Marriage and Divorce?

Question

I have some question that have been bothering me. Goodness where do I start.
I am a divorced mother with a son. I recently was divorced from my husband who was married once before me. So that makes me wonder if my marriage was legal to began with in God's eyes. Or was I just committing adultery?
I am a christian and my exhusband agnostic. I'm not sure if I knew this before we was married. I was young, he is almost 7 years older than I am. I tried to stay married to him. I stayed married for 7 years seperated for almost 3 before the divorce. So a total of alomost 10 years.
My marriage was terrible we fought hard all the time. I was mentally and physically abused. My son seen all of this.
My husband didn't have marriage relations with me. I tried to talk to him about it, nothing worked. I tried telling him I need to feel like he cared.
When went to sleep in the same bed he had his own cover and I had mine. I wasn't allowed to get close to him no hugging, nothing. I had to stay on my side of the bed. So I just started sleeping on the couch.
I messed up and found confort in another mans arms. I am not proud of it. I'm not sure if my exhusband cheat physically. He would tell me all the women he wanted to sleep with and made crude comments about them. Like what he would do to them.
What I am asking is I found someone who is great to me and my son. We go to church and are talking about getting married. The exhusband doen't have much to do with our son. He just wants to aggervate me.
I have read some of the bible and I find where I am allowed to get remarried without comminting adultery.
I don't want to send my furture husband to hell or myself because I remarried. Can you help me with is concern I have?
Thank you so much for your time,
Shannon

Answer 1

First of all you must go to God in prayer and ask Him to forgive you and you must mean it! Ask God to cleans you from all unrighteousness through Jesus Christ so that you can be made whole once again. That will mend your relationship with God and open up the pathway for the Holy Spirit to comfort and advise you during this time. Then you have to forgive yourself, which is very important because if you don't you will carry all of your anguish and frustration from your previous marriage into this one. Next realize that God's word is the best gage as to whom you should or should not marry. The bible say's how can two walk accept they agree? The answer is it is impossible. Just as one side falls in a tug of war so does one get hurt when two people never agreed in the first place. I don't intend to inflict any more pain upon you but the truth is, your previous marriage was doomed before you even walked down the isle. A man who does not really know God and does not love God will never obey Him and love you as much as Christ loved the church. DO NOT allow your past hurt to hurt past your present. Take all you have learned and lean, trust, and rely upon God through His word to lead you from this point forward. Your divorce will not discount you from your place in heaven if you seek God to cleanse you of any wrongdoing. Additionally, your possible marriage will have a better chance of surviving if you trust God (again through His word the bible) to bring it about. Ask yourself "Does this man believe in God the way I do?" "Does he believe that Jesus Christ is the Savior of all?” If you are convinced that he does believe all of those things, take the time, LOTS OF TIME, to closely observe his walk with The Lord so that you know whether or not he will obey God and love you as Christ loved the church (remember Christ died for the church). And again in all things, take your prayers, desires, and concerns to God FIRST, ask Him to show you the way, and wait as long as it takes upon His answer. I hope this helps.

Answer 2

First, a correction on Giuseppi's misinformation:

I Cor 7:25: Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy. Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are. Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.

St. Paul does not say that the divorced may remarry. Marriage is ONLY for the unmarried.

Matt 19: "I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."

However, marriage is more than a ceremony or legal document: It is a solemn promise made by both partners before God to "have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness or in health, as long as you both shall live."

The Catholic Church, which follows Jesus in outlawing divorce, has established marriage tribunals that investigate the facts of a marriage. Unles you both made a heartfelt marriage promise, you were cohabiting rather than married, and you are morally free to enter a genuine marriage.

Cheers,
Bruce

Answer 3

Okay, IF this is a real question, you need to get some couseling before you commit to anyone. The fact that you stayed with a man who mentally and physically abused you for 7 years shows that you don't really care about yourself, or you would have left him long ago. And, if he was able to fool you into thinking he was someone who would be a good husband and provider, other people can and will, too. You need to understand why you allowed yourself to be treated the way you were treated for so long before you marry anyone else. Go ahead and keep the boyfriend around, but don't make any serious commitments until you take care of your personal "stuff."

)O(

Answer 4

I am not going to tell you what you should have done. That is between you and God. I am not your Judge nor do I have the right to be. What you have done is done and there is nothing that you can do about it. All that you can do is go on and go forward. I want to make this absolutely clear. irregardless of what you have done in your past God Loves you.

REmarriage does not send anyone to hell! I do not know where you got that from but it was not from the Bible.

The only thing that will send a person to hell and the only thing that will keep a person out of hell is what they choose to do with Jesus Christ. It is very simple. Deny Him and reject him and then you are without hope. Without Christ you will go to hell and spend eternity trying to pay a sin debt that you will never be able to pay.
With Christ regardless of what you have done in the past, you will goto heaven because he has paid your sin debt.

What shall I do with Jesus Christ? that is the question you need to be asking.

Answer 5

Yes, because there is no "Singles, Dating and Breaking Up" section like they have for "Marriage and Divorce". This gives people the false idea that if you just date, things are good...whereas if you marry you're always one step away from divorce.

Answer 6

It sounds like you've been thru a lot. I'm sorry to hear that.

Although you've given some details in your question you didn't provide enough to figure out how you would fit into the Biblical rules for marriage, divorce and remarriage.

Even when divorce is sin, its not the unpardonable sin.

So yes there is a way to deal with your situation in a Biblical way.

If you'd like to talk about it offline, let me know.

This is not type of discussion most people want to have in public.

Let me know how to reach you.

God Bless,

Pastor Art

Answer 7

If you are truly focused on this relationship, seek trained counselors to guide you. They can be secular or from your church or a combination of both. They will give the best advise. Just be ready to receive it.

From personal experience, I would wait until you know you are healed from the apparently horrific relationship you've been through. If you don't, you are going to bring out some old emotions into your new relationship.

Answer 8

The Bible gives distressed marriage partners a few outs...that is, grounds for divorce...even though he hates divorce. It does not say that the divorced person may remarry. I honestly don't know what you should do, except pray. And make sure you're putting God above your desire for a husband. No matter what his answer is, it will be best for you, and he will keep you and your son safe in his arms.

God bless. :)

Answer 9

God hates divorce but you did not describe a marriage but only God knows your heart and if it was a marriage. If you are a born again Christian pray to God and ask His direction. When you pray ask God if you get married by name to the man you described. If you are to get married God will give you peace in your heart. Know that God can forgive any sin except rejecting Jesus as Lord.

Answer 10

yes, you can remarry, (can't remember the reference right now) but Paul said "if thou marry thou hast not sinned" referring to divorced people.

If your future husband goes to Hell, it will be of his own doing not because of a marriage to you.