i invited my mom in to the delivery room when my daughter ws born. i did not want my husband mother in there because she is the mother in law from hell. he still let her in there. who think the she should have stay out. i can not stand this women.
2007-12-18 03:25:35 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Whether you like your mother-in-law or not does not change the fact that she is your husband's mother and he loves her like you love your own mother. It also does not change the fact that she is forever connected to you as the grandmother of your daughter and should have the same advantages as your mother is allowed. You put your husband in a terribly awkward and uncomfortable position when you wanted your mother to come in the delivery room but not his mother. How was he supposed to tell her that your mother could come in but she couldn't? Despite your ill feelings for her, she was instrumental in raising your husband to be the man he is today. Not all women know how to be good mothers-in-law or good daughters-in-law right off the bat. It can take a great deal of patience, compromise, and time to reach an understanding with each other. It sounds as if you have some serious issues to resolve or at least call a truce to so your daughter can grow up in the loving presence of both her grandmas. As both a mother and a mother-in-law (and a grandma), I know first hand that every relationship you have with your children and their spouses is different. Some are easy and some are more formal, but each one gets equal effort from me to make it the best relationship I can. In the case of your daughter's birth, your husband and you should have discussed who was to be in for the delivery before hand. A good solution is to have just you and your husband in the delivery room and allow grandmas to come in after the baby has been cleaned up and just the 2 of you have had a chance to bond a bit as a new family. My personal opinion has always been that it was just my husband and I in the room when we created this new life so it is fitting for just the 2 of us to share in the wonder of the birth alone. If you start inviting people to share with you, where do you draw the line? There are always feelings to be hurt and then the focus of the miracle of birth is shrouded in unhappiness.
2007-12-18 03:49:37 · answer #1 · answered by sevenofus 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It should be up to you. sorry hubbies. here are some ways to get what you want.... tell your husband you don't want HIS mom seeing your goods.... perhaps when everyone leaves the room tell the nurse that you'd like her to make up a rule like "after 5 cm or when you're pushing only 2 people allowed"...or you could just be completely honest with him and tell him you are not comfortable with the idea of her being there in the room. You also may feel differently about your own mother being in the room once you are in labor so who know what will happen. Good luck!!
BTW. double check the hospitals policy on how many people can be in the room with you. The hospital I am delivering at says I can have as many people as I want while I am laboring but only 2 when I start pushing. So you may not have to fight it out anyway.
2007-12-18 03:33:32 · answer #2 · answered by Corbin's Mommy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The whole point of having people in the delivery room with you is to be your support system. It is not a show or just something anyone has to be a part of. You need people in there that are going to help you through your delivery, not make it more difficult. You need to talk to your husband about that and tell him that this is more your decision than his. I'm 34 weeks with my first baby and I told my husband as soon as the baby is here his mom can come in, but no time before. I need support...not stress and so do you!
2007-12-18 03:43:23 · answer #3 · answered by jenn_smith28 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She should have stayed out. That's your decision who is in the delivery room. I know your husband must have been very involved in the whole birth. But it's not his decision who is in the room. It's yours. You could have even had her banned from the room. the doctors and nurses can't let anyone in there that you don't want in there. You're the patient.
Your husband shouldn't have asked her to come. He should have told her that you wanted your mother there and had already asked her to be there. He shouldn't have just let her in.
2007-12-18 03:55:57 · answer #4 · answered by Mama Bear 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Same thing here, I was in labor for 25 hours and kept having people (family) come in the room that I didn't want to be there. I kept telling my husband over and over again...get them out! Apparently he didn't have a back bone and let them stay even though I was mad and in a pissy mood. I eventually had to tell a nurse (during an epidural when everybody was forced to leave the room) that I didn't want anybody in the room with me cause I was tired and I had enough. She made everybody leave. My kid just turn 5 and I still remind my husband about that.
I think its rude of them. Like they don't understand what your going through or don't care. If my son's wife was giving birth then I would respect her wishes, cause even though it would be my grandbaby it would be her CHILD.
2007-12-18 03:36:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well it's over and done with now...unfortunately that had to happen. Did you discuss this with your husband before you went into labor? You should have discussed what each of you wanted and what you were comfortable with. I wouldn't be comfortable with my mother-in-law in the room while I was in labor so I have discussed that with my husband and we will not have anyone in there. Maybe your husband didn't realize it upset you so much. But since it is done and over with now I would suggest you and your husband forget the whole situation and just enjoy your new wonderful baby. Good Luck! :)
2007-12-18 03:33:39 · answer #6 · answered by LuvBug 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want her there, then she shouldn't be there.
Away from your husband, inform the nurses that you don't want this woman in the room. The nurses will ask for ID for everyone who comes and will only allow in your mother and husband if that is what you want. They can say only a certain amount of people are allowed in the room, or if you don't care if her feelings are hurt, the nurses can just tell her that you don't want her in the room.
2007-12-18 03:29:38 · answer #7 · answered by Malina 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I agree with above....your husband should have respected your wishes.
Where i'm delivering, you have to fill out paperwork on who is allowed in. I have my husband and my mom. The nurses won't allow anybody else back until we are transferred to a recovery room and I give the okay....not my husband give the ok.
But then again....we're only allowed 2 people in the L&D room....no matter what.
2007-12-18 04:29:33 · answer #8 · answered by Wolfy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom in
Your mother in law out
If he let her in, I would have told the nurse to get her out.
When he gives birth he can decide who he wants in the delivery room with him. Until then your in charge.
2007-12-18 03:55:33 · answer #9 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the guy who went by hard artwork does not voice her desires, the mil might desire to no longer be attentive to extra effective. i be attentive to that I initially deliberate for my mil to depart the transport room once I went into hard artwork, whether, via that element i did no longer care. Afterwards I asked her to depart to grant my babe & I some on my own time... usually, it relies upon who's travelling. If it fairly is close by friends & relatives i might say everywhere between an hour or 2. If it fairly is human beings from out of city i might say it relies upon on how long you sense gentle with & may well be longer than purely an hour or 2.
2016-11-03 22:59:01 · answer #10 · answered by hurlbut 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋