Attention-craving kid!?

Question

I'm babysitting a kid tomorrow night (not the same one who is so monstrous, this kid is really well behaved). He's 7 and is a really good kid, he does what I tell him but he craves attention. Even if he is enthralled with something, if I leave the room (even for a few seconds) he bursts into tears and screams. When I walk back into the room he'll keep going, and he won't stop until I pick him up and tell him it's okay, I'm still right here. I can't even take a minute to go to the bathroom, he'll start wailing and crying. When I put him to bed (his bedtime is 7 ish and I'll be sitting until 10 PM), he will start crying out of nowhere. He will go to sleep and I will wait until he starts snoring (he's LOUD!) and carry him into his room and be sure he's asleep before I leave the room (if I have to take care of some chores or homework or something). But within about 10 minutes after I leave, he will WAIL. I have to go into his room and pick him up and hold him for a long time (continued)

I have to hold him for a long time or else he'll start crying again, even if I'm right there. I have asked him what makes him cry and he says he doesn't know. What should I do to help the kid fall asleep and stay asleep; he won't sleep well if I'm sitting on his bed the whole night. How can I keep him from noticing if I leave for a split second or long enough to use the bathroom?

I don't think it's separation anxiety, I've talked with his parents and some of the other sitters and it's only like this when his parents leave and I sit. He hasn't done this with any other sitter, and tomorrow will only be the third time I have babysat him. Maybe he just isn't used to me?

Answer 1

This sounds like a pretty severe case of separation anxiety, not just wanting attention. This type of anxiety is usually resolved in toddler-hood (http://www.parenting-facts-for-a-healthy-planet.com/separation-anxiety-in-toddler.html). At 7 years old, it's safe to suspect that something might be going on in this child's life to make him so anxious and feel so unsafe.

The best thing you can do is talk with him about this. Try to get him to tell you how he feels when he's left alone or what he is afraid may happen when you're gone but don't interrogate him. Just open a dialog with him.

If you have to leave the room, tell him where you're going (e.g. the bathroom) and how long you'll be gone. Give him something to do while you're gone that may help distract him.

Good luck!
Jennifer

Answer 2

I woudl think he jsut isn't used to you, but he had to get used to other sitters and didn't have this problem.

It does sound like separation anxiety. Just make sure he knows you are walking out of the room. Tell him you are going to the bathroom and will be back in less than 5 minutes. I know it sounds dumb, but 'involve' him in your leaving. Make sure he knows you are going, and when you will be back. When he goes to bed, tell him where you will be if he needs you.

Make sure you get a response from him. Making him feel like he is part of the process may help. If not, then you can try something else.

Answer 3

I think he's having you on. If he weren't used to you, he'd be hiding from you, not clinging.

Before you come, go by to see him and explain that the joke' over and he'll be acting like the medium boy (Not "big boy," those guys go to high school) he is. You won't be playing Mommy leaves Baby. Instead, you'll be bringing a game (I'm thinking Crazy 8's) that the two of you can play together.

Answer 4

he's dealing with severe separation anxiety. in all honesty... I don't know the situation or the parents. I would suggest talking to them about it and maybe suggest counseling for him. Also you may want to talk to your own mom about it. Not to be mean but if this kid gets that freaked over someone walking out of the room... children services may need to get involved.