American Women!!! What gives you your confidence???

Question

Is it the Society that gives you a level playing field?
Your men who don't pull you down?
Or, is it the fact that you've not yet known any real misery, hardships, suppression in your life?

As an Indian (Asian) woman, I am intrigued and am highly curious to find out....Comments, please!!!

Nice to see you too, dear life_is. Actually I've had a very comfortable life so far and haven't seen any real hardships. But our society like to keep our women kind of suppressed. Its changing no doubt but sometimes I feel more the things change more they remain same. At our workplace we women have to work twice as hard to be noticed and then if you're more successful that your husband you've to sometimes face his silent displeasure. Women are also sort of women's own worst enemies sometimes. Even though our govt. gives plenty of incentives for girl child the society remains tilted towards males.

I felt through whatever interaction I've had that American Women do not feel discriminated against and are much more confident than women elsewhere in the world. I'd really like to know about Romanian woman place in her society. Pl. feel free to write to me at my e-mail address.

Answer 1

We learned it from our Mommas! :-)

All people are a product of their culture—we behave the way we’re expected to behave. But I think *some* of what you’re seeing may be the ideal, and not the reality. It’s an eclectic country, there are plenty of traditionalists. I just FINALLY got rid of a co-worker who would constantly inform me that that I was going to Hell for working, when (in his interpretation) the Bible says I should be having babies and making cookies [Actually, I make an amazing cookie :-) ]. I also have known some women who were only working until they found someone to pay their way--not my style.

Statistically though, a woman still makes 25% less than a man in the same job. But *I* don’t make less. That’s the difference: it’s not that equal treatment is always given automatically, but it’s attainable, if you’re willing to insist on it. Anecdotally, my little sister and I demanded once, in the name of equality, that my father take us on one of his fishing trips, along with the two boys. He, I think in amusement, easily consented. Of course, once we got there, and realized that fishing involved spearing slimy things on sharp hooks and sitting silently for endless hours, we wandered off to paint our nails and chat. :-) "First Dragon" has it right: the culture of the country is *choice*. You’re free to wear an apron, a suit, or both, and if people try to stop you, you can sue them for their house, car, spouse, and children. We're a (irritatingly) litigant people: our confidence is legally enforceable.

But I don’t think it’s all easy, or even all good. I think, for both genders, the notion of “choice” and of entitlement also lead to impermanence: it’s a culture where self-interest is frequently valued over loyalty. Jobs are provisional, marriages are dissolved the moment they hit a rough patch.

As for “silent displeasure”, evil geniuses like me also have to tiptoe around male egos sometimes; I can't tell you how often I've caused a man to panic just by holding the door open for him. (What's the big deal? I got there first.) However, I don't claim not to have an ego of my own, nor do I have the patience anymore to, as you once said, “pretend to be lost”. It’s difficult sometimes, but, that’s the point of searching, isn’t it? To find the person who balances you, and is strong enough to let you be strong.

And by the way, you look pretty darn confident from where I’m typing, my friend. :-)

Answer 2

Nice to meet you again, Param.

(As a Roumanian woman) I went over very hard times. Most probably as You did, too.

I suppose that self confidence is from within all the EXPERIENCE you traversed and you survived in accordance with your esprit.
It's quite "IF" (by Rudyard Kipling) of your Life experiencing.
When I was a child, and I've chosen this poem as ~ a sort of my own Bible, I thought it is too much to be true, too much to be possible to have such extreme experience - what a child I was . . .
Take "IF" to give your confidence, or whatever else gives your morale.
Take a model. I've had my mother: "Be always on your own feet, my girl!"

Answer 3

In my opinion, children from their young age are not discriminated on the gender basis the parents treat both sons and daughters on the same level in evey aspect and the children of both genders also have demanded same treatment from the family and society. Further, the society also have never favoured the women with special treatment, therefore, the women there have in built in confidence due to the prevailing atmosphere.

Answer 4

I think it's partly the American doctrine of self-determination; that applies to both sexes of course. The conventional wisdom is that you can do whatever you choose to do. In reality there are limitations, of course; but the attitude of choice remains.
Even very low income women here often have high confidence, since they value goals that seem within reach.
This is generalization, of course.
The media tend to portray women as better than men in a lot of ways; more successful, smarter, more insightful, etc; this is a fashion in recent decades. It's often unfair to men; but then, when were the media ever fair?
American schools are actually more suited to girls than to boys; they tend to reward behavior that naturally occurs more often in girls, like verbal skill, attention to detail, and ability to sit still. This makes the girls feel more successful than the boys, who are more likely to get in trouble for rough-housing and speaking without permission.

Answer 5

Of course not all American women are confident. But speaking in general terms, I think it is because most parents try to raise their kids with the idea that they can do anything if they try. That's why Americans tend to be more confident as a whole.

Answer 6

the goals that i set for myself and achieve, the belief i have in myself and my determination, im not one of these women that run around trying to be equal to men, i dont think that will ever happen in this corrupt world, but it makes me feel good about myself when i complish goals and i am constantly growing spritually and emotionally, so this is how i get my confidence.

Answer 7

no-one has as much confidence as they seem to have. It's an act. put your shoulders back, your chin up and smile. Walk like you own the place, and wear clothes that make you feel sexy. That is the way to be confident