15 years ago i met and married my husband,after marriage we had four beautiful children.together!i am 35 years old now and on my birthday in august which has been4 months ago i found out my husband fathered another chid 11 years ago.the child now is a lil gurl a year younger then my 12 year old son.
my huand wasn`t the one who told me and still denies it till this day.it was the mother of the child who wrote me an email AND TOLD ME.....and i am sure my husband didn`t know he fathered the child ...he was never told before this.seeing this all went down august 30th ....four months ago........i have tried my hardest to be abe to forgive and forget....but i feel like such a fool.i can actually say i do not love my husband like a husband anymore.a friend maybe,but even as a friend i cannot trust him.i want out of this maiage so badly. not only am i mad he hurt me the way he did. but i am mad he hasn`t been there for this child ,cause this child did not ask to be born.
2007-12-18 03:33:42 · 10 answers · asked by mimi 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i do not know how to break it off with him....i am looking for answers anideas on how i can tell him, cause i told him i wanted to try and work it out but i can`t ...i can`t even sleep with him no more because i am so disgusted at what happened and how i was fooled....if it was you how would you end this relationship...........i ant to do it after christmas cause i have a 16-15-14- and 12 years old children at home and don`t want to ruin their christmas.please help me.......someone give me the ideas or answer i am looking for
2007-12-18 03:35:58 · update #1
Well first of all I would demand a paternity test to be done to be 100% sure he did indeed father the child. You can't throw away 15 years of marriage with your husband over an email some person sent you that may not even be true. After the paternity test is done and he IS the biological father, then make your decision. But never act without proof. What if the test comes back negative and this woman was just trying to stir up Shizt?
2007-12-18 03:39:33 · answer #1 · answered by Brittney 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
U do what u gotta do. U want it over then just tell him. It's hard to deal w/ something like that, I don't blame u. If u don't feel like ur in love w/ him anymore then it should be no problem, the only thing that will suck that u have to get past is how hurt he's gonna be. When I told mine it was over I did not shed not 1 tear and that's how I knew I was making the right decision.
2007-12-18 11:39:37 · answer #2 · answered by ♥Gotta Luv Pure Evil ♥ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No.
Only you can give yourself the answers you are looking for after searching your soul.
The first thing you need to know, and know for sure, is whether or not this is his child. Do NOT do anything until all the facts are in.
Then make your decision, but remember to keep your children's feelings in mind when you decide.
Try getting some counseling to help you deal with all this stress.
Merry Christmas. I will pray for you.
2007-12-18 11:58:54 · answer #3 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are ready to end your marriage because of an email from someone you don't even know. He denied it. He could take a paternity test but if she's not pursuing it I'm not sure I would either. If he proves himself innocent he might never forgive you for assuming. Be careful what you choose.
2007-12-18 11:52:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look....after 15 years some 'whore' pops up and e-mails this to you? What's her motive other than she's a skank and obviously is a POS to boot.
Forget it. In fact...forget about it right now. Any person who can be so cruel and heartless and after 15 goddamn years just come out of the blue and make an announcement like this deserves to contract a fatal disease and die an agonizing death.
In my humble opinion of course.
2007-12-18 11:41:08 · answer #5 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well that feeling will never go away if you cant forgive him them i would tell the kids after christmas this is what is going to happen that you are leaving. I dont think that if you cant sleep and you feel betrayed that you will get past this.
2007-12-18 11:54:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like there is more going on than what you are saying. One incident so many years ago can make you say you don't love him like a husband anymore? If that is the excuse you are going to use then so be it bu t be honest with yourself.
2007-12-18 11:54:25 · answer #7 · answered by mikeehr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hunny, my heart goes out to you. You just need to tell him your true feelings and that you just can't be married to him anymore. But on his side, he needs to get tested to see if the child is his. Sometimes, you mind tells you that you can accept things and move on, but Hunny its the heart that really has a mind of its own, and you need to listen to your heart. Good Luck
2007-12-18 11:42:20 · answer #8 · answered by eeyore6838 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You don't even know for sure that this is his child. A paternity test is crucial.
2007-12-18 11:43:22 · answer #9 · answered by zoee_d 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Connie B.
2007-12-18 12:02:54 · answer #10 · answered by Keeper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋