Ok I'm having a hard time...?

Question

ok I feel like I am not doing a very good job listening to my mom. Me and my mom always get into fights and I feel guilty when she is making a "speech"about how I am not good to her. My brother, ok, he bothers me and i yell at him. then i get into trouble and my mom says i annoy her to and that she doesnt yell at me. I need advice on how to change. I have tried many times but i think im just not getting it. I tried once then my brother got on my nerves like seriously!! then i get in trouble. Im moving and i will try to change my life. But i need advice right now... Could u help me????

Answer 1

"ok I feel like I am not doing a very good job listening to my mom." First, try getting your mother to not yell (if she does) during her speeches. Usually that shuts off my attention if someone is yelling.

"Me and my mom always get into fights and I feel guilty when she is making a "speech"about how I am not good to her."
Changing is hard for a lot of people, me especially. Try asking what your mother wants you to change. If you ABSOLUTELY do not feel you can do it, tell her and try to reach a compromise.

"My brother, ok, he bothers me and i yell at him."
Most siblings get on each others nerves. Basically just relax. Ask him politely to stop bothering you. If he doesnt, and its REALLY annoying, ask your mom to tell him to stop. Yelling doesnt really work in any situation.

"then i get into trouble and my mom says i annoy her to and that she doesnt yell at me."
That, in my opinion, is kind of rude of your mother. If it offends you, you should say something. In a respectful way of course.

"I need advice on how to change. I have tried many times but i think im just not getting it. I tried once then my brother got on my nerves like seriously!! then i get in trouble. Im moving and i will try to change my life. But i need advice right now... Could u help me????"

Basically I gave you all I can think about. Umm...try your best to keep your cool. I think its a very important skill to learn. My sister says I annoy her but the thing is she never addresses what I do "wrong". I try to ask her but she has no idea what it is. Attempt to find out what it is that is bothering you and try to find ways to ask your brother to stop. Yelling at him makes him think he is "winning". If he doesn't listen, try figuring out ways to distract from him. Say he laughs in an obnoxious way. Listen to music you like to block it out. If there is nothing you can do, talk to your mom and say "I know this might sound a little strange but ________ is starting to annoy me when he does __________. I am trying not to yell and I am trying to not let it bother me a lot but it is REALLY bothering me. Could you please tell him to stop?"

I believe if your mother is shown respect by the way you act, she will respect you and try to get your brother to tone it down.


Good luck in your move.

Answer 2

Good on you for being so earnest in trying to do the right thing. You know I bet if you actually printed your question out and showed it to your Mom she'd really appreciate that you were trying so hard, even though you weren't necessarily doing that well ;) It is hard when people really get on your nerves and learning to deal with it takes time. Make sure you give yourself enough space, away from your brother when you can. Putting yourself in his face all the time means arguments are bound to happen. Perhaps next time he really bothers you, you could try saying "you are really annoying me right now but I'm trying to not lose it for Mom's sake - us fighting all the time is not fair on her". Take the attention off yourself and try and think of it more like you're helping your Mom. Good luck!

Answer 3

That is so mature of you to admit you need help-Congrats to you!The best thing you can do when you feel angery/annoyed is to take a deep breath in and then let it out and count to 10 and if that doesn't make you feel calm walk away from the problem.I hope this helps you,maybe discuss this with a school counselor,it might be more beneficial to find out why you are so angry.Make sure you spend some time with your mom to tell her how you feel about things and tell her how much you love her and appreciate her!good luck:) Merry Christmas!

Answer 4

you need to understand that, how you treat people will be how they treat you. you should show your family more respect. the best way to work this out is to spend time with your mom. help her with a few things around the house, sit and talk with her. you and your mom should be close. in this way, you can talk things over with her. no' arguing, just talk. I do think she can tell you what the problem is. I can tell from the trouble you are having, that you are young, and are going threw a lot of changes. this could be causing a lot of your problems. your mom, has went thew this when she was young, that is why I know she can help you. talk to her, tell her your problems. you may find she had the same kind of problems at your age. and she will understand what you are going threw. Take Care

Answer 5

Sounds like the basis of the matter, as far as your mom is concerned, is that you are not holding up your end of things and you are old enough to know better.

Holding up your end of things is not hard... at worst case, you have to organize yourself and make a schedule of some sort.
All you have to do is go to school, make good grades, clean up after yourself, do whatever other chores are asked of you, and basically stay out of trouble. That is not a lot to ask considering your mom works hard to house, feed and clothe you. Try helping her out. It takes a lot less effort to actually do these things than it takes to get out of it.

Your brother will probably do his best to yank your chains and make you get upset... that is his nature. The only thing you can control is your response.

"Look, if you are going to act that way, I don't care to put up with you! I will only be around you if you behave and be nice." Then walk away... go to your room or go for a walk around the block to blow off the stress. If you refuse to get baited into their game, he will eventually get the idea.

Answer 6

My first question is, how old are you? If you are under the age of 18, I would suggest that you not move, and work things out with your family. If you are over 18, you should still try to work it out, and figure out what your brother is doing that upsets you so. Although, I know it's easier said than done, but don't react when your brother is bothering you. Usually, someone will continue to bug you when they know they are getting to you. When they don't get a rise out of you, it's no longer fun to them, and they stop. Work things out with your brother, and sounds like things with mom will get better.

Answer 7

You sound young, this is normal. You are trying and that is a start. Being young is really the toughest part of life I think. It will get better, I promise. Talk to your Mom, tell her you know that you sometimes don't listen and that you love her and you are trying.

Good luck.

Answer 8

Just keep in mind that this is your family and you owe them all of your respect. You give respect you get respect. No matter WHAT your mom and brother could be like. My mom alllllllways got on my nerves. All the time. but then i realized no matter how much i dislike her, she's still my mom, and i should respect her at all times. If only you can see the difference in our relationship now....

Answer 9

Well, of course, the best advice is to do what you are doing...grow up, and seek ways to grow and mature along the way! Seeking to do the right thing is half the battle.

For the immediate 'now,' the very best advice I can give you is to THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK OR ACT. Count to ten before you say or do anything...Say it to yourself (silently, in your head) and imagine how it will sound out loud to the other person.

Good luck!

Answer 10

Your life is the same as mine.
My brother seriously pisses me off!
But it sounds to me like your brother is the reason for all this family fighting.
I got my brother to leave me alone by finding dirt on him,and using it against him,or using something I have,to keep him in line.
Like,now that I can drive.I can give him rides.If he pisses me
off,then looks like he gets no rides.
Simple.
But i'm not sure how you could stop fighting with your mom.
Cause i'm going through the same thing.