I am remarried, and have 3 sons from my first marriage. My new husband has 1 son from his first marrage. (all boys) We get along great. I had a Christmas party yesterday, and she brought 4 gift cards for the boys. Should I confront her after I have now found out that she secretly sent her "blood" grandson more gifts in the mail to his Mom's house. His son is 12 years old. Mine are 11.17.20. We've been together 2 1/2 years. Should I talk with my husband first? Should I do nothing?
2007-12-17 17:36:27 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Let her do what she's going to do and say nothing. This is not a reflection of how she feels about you. She just wants her grandson to know that he is important without causing jealousy between all of the other boys.
Maybe you could talk to the boy and ask him to not rub it in so that your boys feel left out. Otherwise, I would say it was thoughtful of her to go out of her way to not let your boys feel left out. I'm sure she meant no harm.
2007-12-17 18:01:16 · answer #1 · answered by Put on your boxing gloves boys! 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Look at her from her point of view. Your sons have only been in her life for 2 1/2 years. Her own grandson has been in her life 12 years, not to mention that he is her blood relative. Cut her some slack. I understand that you expect all of the children to be treated equally, but this isn't a perfect world. Of course she is going to have favoritism for your husbands son! Besides, it's her money, and she can do what she will with it.
2007-12-18 03:25:27 · answer #2 · answered by munkees81 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG, NO DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, as long as those gifts went to his mothers house, it is none of your business to start with, she has known that child all of his life and what and how much she gets him as long as it is sent to mom's is none of your concern, don't go making trouble where there is none, to start with i am a firm believer that you should each deal with your own parents when there is boundaries and rules to be set down, the SIL, does not set these things with her relatives, and the DIL does not go to her husbands family and start laying down the law, trouble from the start and a lot of hurt feelings, i can see that you are angry just by you using the word confront, you would be making a grave mistake to even go to your husband with this, she took care not to hurt your children's feelings by sending the other presents to his mothers house, and you need to leave this one be, and if something comes up in the future, not this type of thing, you speak to your husband and let him deal with his family, and you should deal with yours.
2007-12-18 01:54:20 · answer #3 · answered by Dale T 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
No... That was her choice to give your husband's son with his first wife an extra gift. Be happy that she included your kids at all. A lot of parent-in-law exclude the new wifes kids totally. And don't say anything to your hubby either... it isn't fair.
2007-12-18 03:04:51 · answer #4 · answered by Nimaeve 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So she spent more on the child that is her grandchild by blood... So what?
Didn't your kids get gifts from 3 sets of grandparents? Yours, their dads and your new husbands?
At least she did it with grace and class by sending them to him at his moms instead of rubbing it in your kids' face that he got more from her. I don't think there is anything wrong with what she did, and did it the right way if that was what she wanted to do. Any chat you have with her would be to thank her for the gifts your children (her step-grandchildren) recieved from her, since she wasn't obligated to get them anything. Especially at the ages of 17 and 20...
2007-12-18 02:01:35 · answer #5 · answered by Meghan 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
But... what does this have to do with you? Why is she not allowed to be Grandma and send her grandson presents?
Just let it go. Let her be her... it really isn't meant to hurt or upset anyone. I think if you bring it up it will cause unnecessary conflict and weird energy.
2007-12-18 01:49:28 · answer #6 · answered by ☆ Spharoe 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Let it go.
She did it right by not rubbing the other kids' noses in it.
Your three kids are not kin of hers, yet she did something for them.
Thank her for the presents she gave to ALL the kids.
2007-12-18 01:53:57 · answer #7 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I think it was considerate of her to be private instead of showering him with gifts in front of your other children. I don't see a problem.
2007-12-18 01:50:38 · answer #8 · answered by erica2368 3 · 6⤊ 0⤋
hmmm, did you buy equally for the son of your husband who lives with his mother, and for your own sons who live with you? how did YOUR parents handle it? i have step grandchildren whom i personally, barely know, and i do not buy for them the way i do for my "blood" grandchildren that i see frequently.
2007-12-18 01:55:15 · answer #9 · answered by elva a 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
what does this have to do with you? its none of your business if she sent more gifts to hismothers house for him or not.
2007-12-20 13:15:44 · answer #10 · answered by ladybug_78 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋