My husband and i are seprated and i wrote him a letter telling him how i'm shocked by the way he has treated me. Anyways i go to his brothers to give it to him he never comes to the door i don't know if he is home or not because there are 2 cars outside the third one is gone. Anyway i go and put it in the mailbox without even an envelope! do you think his brother will throw it in the trash orwill read it then give it to him my sister and law i think will jst hand it to him. I really wanted him to read it i texted him asking if he got it and he never answered but lately i can't reach him by his cell he hardly answers ect.
2007-12-18 00:11:01 · 17 answers · asked by poo~poo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Try e-mail if you both have it. This way you can type away, but also you will have a record of your letters and HIS ANSWERS, which can prove to be a good thing. But don't tell him that, lol.
Make sure you save anything you send and get back if you do it this way. I would also start a "diary" of things he's done and such, that way if and when you go for a divorce you will have everything documented. I used to work for divorce attorneys and we would tell all of our clients to do this.
Be careful though what you write so you don't write something that can be used against you. Remember, that can happen too, things can backfire. So be careful of ANYTHING you put in writing that can be saved and used as evidence against you!!
2007-12-18 01:17:24 · answer #1 · answered by MrsCrabs 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never put anything into a mailbox, it is a violation of federal laws. Truth.
What makes you think he will care about how you feel? If he treated you badly then why would he care now? Get over it. Don't you know that when you do these kinds of things all you are doing is continuing to give him power over your life? If he thinks he is still having an effect on your life he is winning. You need to get over this and forget about him, that is the only way to take control of your life back.
Focus not on the past, but on the future. Where do you want to be in life? Make plans, make moves to get there. He is like last nights supper, down the drain! Treat him like he is floating towards the water treatment facility.
Do not give him the satisfaction over knowing you still have pain inside. Just curious...why do you dwell on how he treated you when in your own words he treated you badly? Do you suffer from low self-esteem? You should be happy that he cannot treat you this way anymore, be happy not to have to deal with him and focus on you for a change.
Yoda out
2007-12-18 00:29:07 · answer #2 · answered by Yoda 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That would really hit a sore spot. I am sorry that you had to go through that. I can imagine what is going through your head, you probably hurt becuse you feel as if you are second.You should be second to no one in the eyes of your husband. Regardless to rather or not she would take him back the fact is that the man you have given your life to is professing his undying love to another woman! Feelings dont go away without some effort from the person who has them, but they do go away. It isnt right for him to reminissce about a long forgotten relationship, his focus should be purely on you. You have given him alot. not only do you do what a woman is supposed to do, the cooking cleaning all the good stuff, but you also swallowed your pride and let him back into your life. You learned to trust him again and I know that is alot of work, he is showing you no appreciation for any of it and given all you have done you more than deserve it. I think he needs some help.maybe therapy. He has to understand that he needs to live each day appreciating what he has been blessed with rather than worrying about things that have no meaning in the life the two of you created together. You should have been able to put that to rest years ago and never had to think about it again. I hope it works out for you you sound like a kind understanding person who deserves a whole lot of respect.
2016-04-10 05:44:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you live in the US, the way you gave him the letter was actually illegal. Only USPS employees are allowed, by law, to put incoming materials into a mailbox. I'm not making this up.
The best way to get him the letter would be to send it "return receipt requested". Take a new letter to the post office, where they have special envelopes. It costs a small fee, but when they deliver the letter, your husband will have to sign for it, and the postal service will then deliver the signature to you, proving that he got the letter.
2007-12-18 00:27:17 · answer #4 · answered by Happy-2 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd say most certainly the wrong way to deliver the letter, Always best to do this face to face. You say you are separated from your husband, if it was your idea to separate and not his, then I too would be shocked, but if it was his idea to separate, then you should not be shocked, but rather expected this kind of treatment. Not that it makes it any easier, because it doesn't. But from what you say, he won't text you back, won't return your calls...etc.... I'd say he just doesn't want a confrontation with you of any sort. He may be moving on. Sorry, I know that may not be what you want to hear, but it is possible. If he works, wait for him after work & try talking to him then. If he still won't talk to you, I'd say it is pretty much over and would try and move on. Good Luck
2007-12-18 00:32:39 · answer #5 · answered by Blu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In your heart you want him back. You love him. You are even sorry for what happened.
But he, is adamant. He is not going to take this. Here is what you do:
Give him time. Chances are, he has read your letter. Any decent human being would have handed that letter over to the person to whom it was addressed. So I guess he has read it.
Time is the best healer. After a few months if you attempt to reestablish contact perhaps you may be successful.
Are there any kids involved? It can be messy if yes.
2007-12-18 00:35:25 · answer #6 · answered by Nightrider 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just give him more time. Maybe he is hurting? I don't think handing him a letter or your dropping it in the mailbox was a good move. You should talk to him face to face. Try to find out his new daily routine and go and talk to him, or maybe go to his place of work during break time. Surely, he won't make a scene if you go to him and ask that you talk. Good luck.
2007-12-18 02:32:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the mail carrier finds that letter in the mailbox, they will confiscate it. If your address is not on it, it will go to the Dead Letter Office. If anyone reads it, it will be the folks at the DLO.
You are not allowed to put mail without postage in any mailbox.
2007-12-18 22:14:44 · answer #8 · answered by Bostonian In MO 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At this point, it doesn't sound like it mattered if you gave it to him personally or not. He is not responding to text msgs and he isn't returning your phone calls.
Leave him alone for a while and let him make the next move. He is probably thinking he can have you back whenever he decides and is probably thinking you are just making a pest of yourself.
2007-12-18 00:24:15 · answer #9 · answered by drewxjacobs 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh..wow..chances are someone will read it. Definitely should have at least put it in an envelope. Hopefully whomever..assuming it's not your husband, after reading the first feel lines will ethically feel bound to not read any further and give it to your ex. good Luck
2007-12-18 00:18:14 · answer #10 · answered by Who Knew? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋