a few days ago i recieved a letter from my exes solicitor stating he wants to see my daughter... again, this will be the 3rd time he has done this, the last time we went to mediation and i agreed he could see her 1 day a week while im there- cos she doesnt know him- and we both signed an agreement to state what we're agreeing to and all i aske dis that he'd be consistant, the contact only lasted for 2 months. that was 2 years ago. for the past 3 years tho my daughter thinks my husband is her dad and i feel that if he is to be allowed to see her again he'll just let her down and will confuse my daughter. ive told my solicitor i dont want to go to mediation again so ilargue it out in court, what do you all think i should do? i just want my daughter to be settled and happy and ive got her best interests at heart cos i think he'll just let he down ...again . she's only 5. please help!!!
2007-12-18 01:09:51 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ugggghhhh, if people can't commit to a child then they should just walk away. I firmly believe that, my father walked away and I'm not half as F'd up as some of my friends who lived with fathers or mothers who were only there part time and making broken promises. Why hurt a child just to ease your conscience for walking out in the first place. I don't get it...he should think of her and not himself.
2007-12-18 01:16:08 · answer #1 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really don't want her seeing him and him letting her down you will have to take it to court. Take the papers you signed 2 years ago and show the judge that you made the effort and he choose not to see her for 3 years. The judge might still think its in her best interest to see her birth father so you will have let him, just prepare your daughter beforehand so there are no surprises and she dose not get her hopes up. Let her know that no matter what her birth father dose her dad (your husband) will always be her dad and he is there for her. If she is not comfortable after the first meeting you should definitely talk to a judge again and explain that because he ignored is parenting obligations for years she sees him as a stranger and then you can ask the courts for a no visitation order and possibly get your ex to sign over his rights so he can not mess her life up every time he gets a whim.
2007-12-18 09:25:07 · answer #2 · answered by SBN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you think you are doing the right thing by keeping this man from his daughter. I have never known my birth father. The father that I grew up with and loved is my father, I have never needed validation from my birth father. It was my choice, don't hide anything from your child, make it known that she has a birth father, give her the choice. Her best interest is to know all the facts, even if her birth father lets her down it is better for her to know the truth. Give your child love, that is all she will ever need.
2007-12-18 09:17:52 · answer #3 · answered by Cheri >^.^< 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Chen is right. My husband left the kids when they were small and the never got over it. I never bad mouthed him but they finally got the idea that he wanted no part of them. It was rough for a while but we got through it.
2007-12-18 09:25:11 · answer #4 · answered by tiger1943 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its a shame that your ex's life is so messed up that he has to mess his own daughters life up to. the sad part is he does have rights to her. i would go back to court, explain to them that all he has done is confuse her and disrupt her life. and he needs to understand that he cant just pop up when ever he feels like it. he's only hurting her more.
2007-12-18 09:20:30 · answer #5 · answered by jstagirl1969 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send the letter back ripped in shreds.
2007-12-18 09:12:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋