man raising a child?

Question

if a man pays the money that the child can live off only his money and there is some extra left over that the mother is using for house or rent payments why shouldnt the child just live with the man?

if the man can raise and take care of the child after work and during work can afford a babysitter to take care of the child, why does the father lose the child and the mother gets it when she cant even pay for the apartment herself not even including paying half for the child

Answer 1

The courts and history have always found that taking the nuturing ability of a mother from its child is unhealthy. That a child needs its mother at least until it is older. In some cases that is not true and the father is very capable of being loving and nurturing....but I believe the system still sees it this way.

Answer 2

Ok so the man can support the child money wise BUT can the man support the child emotional wise. Can he have unconditional love also and be there for the child whenever needed? That means having patience and understanding. A mother is nuturing. But i do see your point. I know someone going through that. He gives the child money for things he needs and then its enough for some bills and food. And he is very loving and caring for his son but the woman got him just because he could not prove her to be unfit (using drugs, abusive, etc.) So there for she got him and he is stuck paying and he dont even get to see his son just talks to him when he can. Im a woman and if i was to ever seperate i would not take my son from his father since he is a good man it would be a 50/50. But some woman dont want that just for the simple fact that there angry with the father cuz of a bitter breakup so why not hit him were it hurts. Ever seen that movie liar liar. Some women are like that and some do take full custody because she is looking out for her child like let him support the child but not let the child live with the father cuz the father may be a alcholic or abusive and thats totally understandable. But if the father is doing what you said + unconditional love and the mother does not want to share the child well im sorry she is just stupid. Cuz dont deny the child a father just cuz you dont like the man. Hope this help. Good luck if your one of those good men but with this problem.

Answer 3

as far as the whole who can love the child more mother or father that doesn't come up in court. a court cannot say who will love the child more, the law is simply based on a 500 year old english common law which many women these days refuse to accept that fact. a woman simply wins custody cause she is the mother. what id say is get yourself a new lawyer a female since its less likely to get screwed over and the judges are after all females these days and record how much money you pay and request receipts

Answer 4

i feel there is nothing wrong with a man raising a child, but he has to be ready for it. Most of the time in a divorce the mother gets custody because the mother has spent the most time raising the child. In my marriage, my husband is great with the kids, but I take care of them primarily. I have more patience when the boys get rowdy, or when they were babies and would cry. If something ever happened to us and he tried to take the kids, even though he would have more money for them, I have the time and patience it takes to care for them. Caring for children isn't about money, a millionaire can support more kids financially, but who does the emotional support? usually mom, or a nanny in cases of the rich, and that is why mom usually gets the kids.

Answer 5

Go to court and get custody. And using the child support money to pay rent is fine. That is part of raising a child is to have a roof over their head...only one small portion of it though, there are diapers, wipes, bottles, milk, sitters, transportation to sitters, food, school supplies, new shoes, fruit snacks.....band aids from falling off her new bike, 12 pairs of gloves in the winter because she cant find the matching one....ballet classes...pizza for slumber party with her friends, hair products, those chips she likes in her lunch...gas to get back and forth from school....money for the 50 fundraisers at school, clothes....shall I go on. It takes a lot for anyone who is raising children whether it be a man or a woman. And a child is never an "it"

Answer 6

Inabillity to provide financial support - or - failing to provide adequate living conditions for a child - or - instability in housing (getting repeatedly kicked out for non-payment of rent,for example) all can be reasons to modify custody and give the child to you.

Many states also have provisions that say that a non-custodial parent (dad, in this case) can have the child when Mom is working and Dad is not (it's called the "right of first refusal" in most states).

Child support can go for rent, car payments, etc. However, it is rare for child support to be the only income into Mom's home. If it is, then ask the court to order her to get a job or file for Social Security disability - or ask for custody of the child.

Answer 7

I just got sick reading that, no child should ever be taken away from their Mother unless she is unfit. I am sorry but children need their Mothers. I am divorced and I never kept my kids Dad from them, never made them live by a court appointed schedule, if he wants to come get them he does, he's their father but what you just wrote was done so without the slighest care for the emotional piece of things. I feel very sorry for anyone who ever gets involved with you.

Answer 8

Sounds very unfair the way you put it.
But I feel there must be a bit more to the whole sorry tale you are airing!
On the face of it you certainly have a good case - so consult a good family lawyer and go back to court!
I personally know of a man who did just that and has now been bringing up his only daughter for over 10 years - and very well and successfully too!!!
He , since starting this difficult job for a man on his own, has 'taken up' with a very understanding woman and the three of them appear to be leading a very good life in this culture of many difficulties nowadays!

Answer 9

Woman are known for their nurturing capabilities. Not that men do not have this ability; its just that they do not allow it to show as easily. And nurturing is a very integral part of development, especially for the young children. I would die if the father took my child. She is such a part of my heart and life, regardless of my financial woes, that if she were gone from my daily life; I'd die of heartache, literally. I know without a doubt it would kill me.
She is the only thing I truly look forward to throughout the day. I love her sleepy baby smell and sweet face in the morning. I take my lunch hour to go see her bright smile during the day. I'm enthralled with her giggles and needs in the evening. She is my escape from the stress of everyday life.

Answer 10

I feel you pain sincerely
I am going thru the same problem.
I am a better parent than she is but the courts don't see that way.