My wife's whole family is here and has been here from Samoa for the last six months. Now they want to move here and stay with us until they find a house for themselves. They don't pay for anything or help out with the bills they run up. On top of that, they all speak english but they won't because it's their native tongue even though it's my house. I am trapped in my bedroom all day and night because of them and my wife being on their side. Any suggestions will be appreciated.
2007-12-17 14:08:51 · 7 answers · asked by mikeld2002 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Samoans are very family oriented. They are willing to go far beyond the call of duty to help their family and often expect the same from each other. Everything, weddings, funerals etc. are often faalavelave, meaning everyone pitches in. This is the Fa'aSamoa Way. My mom is white and my father Samoan, and she had a hard time with this as well. At times, it can seem intrusive but this is how it is when they are coming from the island. You should speak to your wife about how you're not accustomed to this and its uncomfortable. Also, possibly speak to your wife's Father about the issues. Going to the "head of the family" with issues is a good way to resolve this. Ohh, and also, if the woman are cleaning your house, most likely this is there way of "repaying" you letting them stay.
As for the language, they are more comfortable speaking Samoan and it's another way to keep a connection with their culture. I completely understand your frustrations, but remember they Fresh off the Boat (Joke) and have their own ways.
Good Luck
2007-12-19 16:46:33 · answer #1 · answered by Lea87 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
SIX MONTHS?
Enough is enough!
Hit them up for a % of every bill.
You need to tell them that they have until "X date" to move out or you will have them forcibly removed.
Call the INS and report them if you have to.
Actually, come to think of it... my sister got rid of her freeloading relatives by putting a lockbox on the thermostat, cutting off the cable TV and internet, putting a block on all long distance calls, and QUIT BUYING GROCERIES!
You can supplement this by sending all the upholstered furniture out to be cleaned. What else can you do to make them miserable enough to bail?
2007-12-17 22:21:51 · answer #2 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Revsuzanne's answer is the best rout to take...make it as miserable as you can. Keep pushing the envelope until they move out. As for the Mrs., you should remind her of her marriage vows, which probably included something along the line of "forsaking all others before you".
2007-12-17 22:29:11 · answer #3 · answered by Chow Doctor 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kindly tell them that you cannot afford to support all of them. First explain it to your wife. You should not feel uncomfortable in your own home (and she should certainly understand that!). Six months is more than generous! Good Luck...and Merry Christmas!
2007-12-17 22:20:24 · answer #4 · answered by ruth r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where are your balls dude? Time to get em out and wear the pants in your family!
Tell them you have been kind enough long enough! And if the wife doesn't like it, tell her she is free to go out the door with them!!
So Sorry! Good Luck!!!
2007-12-17 22:15:24 · answer #5 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speak up! you have no choice, otherwise you will be mad soon and will not be able to resolve in civilized manner.
What are you afraid of?
2007-12-17 22:20:22 · answer #6 · answered by cloud7 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like she married you to get her family to America. Divorce. You have to cut your loses
2007-12-17 22:44:21 · answer #7 · answered by punisher c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋