but i like his personality. & i dont kno any other guys who r christians that actually live it. But he does! and it draws me to him. But i dont find him attractive at all he isnt my type. But he is nice. I'm use to being with very attractive men. But since I have become a christian.... I dont want to be shallow... he is nice tho and good 2 me. I can get any guy i want... but its wierd i think i might give it a shot... i'm getting to kno him right now... so we're just frens... but he likes me alot. what do u guys think? have u guys been with anybody u dont find attractive at all? i like waking up to something like wow... lol/// but i cant be shallow.
2007-12-17 22:03:49 · 23 answers · asked by dana king 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
when i said waking up 2 something like wow! i meant a guy i date will be my husband.... no sex till marriage..
2007-12-17 22:14:58 · update #1
Oh dear ...
I'm going to sit here and wait for responses. This should be fun.
P.S. My sincere advice to you is to delete this question a.s.a.p.
2007-12-17 22:06:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 2⤋
Has your mother ever told you anything about boys? Well,the things that keeps two people together is when they are sexually attracted to each other. If you are not attracted to this boy then move on with your life because he will bring you nothing but trouble. Forget about religion and find yourself a boy that makes tingle every time he holds your hand, and try to be sure that he is tingling because he is holding your hand. Without the sexual attraction a marriage will not last; the couple might continue living together, but they will not be happy and will not be having sex either. If you can get any guy you want, then check out the guys that you are attracted too, but remember what I said about tingling, because if the sexual attraction is not in the relationship you are wasting your time. The things about religion is that so many believers marry for the wrong reason, and I know that priests and preachers want members to marry a person in their same religion, but that, if there is no real sexual attraction for each other, it will be a marriage for the wrong reason.
Truth
2007-12-17 22:31:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Trust me...my husband is hot...He's a christian too but after 6 years of marriage that waking up "wow" factor has sorta turned to a much simplier "uh..okay". I've dated my share of good looking attractive guys and the looks stuff always wears off. Personality, smarts and a heart for God is more powerful than the exterior could ever be and its smart to choose a mate that you can respect and maintain friendship with. Its not shallow to be attracted to looks...we all have that issue because our brains and hormones tell us to listen to the chemicals...the thrill factor in being with someone who sets off all our bells and whistles...but sometimes its better to ignore all the noise and let your heart rest on the warmth and solidity of a man who can be dependable, honest and sincere...a good husband and provider for both you and your children. Those men are rare..don't let this one get away. Also, its amazing when love occurs first before attraction. I know, as good looking as my husband is to me...I wasn't all that impressed when we first met. I love him though and we have two beautiful little children together...so God knows better than we do what's best for us. Pray about it. Love in Christ, ~J~
2007-12-17 23:35:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am guessing that you are just starting the path to finding the true nature of Our Creator.
A comment you made sounded like you were just being around him just to see what it is like, leading him on, toying with him. Does that really seem like a true Christian thing to do?
If you really are not attracted to the person, may I suggest doing the right thing and do not play with his emotions. Be honest and tell him that you can be nothing more than friends.
For if you do not love/care about a person for what is inside their heart/soul then you really do not love/care about them at all.
Ultimately this sounds like one of the first challenges you are going to have in transforming your live from what you were into what you will become. Hopefully you will choose wisely and follow the correct path.
May Our Creator watch over you and your family.
I have got to add one more thing for you to think about.
Looks always fade away, true friendships and true love never does.
2007-12-17 22:57:15 · answer #4 · answered by jerrys1960 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the reverse of what you normally see in society. It's pretty common to find some babe with a goofy looking guy. Why?
Women operate on a different level than men. Woman are more perceptible to thoughts, emotions and feelings than men and this "goofy" guy usually has figured all that out and is thoughtful, caring, passionate, loving, warm,prayerful, compassionate, verbal and communicative......... everything most women want. The looks are superficial.
Personally, I've dated many models and very beautiful women - where are they now? You have to take some time and go "deep" to find out who this other person really is.
Not to throw the religion thing in here, but....... try to see then as God sees them.
p.s. Most gold and silver is covered by a lot of dirt and you have to dig to get at it.
2007-12-17 22:18:08 · answer #5 · answered by craig b 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How is this even a question? You mention the word christian how many times? Surely if you 'live it like he does' you'd be honest about the fact that you don't want anything more than a good friendship with him. Don't try and force yourself into something if you're not really into it, and think about him in this, if he likes you he wants you to like him back, don't mess around when only his feelings stand to get hurt! Think about it from his point of view, just be friends, and if at any point you want more, and he still wants something other than a friendship then go for it, but there is no hurry, perhaps for the time being you & your friend can just learn to be good to one another, thats always a great foundation for relationships and friendships.
2007-12-17 22:10:22 · answer #6 · answered by pazza_sez 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Sexual selection is always at play in human beings. Liking or not liking a person's physical appearance is not entirely your fault: It's human nature. Even babies will stare at a more symmetrical face than one that seems less proportional.
But coming personally, I would date a man based on personality, as long as they met a very minimal threshold on appearance.
You need to find a way to balance the two. If you truly love his personality and think you could use it as a way to value his looks (for instance if you find intelligence or kindness as attractive as a hairstyle or facial structure), then go for it.
We are all shallow, to some extent. Is this a problem? Only if you allow his appearance to sway you from any consideration of his personality. But it's up to you.
Best of luck!
2007-12-17 22:19:20 · answer #7 · answered by Dalarus 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The heart is a lonely hunter.
Who you find attractive or not attractive to has nothing to do with your Christian faith. Dating someone who is Christian because he is a Christian simply will not due. You need to be attractive to man who is Christian, not the other way around. This need should be address in your prayer life.
Answer: For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matt 6:21; Luke 12:34
2007-12-17 22:18:32 · answer #8 · answered by J. 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think to go out with someone there needs to be Chemistry between you both, a spark that you feel connected with this guy, everyone likes someone that looks good and beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I liked a guy with average looks and he had a very unusual monotone voice which I did not like at first but as I grew to know him more I noticed he had a wonderful smile, witty sense of humour could make me laugh and anything and had the kindest of hearts. He grew more and more attractive to me and I grew to love his voice. I like a man will be a Friend before courting, just get to know him first and see what develops. Never judge anyone solely on their religion, you might miss the guy whom has the same values and morale's as you but not necessary your faith, but is perfectly suited to you.
2007-12-17 22:37:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is also a Christian, then already you have a lot in common. It is very difficult to find a "nice guy" , so consider your decision wisely. Ask yourself if you can get beyond the exterior and love what is inside. There is no sin in saying you cannot. Let love find a way to solve your problem.
2007-12-17 22:09:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Ah so u are attracted to his being religious but you lack spiritual backbone yourself to agree to this attraction as your attraction is more on teh physical level that you are seeking.
hmm dont be shallow, the attractiveness u are looking for is mere physical and with age shall vanish. but the spiritual beauty of this man shall only grow and envelope you too into it and you two can grow together spiritually and as a family.
Amen
2007-12-17 22:53:29 · answer #11 · answered by RAKSHAS 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋