was a kid--mostly callous remarks and put-downs, or making fun of me. No parent is perfect, and I love her, but when I'm around her, I feel crazy inside, like I just hate myself. She might be verbally abusive, but I don't know if she's really that bad, or if I'm just a bad daughter (I'm 40). I need some objective opinions about what to do. She won't change--I know that.
2007-12-17 17:29:06 · 5 answers · asked by Robin 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My mother and i are estranged and have been for over 20 years. What you described is just one of the reasons. I don't trust her with my heart or my emotions. My mother is crushing. I decided I cant' have that poison in my life and she isn't in my life. I dont want you to walk away perhaps like I did (there were other issues), but you need to think about what you will allow and what you will not allow somebody to do to you. We teach people how to treat us.
Please take care.
2007-12-18 04:17:47 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No ... parents don't really change. You need to do what makes you feel good about yourself, hun. If she can't knock it off, then you just need to spend less time around her because you don't deserve that treatment.
Of course, you love her since she's your mom. So, when you are feeling up to it, call her. If you aren't, then don't feel guilty about it. If she brings it up, calmly tell her why without being haughty or mean.
If she insists on being verbally abusive, she is the one with the problem, not you.
2007-12-17 18:14:41 · answer #2 · answered by Put on your boxing gloves boys! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Family is often the first set of obstacles to overcome.
She will not change, and age will probably make things worse.
Try to put off visiting her for as long as possible... and do so only if you are willing to call her out on the carpet for her abuse.
Please use the link below to work on your emotional response to release her funk. It really works.
2007-12-17 17:36:57 · answer #3 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should talk to your mom on how you fell when she says the thing that make you feel bad about your self.then tell her that some of the thing that she says makes you hat your self. no mom wont to make her daughter fell bad about her self. your mom love you and probably has problems showing it because her mom had the some problem.
2007-12-17 18:10:13 · answer #4 · answered by Mommy J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your gut instincts sound normal and on target. Youre allowing her to doubt yourself. Limit your time with her if you have to.
2007-12-17 17:36:16 · answer #5 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋