my friend has been married over 4 years to this man she think is gay....they sleep in seperate rooms,he does not care if she comes home at night and he refuses to have sex with her...he even told her she was disgusting for trying to turn him on...but...he is weathy he pays all the bills..she works as well but she get to pocket all her money..should she stay or leave....i told her to stay for the free ride
2007-12-18 01:03:56 · 43 answers · asked by =lost soul= 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Stay, then get a boytoy.
2007-12-18 01:06:35 · answer #1 · answered by cooter726 5 · 0⤊ 10⤋
I would leave. Why waste your time with a man who doesn't want you?
And a free ride? That's just denying yourself a real life. Eventually it will end in a way that she may not be able to control. Her best bet is to start saving her money and get ready to leave on her own. She needs to learn to be independent and enjoy her life for everything. We only get one chance to live life fully, and she's not going to be doing it tied to another man. Plus, if she gets another man on the side, like someone else said, when they do get divorced that can be used against her as adultery. Why take that chance? If she starts a divorce now she can tell the judge that they don't connect and there's no love anymore. Once the divorce is final than she can find another man.
2007-12-18 01:10:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I guess that all depends on if you care about the person you are married to. Couldn't she tell before they got married that she couldn't turn him on? She had to have known something was different when he didn't want to have sex.
Then what will happen if she finds someone & falls in love with this person, get a divorce then, or stay married to a man that gives you no love & affection because he pays all the bills?
I couldn't live my life like that, I need my partner/spouse to love me in every meaning of the word. I don't want one night stands with different men that could have god knows what.
Is state of your mental & emotional health worth being in a loveless marriage?
2007-12-18 01:14:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say stay for the ride and pursue other relationships. She can take her time and learn from this at her own leisure until she's ready to move on.She's got a roof over her head with no expenses she can bank her income and find something more meaningful at the same time. Best of both worlds I say.
2007-12-18 01:14:37 · answer #4 · answered by seanomc70 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah I think you are totally right tell her to stay and see what goes on in future because you never know, maybe he isnt gay and just doesnt feel for her anymore. Men get like that. I personally think that if this doesnt work out then she should break it up and then find someone else much better, I am sure she will. Hope I helped :)
2007-12-18 01:08:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would leave. Money isn't everything. They say if you marry for money you earn every penny, meaning it's a lot of work to pretend & you won't be happy. If she's still good friends with him then her life may not be horrible but it could be a lot better if she left & found someone to love & be intimate with.
I was married to a man who I loved & who was my best friend but I was not "in love" & was not attracted to him & it took me 10 years to finally end it & am so relieved I did. I'm now with a man I truly love & am very attracted to.
2007-12-18 01:10:52 · answer #6 · answered by Pogo peeps 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Weird but not an uncommon situation these days. Perhaps he is married to her to cover his gay relations that he hides from family and other friends. If he refuses to have sex with her and tells her that she is disgusting for even trying then I hope she can deal with being rejected and belittled, know that she is beautiful and just go about her life as she wishes. At this point, perhaps she could try to inquire about his sexuality and possibly agree to "pretend" she is married to him to cover his true desires. I say whatever makes her happy and that she can mentally deal with... go for it!
2007-12-18 01:11:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on what she wants. Personally I would rather have someone who loves me and I love him than to have all the money in the world. Money doesn't mean anything to me. Life is short and happiness is much more important. I had money before and I left my ex. When I left I told everyone I was leaving wealth for happiness. I would leave and find someone who makes me happy.
2007-12-18 01:09:57 · answer #8 · answered by Just Bein' Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no one should be subjected to such a lifestyle and money will never buy real happiness. He can spoil her all the while killing the wife she is inside. She should go to God about this matter and leave him, refusing to return until he gets his act together.If he doesn't then she should file for divorce. It's pure torture to live with someone you love and desire to make love to only to be rejected, that's like a slow but sure death. They are both in my prayers.
2007-12-18 01:10:01 · answer #9 · answered by Survivor 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Free ride? No wonder women get a bad name. You should NEVER stay with someone, just for the 'free ride', are you kidding me?
If she thinks he's gay, or is unhappy, then they either need to work on their problems or she needs to leave, simple as that!!!
2007-12-18 01:09:37 · answer #10 · answered by MayMay 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a pretty sad excuse for a marriage, but you don't live with him or her, so you don't know everything that's going on (or not going on) with them.
I personally would not stay in such a marriage.
This is a decision she will have to make on her own.
You can help her weigh out her choices by suggesting she write a list or pros and cons of staying with him, but inevitably, the choice is hers.
2007-12-18 01:10:23 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋