My husband hit me ( slapped med in the face) during an argument last night. I know that I highly annoyed him?

Question

We have been married almost 10 yrs and this is the first time. We have 3 kids. I always said that I would leave but now I don't know. I did hit him back. He doesnt want to talk about it and he is not apologizing what should I do?

He got mad because when I got home my 1 and 4 year old were unattended because he was sleeping and I told him to at least put the youngest to bed if he is not going to watch her. He responded very defensively and I got mad about the way he responded

Answer 1

Omg if he slapped me in the face that motherf*cker better run and run fast cuz the devil will be chasing him.

If he's not apologizing right there tells u ur answer, he don't care about what he did. Rethink ur marriage!

Answer 2

I always say once they hit you once, they will do it again usually. Since the 2 of you have been married for ten years and this is the first time, it doesn't sound like he is someone who would beat his wife but he just got lost in the heat of the moment. It is by no means okay, and you should let him know that. He should apologize and I don't understand why he wouldn't want to? He should be thankful you didn't call the cops. What was the fight about. Did you do something really wrong? He still shouldn't have hit you no matter what you did wrong. He had no right to hit you. I probably would give him a second chance though. If he does it again, then I would hit the door.

Answer 3

You will have to make a choice and decide how to go on with your life.
Unfortunately a man who hits a woman once will most probably do it again if he is not seeing his big mistake and suffering for it and willing to change and accepting to go to a psychologist / marriage consulting.
Why? Well, physical abuse is the last barrier to fall down and once a man has lost the respect for a woman that way, next time this barrier will fall down even more easily and faster.
He sees, that he has done it and there is no consequence for his behaviour, you are just angry and maybe crying, feeling depressed and so on.
So he feels stronger than ever before and from now on if there is any small argument he knows, that he will get his will and break yours by hitting you.
Men who hit a woman do it because they want to feel superior, controlling and they enjoy to see that a woman gives more and more by.
This is like an addiction and grows stronger every time, finally these sort of men hit their wives for every small thing which might disgust them somehow... trouble with a colleague at work, he doesn’t like the dinner, he saw her talking with a friend... whatever.
When the woman feels more and more inferior and destroyed the more powerful he feels.
But all these men are terrible losers and indeed they suffer from an inferior complex, that’s why they become aggressive and like to see somebody suffering and feel strong because they know that they had this power to provide the other person with such suffering...
What can you do?
1. Pack a few things and take your kids and leave the house, go to your parents home, a friends home, your brother or sisters home or even rent a hotel room.
2. Make things clear: He has to accept to go to a psychologist / marriage councillors to make therapy or you leave him.
3. Do not accept any presents he might bring you, as this way you sell your dignity and give him the right to hit you again.
4. Do not accept any intimacy with him. There is no way to make things right with having sex.
5. In the case he doesn’t accept to see a specialist wit you, you should leave him and get a divorce.
I am sorry, but unfortunately I can’t say anything else...
I wish you the necessary force to cope with this situation and take the right decision.

Answer 4

Its easy for someone to say 'oh leave him!! blah blah' but i know that life is much harder than that. i agree with CDSummer, u need to talk to him when it is appropriate. I guess when he is in a good mood try to bring it up. Say something simple and to the point, "We need to talk about that argument" then see how he responds. If he gets agotated say 'We need to know what went wrong in order for that to never happen again." Try to be patient with him. I know he should have never hit u but at times we do contribute/provoke a fight. If this was a black and white type of life he shouldn't have hit u and if he did u should leave but life is not like that, its complicated. Talk to him, discuss it, hear him out as to why he became so angry then go to counseling. U guys should definetly go to counseling or u at least. It can be expensive but its necessary. There are two options either you guys change and learn to handle conflict the right way or you guys have to separate, regardless counseling will help recognize which path is the best. There are many underlying issues/resentments here that have led to this and need to be brought out and be fixed constructively. Also u guys have children, both of u are the role models of you children on how to behave and who/how to choose a significant other as well. You guys have a dramatic impact on ur children u need to learn how to handle conflict ur children are watching and learning.

Answer 5

It does not matter that he has never done this before. The fact that he did it at and that he is not apologetic is a problem.

I would tell him that if he does not talk about this that you will have no choice but to divorce him. I would not play around with this type of behavior. It only takes once and then it is considered normal behavior.

Take care,
Troy

Answer 6

Leave him alone or you are bound to get another. Whenever a man hits a woman (slap, not punch), it's always automatic in people's eyes that he is a wife-beater. There are situations that lead to that slap. You guys need marriage counseloing or a permanent separation.
I gotta give you some credit, you didnt go on and on like some women are here do. You got to the point and took soem responsibility. Good job.

Answer 7

That is not good. I don't think I would ever trust someone again that hit me. Physical violence is so bad for relationships and very rarely do isolated events like that occur with out reoccuring at a later time. Try to defuse arguments before they get out of hand. If it happened again I would leave your husband, five year olds hit each other not adults with five year old children.

Answer 8

I have been in abusive relationships before and I know that I would leave if my husband ever beat me. BUT seeing how your husband has never hit you in 10 years and he didn't beat the crap out of you, I would forgive him. My husband has came close to slapping me, but that was only when I was in his face yelling at him. I don't know, I think that maybe he didn't mean to. I guess it depends on you and how you feel about it.

Answer 9

do not let this issue go...your husband seriously crossed the line last night - he should not have raised his hand to his wife...yes in heated arguments we can fly off the handle and get very annoyed but hitting you in the face is disrespectful and will ruin the trust and bond you both have...

talk to him...tell him you are still shocked by his actions, make him realize how painful it is...

your husband is probably very ashamed of his actions and does not want to confront what he has done but you will resent him if you do not get an apology - this is the least you deserve.

you have been wronged here...do not be submissive, you have 3 children and this behaviour is unacceptable in your household, be strong and assertive, good luck!

Answer 10

That's still dosent give him the right to hit you. If he dosent apologize for what he did. I think you should leave. But for guys it does take alot longer to apologize then women. Just give him some space to come around.