i have a 3.5 year old daughter and she naughty for me but not my mum any ideas?

Question

hi i have a 3 and a half year old daughter im a stay at home mum and im finding my daughter keeps being naughty at home and rude but when we go to my mums or out with my mum she is good with no back chatting or being rude shes lovely but doesnt want to know me just my mum and sister.i know that they have been there from the start of her life i had a very long hard labour then a emergency c-section so when my daughter was born my husband went to work and my mum and sister come round to help me as i was very poorley so they played a big part in my daughters life.i keep feeling like my mum and sister always are alot calmer with my daugher and find it alot easier to play with her it just comes naturally to them.i feel like im no good at being a mum and that my daughter enjoys my mum and sisters company more than mine i love my daughter to bits and she says she loves me i just wish she could b the little girl she is for my mum and sister for me.can anyone help?

Answer 1

First of all children are normally better for other people than they are for their care givers. If your around someone all the time you get frustrated with them no matter who they are your parent, your child, your spouse. Secondly children learn very quickly what they can get away with an with whom.
Your daughter does love you as much most likely she loves you more. My son is three I get nothing but endless complements from his day care, but at home he back talks and doesn't listen. My friends 1 and 3 year olds are terrors for her but when I watch them they are wonderful. Its normal, don't feel like your not a good mom. your daughters just acting like a 3 year old.

Answer 2

I understand the way you feel. My son is 4 and used to listen way better to my mother than me. I asked her why she thinks that is so (she is the head manager of a daycare and has been working in her job for almost 30 years). She told me that for one she can be more calm with him because she knows that when he misbehaves or it gets too bad she can always hand him back. He senses that. Also she said that I make too much of a deal about him sometimes. She is firmer with him and so she doesn't have to show that all the time since he doesn't argue with her. I seem to treat him like a sibling more than my son every now and then.
Try monitoring your behavior and feelings towards your daughter. Sometimes she can be annoying, can't she? Every mom feels that way about their child sometimes. She can feel that. Sorry to say this but you are the every day routine and your mom and sister are the special people. That doesn't mean that she loves you any less. Enjoy the fact that she gets along with others so well and that you get a break sometimes.

Answer 3

All I can say is, that's life. You are not the only one whose child is better behaved around others than the mother. I find that my 2 1/2 year old gets bored as her and I spend each day together, but when someone else is around she doesn't get so bored. She behaves better if I include her in the things that I am doing, rather than tell her I am too busy to play.

Answer 4

Ask your mom what she does to get her to behave and mimic it. You have probably been too easy on your daughter, a push over if you will, and now she walks all over you. It will take awhile for her to get used to the new rules at home but she'll fall in line. Be fair and consistant. Don't give in to what she wants if you have already said no....that's a biggy. She needs to learn who her mom is and that mom is to be respected just like grandma and auntie.

Answer 5

at the end of the day she comes home with u and thats why your mom and sister are more calm and play with her more easily.

at grandmas and aunty, they have all the time to do things with her. at home, well she makes herself comfortable and she knows how to play u.