Question for women 30+.?

Question

My wife is 32 yrs old today. We have 2 kids, she works full time and feels like she has gained weight (she has maybe a little but not significant enough, but haven't we all in our 30's?) since we first met (about 8 yrs ago). She has very little desire to have sex anymore. Up until our son was born in 2005, this was not an issue. Now, she was not very big on initiating sex but was up for it none the less.

My question is, is this very common among 30+ aged women? I thought the sexual boom for ladies began at 30.

I'm 37 and I am as frisky as I was at 18. Maybe more because I don't get it as often as I did when I was 18, lol.

I've tried talking to her about it but she doesn't like talking about the subject at all. I think her perception of her weight is the main issue.

For the Madfor person who gave her answer, I do 95% of the cooking, we BOTH clean the house, we BOTH do equal amounts of laundry, I ALWAYS wake up when our 2 yr old does which is ALWAYS between 5-7 am and I let my wife sleep in on weekends except for Sunday.

So I feel like I do more than my share of the work load in the house which I don't mind doing, it's part of being married. So I'm definitely not neglecting to do my husbandly duties.

Answer 1

I am 31 and I used to hear the same thing from my husband. I have had 2 children and I am 20 lbs heavier from the day we got married almost five years ago. Does this impact our sex life, the answer is yes. I don't feel good about my appearance anymore. This could be your wife's problem too. When you don't feel sexy or desirable, its hard to get interested in sex. When you don't feel good about the way you look, there is really nothing that the husband can do to help besides opening up a conversation about it and tell her that you love her and you love the way she looks. I tried to talk to my husband about this and he told me that he doesn't weigh or look the same as he did when we got married either and he thinks I am sexy and desirable or otherwise he wouldn't want to make love to me. It made me feel better somehow.

Answer 2

I feel the same way she does and it's normal. I'm not really concerned over my body image but I have had a child and 2 miscarriages. Your wife is under a lot of stress with a 2 year old. Give her some time. If things dont change soon, do as I did. Make her go to the doctor. It could be a hormonal change brought on by stress. Even I at 34 don't want to talk to my husband about sex right now because of stress.

Answer 3

i'm 33, and I don't have that problem. Your wife might feel overwhelmed because she works and has 2 small kids.
Try to pick up some slack- clean up or do the dishes, help with baby sitting, pick up the kids from daycare.
An unusual but effective way to take care of both issues is to start working out together, even if it's just walking. you'll both be more relaxed and healthier, and she'll feel better about her body. Plus, it'll give you some 1-on-1 non-sexual time, which might renew the bond and make her feel up for sex

Answer 4

This is easily fixed. If possible, one night a week, you find a babysitter that your wife trusts and take her out on the town. Go see a movie, have dinner, go to the theater. Or, get a sitter ( again on she trust so she won't worry to much) and stay at home. Fix a nice romantic dinner, have some wine (or your drink of choice) listen to some romantic music. In the meantime, tell her everyday how much you love her and how sexy she is. In no time at all she will want to have sex with you. When you are having sex, make it for her. Try to get her off before yourself, show her how much you still desire her. Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 5

Why do men not see what the issue really is? Go back and read the beginning of your question; she has 2 kids, works full time...how much time do YOU spend raising and caring for those kids and what do YOU do in the home (cleaning, shopping for food, etc.)?

Answer honestly. If it is not half of everything that she does, that is your answer my dear. Women get sick and tired, sometimes literally, of doing everything while the old man sits with his feet up watching "the game". She needs to kick some butt and start telling you to do your share so she can feel "frisky" again. How do you expect a dead tired woman to behave, like a Playboy bunny after a hard day?

Start moving yourself into child care and house work without her promptings.And when was the last time you made her feel cherished and appreciated? How about taking her out for dinner, or bring home flowers, or doing something else special, like buy her a great Christmas present. I guarantee, something will change if you begin to treat her better.

Answer 6

I think everyone is different, although it's common for women to hit their sexual peak in their 30's, it's not always the case.

But it could be more of a psychological problem rather than hormonal. Do yoy think your wife consider seeing a sex therapist to talk about it with a third party.

Answer 7

I hope that your wife is not really feeling undesireable. That would be so sad. Obviously, you still find her desireable. Maybe, a surprise flower delivery with a card saying how you desire her might be a little thing that could work. If she works, send it THERE. Women love to get flowers at work, it is just a woman thing. Court her.

Answer 8

Yes it could be normal, talk to her and have her checked by a gynecologist to see if her progesterone is low, so maybe the doctor can advice you better than ppl in the web.

Answer 9

make her feel special and sexy, and not only on the days you want it. weight plays a big role in sex, help her feel sexy again.