i dated a guy for 2 years in the navy. i knew he had a son by another woman which was fine. In may of 2007 he got deployed and before he did he went and married the mother of his child in april ( I DIDNT KNOW). He came back from deploymant (MARRIED) and got me pregnant. when i told him i was he came out and told me everything, he just told her and she was mad at first but know she dont care?!? He is living in hawaii know with her and there son. Is there anything that can be done? he did commit adultry right? left me here hanging?? he want s to be our sons life and is gunna pay childs support, but i am furious how easily he got away with that!!
2007-12-17 13:39:36 · 10 answers · asked by cici 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
Why would you want something done to him for his actions in commiting adultery? His wife has worked thru these issues or perhaps just accepted her husbands actions and therefore has moved on. It's high time you accept responsibility for your actions as well. We can't blame another human being for the consequences we are dealt, by our own actions. In the Military Adultery is not a crime, and getting you pregnant is also not a crime.
There are no laws that will find him guilty of anything and in reality he has stated he wants to be a part of his childs life and will be there financially for his child as well. Be greatful of that. Some men choose not to step up the plate and take responsibility. Trust me when I say he has gotten away with nothing. Be very appreciative that you aren't married to him and the roles between you and his wife aren't reversed. Just remember "Whatever goes around, comes around}.
Let go of the revengful attitude and move twords forgiveness. Forgiveness of him and more importantly yourself. Remember you have a beautiful baby now and your ex is still his father......Good Luck to you! {{{hugs}}}
2007-12-17 14:04:05 · answer #1 · answered by spiritbodynsoul 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
So you have a boyfriend that got another girl pregnant before you two started, he married her didn't tell you and then got you pregnant. He is going to pay child support but you want revenge because of what he did. Yes you can report him for a violation of the UCMJ and he may be fined, have stripes taken away or even court martialed and kicked out. Those things will off course adversely impact his ability to pay child support and could hurt your child but you would get your revenge. Was what he did wrong-Yes but you knew the type person he was when you two dated before he left (already had a child by another woman), he told her but they stayed together and now you're going for the revenge. Doing it or not is your choice but sooner or later you are going to have to let go of the revenge and get over it.
2007-12-17 21:53:39 · answer #2 · answered by GunnyC 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
For you to PROVE that this man committed adultery, you have to be able to PROVE that this child is indeed his. That's the only way. Military doesn't do anything without proof. Period.
The only other PROOF is by someone catching him in the act of committing adultery.
Take him to court, have the paternity test done---because that will be required--and get the child support. Then move on with your life.
2007-12-17 23:48:59 · answer #3 · answered by Jennifer S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you said that you were dating, you can only commit adultery if you and him were married and he did something with someone else while you were married, so if you were dating NO he was just cheating, but he is still a loser, any woman that will stay faithful of a service member while they are deployed is a gift from god and should be taken care of not taken advantage of!
2007-12-17 21:48:18 · answer #4 · answered by sigsauer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Adultery, while against UCMJ, is NOT going to be pursued unless it directly negatively impacted Operational readiness.
His command can choose to do nothing about it, and in fact probably will NOT do anything about it.
your only recourse is a legal court order forcing him to pay Child support. Also, make sure that he is also required to list the child in DEERS so that your son will be eligible for Medical insurance( and make him pay for Dental, too!)
2007-12-18 08:14:14 · answer #5 · answered by Mrsjvb 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You screwed around with a married man. What did you think this guy was going to do, leave his WIFE and stay with you. Be happy that you will be getting support from the man. This sounds like something that you should have thought of before you hit the sack with this loser.
2007-12-17 21:46:34 · answer #6 · answered by HAGAR!!! 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
What do you expect he's in the navy. Not that all navy men are assholes just the ones I know at least. I'm sure there are some that are really in it to serve their country and not just get benifits to pay for their college and the fact that they are on a boat a thousand miles away from danger.
Friend: Oh so your joining the Marines?
Me: Yeah this country has been my home for as long as I can rememeber so I decided to give something back, why did you join the Navy and not the Marines anyway?.
Friend: Ohh... Well I joined the Navy cuz I actually value my life.
Me: Ah...
2007-12-17 21:47:00 · answer #7 · answered by Adeptus Astartes 5 · 1⤊ 4⤋
well,since your in the navy and this guy already had a chick he was messin with,theres pretty much nothin you can do because all he was thinking was"man,i was such an idiot for joining this navy,ah well,gonna die anyway might as well mess up a couple ladies while im here".
2007-12-17 21:49:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Where there are only adults what else can one expect other than adultery?
2007-12-18 12:35:50 · answer #9 · answered by eematters 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Go to your navy chaplain - he or she will best know what options you have and it will be a confidential conversation.
Good luck!
2007-12-17 21:44:50 · answer #10 · answered by Fast Eddie B 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋