Should i dump him?

Question

I just found out my 50 year old boyfriend filed for bankruptcy and checked himself into a mental hospital a few years ago. He has never said anything about this.

Answer 1

Why should U dump him? My gut instinct says "No, don't dump him." Then, the questions come out:
+How did U find out?
+Did he tell U, or did someone else tell U, someone close to him (like a friend or a relative)? If he freely told U, he didn't hide anything from you, so there is no need to dump him over this information. If U coaxed it out of him, maybe U should reassess your goals in this relationship & if U R right for each other. If it just came up, that he can't afford "such-and-such" item now due to his recent bankruptcy, or "he can't deal with it anymore" which lead to revealing the mental hospital visit, then help him out. Find out what U can do for him.

Someone else mentioned that checking into the mental hospital is probably related to the bankruptcy; I wouldn't doubt it. After 20 years in the Navy & living paycheck-to-paycheck trying to make $10 pay $20 worth of bills is quite stressful.

I say, look at your relationship & where U want it to go from here. If he has been honest with U, then why punish him for past mistakes, that occurred before he even met U? Offer your support (emotionally, not monetarily) and do what's right.

Best of luck to U (and him)! Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays!

Answer 2

He may not have told you because he's embarrassed about it and moved on. Certainly ask him about it, but be prepared to be asked who told you. He could well view the way you found out as an invasion of privacy by the person who told you.

There are many reasons people become bankrupt and not every one of them is fully their fault. If you own a business that is hit hard during bad financial times you may need to file for bankruptcy. Not entirely the fault of the bankrupt that people could no longer spend what was required to keep his business afloat.

The same can be said for checking into a mental hospital. If it was soon after the bankruptcy the two could well be linked with the bankruptcy causing a breakdown.

Hear him out. Let him know you want an honest relationship and that if he's honest with you, then you'll at least properly consider your reaction

Answer 3

Depends on how long you have been together and how many skeletons you have hiding in your closet. Checking yourself into a mental hospital could possibly be due to stress...I'm thinking since he has filed bankruptcy in the past he has definitely experienced stress just like most of us do. It doesn't neccessarily mean that he is "mental". Maybe he was too embarrassed to tell you about these two facts. It's not something that would come up in everyday conversation...in fact, it may not be something that would come up for years...Talk to him before you make any rash decisions. And most importantly...DO YOU LOVE HIM?

Answer 4

Why would you dump him for that? People go through hard times. At least he got help. He never said anything out of fear that you would judge him unfairly, which is what you've just done. So guess you proved him right for holding back that info. If he's your boyfriend you must see something good in him. Maybe he should dump you, cause he probably needs someone more supportive and less judgemental.

Answer 5

times were tough a few years ago he may have gotten in to deep and bankruptcy was the only way out and checking himself in may have been a way to deal with it.Or get a P.I. and have his background checked he may be hiding other stuff and be a phys-co.in that case id dump him and who knows if you not that serious dump him to avoid his baggage

Answer 6

Ask him and depending on what he says then you need to dump him.

Answer 7

okay he is already keeping these things secret then you should dump him . this is something that should not be tolerated . good luck and merry christmas .

Answer 8

if he is keeping secrets from you, of course you should dump him

Answer 9

It's time to move on!

Answer 10

no..