Can you write me a limerick (5)?

Question

Must start with:

My crazy old Uncle named Ray

Answer 1

My crazy old Uncle named Ray
Behaves in unusual ways.
Since last July
He's dated three guys
Yet swears up and down he's not gay!

My crazy old Uncle named Ray
Can never recall holidays.
This Christmas he thought
Our family distraught
For feasting on turkey buffet.

My crazy old Uncle named Ray
Wears hideous brunette toupees.
The women he meets
All work in the streets
But even they send him away.

My crazy old Uncle named Ray
Works late in an all-night cafe.
His customers eat
At the counter replete
With leftovers and warm cabernet.

Answer 2

My crazy old Uncle named Ray
Must've had a horrible day
His medication ran out
He screamed and ran about
And now they're here to take him away!

-or-

My crazy old Uncle named Ray
Announced he was running away
So we locked all the locks
before he could put on his socks-
I applied for a new uncle today.

Need mroe just ask! I love limericks haha.

Answer 3

My crazy old uncle named Ray
Was a flesh-eating zombie gourmet
Whilst mending the cooker
He found a one-legged hooker
He’d flambéed in Montego Bay

Answer 4

My crazy old uncle named Ray
Came by to see me one day
He wanted some money
To spend on his honey
She was a horse, he bought her some hay!

Answer 5

My crazy old Uncle named Ray.
smokes tons of weed every day
how bad it smells
and your killing brain cells
"yah, but only the weak ones." he'd say.

Answer 6

My crazy old Uncle named Ray
was upset he'd cleaned out the buffet
and he wouldnt go potty
we said it'd make him nutty
to be brave & hold back all that cray.

Answer 7

Got out of the pen, one day.
He chased the duck
Then he stole my truck!
And on top of that he was gay.