problems. i wouldn't in any respect in a million years circumcise my son, i substitute into mutilated as an little one and not in any respect could try this to my very own new child. Circumcision takes away a ton of sensitivity, feeling and overall performance, i could not take that removed from my new child. Plus who am I to cut back areas of my childs healthful physique without his permission? i comprehend the long term effects of it as I easily have had to stay with them for 18 years and could could stay with them for something of my existence. -Connor

Answer 5

Actually in your son's age group it will no longer be a societal norm, as the circumcision rate is falling very rapidly and is probably below 50% by now.

The main thing is, it is HIS penis, not yours, so any alterations to it should be HIS decision -- not yours. If you leave him the way he was born and he doesn't like it, he can change that later. If you cut him and he doesn't like it, he's out of luck, and he may resent your having done this to him when he is old enough to understand what he is missing.

Unless he is going to Africa to have sex with HIV+ prostitutes and won't wear a condom, circumcision will not help him avoid AIDS -- another answerer has already shown that studies in the US show no advantage -- none -- to circumcision in AIDS prevention. (And the African study was very sloppy -- I doubt its results will be verified by future researchers.)

As for care, a baby with an intact penis is easier to care for than a circumcised baby. The foreskin is fused to the glans longer than he will be in diapers, so no special washing is needed. NEVER retract your son's foreskin -- only he should do that, and he will know when it starts to loosen up, typically between ages 5 and puberty.

Please watch a video of an actual circumcision (there are several online) and ask yourself if this is the way to welcome your perfect new child into your family. Don't have him cut if you are too squeamish to watch all the way through -- these are real children being permanently mutilated.

Answer 6

I'd say there is no reason to get a child circumcised, but the social norm is definitely a bad one.

For a start, it's non-reversible and the child doesn't get a choice. Maybe they don't want to be part of the social norm. Maybe they'd rather be the odd one out and have all their body parts.

Also, genitals are so private that not many people will know the child isn't circumcised.

The family may move, or the child may move as an adult, to somewhere where circumcision isn't as common.

Probably many people get it done for reasons of social conformity, and if they had all taken a stand, the circumcision rate in their area would have dropped significantly, thus making it no longer the norm.

Bad traditions need people to end them...Chinese foot binding, that place in Asia where they make girls wear long rings on their necks...somebody needs to say "this isn't right".

Answer 7

I think it is wrong to deprive a child of an integral part of his genitals, just to submit to what might be considered normal.
Circumsizion USED to be the norm in most US states. Nowadays its much less common and actually only about 15% of males worldwide have been circumsized.

Answer 8

yes... I am firmly against cosmetic surgery for newborns.

the USA is the only country in the world that routinely does this... the numbers are going down... if one of your concerns is him looking like his peers... don't worry, it's about 50/50 now anyway so let him keep his nerve ending, let him keep the extra sexual stimulation (gross to think of it now, but when he's married and 30, he & his wife will appreciate it)

think of it as taking his tonsils out... just for looks and just incase he gets an infection that is so bad that he needs them removed... sounds silly huh? it really is the same thing.

in my 32 years around my family (a big hispanic one I might add), and 10+ years as a preschool teacher, I've only known of 2 people who needed it done. One was a man in his 20s, promiscuous, and not very hygenic - frankly, he asked for that infection - it's a wonder they didn't remove the whole thing!! The other was a 2 yr old boy in my preschool class, who's mother partied a lot, changed jobs a lot, and the boy was picked up by different "friends" at least 3 times every week... again, poor care & hygiene (and after his circumcision, which also got an extra infection because the ointment that was supposed to be put on it several times daily, was only being used once daily by me and my assistant, we did report the mother to CPS).

these 2 are extreme circumstances, but they illustrate how unnecessary circumcision really is... it takes some dirtiness and carelessness and neglect for it to be necessary.

http://nocirc.org/

religious beliefs are entirely different though. that's something to take up w/ your spouce and clergy.

Answer 9

The whole teasing thing is silly. I was a teacher. I have NEVER heard of a boy being made fun of for the appearance of his penis. I have heard boys make fun of someone who was looking at someone else's penis. There's nothing quite as fun as hearing second graders calling each other ******* because a little boys was looking in the direction of another little boy's penis.

The whole washing thing is silly too. Have you ever seen a boy who doesn't want to touch his penis? My nephews can't keep their hands off of it. He'll learn to clean himself properly just like little girls learn to clean themselves.

Circumcision is not the social norm anymore. I mean, it is here, but I live in Kentucky, so that doesn't count. We're a military family, too, Bluetogreen, and I think your argument is silly, but you made the decision as an adult. Every boy should have that option. At least as an adult you were able to use plenty of pain meds and ice. Infants who undergo cosmetic surgery do not have that option.

Answer 10

yes, I do. Just because "everyone else is doing it" is a lousy reason to do anything. Smoking, owning slaves and gender discrimination used to be societal norms too. We now see that those were BAD things to be doing, even though they were at one time VERY widespread. Teach your son that being unique is a positive thing. If you cut him as an infant you can't undo it if he wants it back, but if you wait and he ends up absolutely hating his foreskin, you can always do it later. And contrary to popular belief, adult circs are minor surgery with full anesthetic and post op pain care, plus adults are potty trained. By contrast infants may or may not get pain relief for the actual procedure, no pain relief after, and they have to wear diapers over an open wound. Keep your little boy just the way god made him and suport whatever choice he makes when he is old enough to choose the permanent state of his genitals for himself. -Neb

Answer 11

The first thing I'd ask is to make sure it's the norm. Circumcision isn't as common as before, and in my areas where it was once common (the West coast, Canada, Australia...) uncircumcised boys are now in the majority. I'll bring up the rates more below, and have links. The following info helped another expectant mother make her decision, so I hope the links/resources help you, too.

I'm against infant circumcision. By leaving a boy uncircumcised, if he's not satisfied with it he can always get cut and end up satisfied in the end. One survey found that about half of circumcised guys would have preferred to had made the decision themselves:
http://www.jackinworld.com/qow/q15.html

Circumcision has become less common. Circumcision rates were as high as 90% back in the 1960s and 1970s (that's partly why today's adults are so... brainwashed, I supposed you could say, about thinking that circumcision is better) but they have fallen to as low as 14% in some states. Here are the statistics:
http://www.cirp.org/library/statistics/USA/staterates2004/

The USA is the last developed nation doing it to a large number of newborns without religious or medical needs. (Europeans, Latin Americans, Japanese, and most Australians, Canadians, and Asians don't circumcise):
http://www.circumstitions.com/Maps.html

Christianity doesn't ask for circumcision, either. In fact, sections of the Bible are harsh against circumcision, and the Catholic Church even condemned the surgery:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Circumcision_in_the_Bible#In_Christianity

In a medical study, it was found that females are more likely to hit orgasm with an uncircumcised man:
http://www.healthcentral.com/drdean/408/60750.html

The lubricated foreskin (on the inside... like your eyelids) slides up and down during sex and masturbation to stimulate the head (which is why you don't hear of uncircumcised guys needing lube to masturbate).
http://www.cirp.org/pages/anat/

Studies have found that circumcision reduces sensitivity (this article also mentions how it has lost popularity in the USA in recent times):
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,285532,00.html

And despite being more sensitive, uncircumcised guys still last in the same six minute range (average) that circumcised guys do:
http://www.blackwell-synergy.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1743-6109.2005.00070.x

Circumcision makes masturbation more difficult:
http://www.blackwell-synergy.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1464-410X.2006.06646.x

Which makes sense, that's how circumcision was promoted in the USA:
http://english.pravda.ru/science/health/27-03-2006/77873-circumcision-0

Increases erectile dysfunction rates:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/sites/entrez?cmd=Retrieve&db=PubMed&list_uids=14979200&dopt=Abstract%7C

If too much skin is removed in circumcision, it can make the penis smaller since the penis needs some skin to expand during an erection:
http://drgreene.org/body.cfm?id=21&action=detail&ref=1125
http://www.altermd.com/Penis%20and%20Scrotal%20Surgery/buried_penis.htm

There's pain involved, often why doctors don't want you in the room when it's done:
http://www.cnn.com/HEALTH/9712/23/circumcision.anesthetic/
http://www.pslgroup.com/dg/1f21e.htm
(you can search online for a circumcision video, too)

Circumcision does not completely stop penile cancer. The American Cancer Society has already confirmed the myth that circumcision = no cancer.
http://www.cancer.org/docroot/CRI/content/CRI_2_4_2X_Can_penile_cancer_be_prevented_35.asp

If circumcision did stop penile cancer, then penile cancer would not be more common in the USA (most circumcised adults) than in some European nations, where circumcision is not practiced other than for medical/religious reasons.
http://www.circumstitions.com/Cancer.html

And a new study found that circumcision does not reduce your chances to get HIV/AIDS. Unlike other studies, this one was done in a developed nation; the USA.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22096758/

Of course, there are other risks associated, but those are typically the ones due to surgery. You can research it more here:
http://shorl.com/deprygyfrykiny
http://www.mothering.com/articles/new_baby/circumcision/against-circumcision.html

PS. As far as cleaning goes, it's really simple. For the first years in life the foreskin doesn't pull back. That prevents stuff like poo/fecal matter from touching the head. Later on all it takes it 5 to 10 seconds to pull the foreskin back and rub the head; it even feels good.
http://www.mothering.com/articles/new_baby/circumcision/protect-uncircson.html