I just wanna say I'm usually a hardened sceptic of supernatural mumbo jumbo. Lately, however, after having recently moved into an abandoned, isolated farmyard within a mysterious stone circle on Bodmin Moor, atop the site of a former ninth century druid graveyard, medieval devil worshipping settlement and early Victorian mental institution, I have awoken sluggishly every morning to find myself stripped naked, with my hands and feet bound to the bedposts with bloody bandages, gaping wounds across my face, and ceiling high, blood stained scrawlings of "Suck Beelzebub's hate milk" and "Kill kill whore of Lucifer for the Winter Solstice is all but 'pon us for to shatter souls 'twixt her icy fist!"
We've also been finding a number of fetid animal carcasses, contorted into horrifyingly buckled and twisted representations of Satan's image, laid in a pentagon around the farmyard perimeter.
My wife puts this down to the stress of moving and new house noises. What do you think?
Cheers x
2007-12-17 13:00:44 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Hi man! That was one sh*t hot house warming party round your place! How do you feel this morning? Good laugh, eh, tying you to the bed and shaving your eyebrows off when you passed out? Wicked!! Sorry about the dead goats and stuff - I would never have driven your tractor around if I hadn't been out of my skull. The party's at my place next solstice. Bring some more of those little red speckled mushrooms, OK?
PS: sorry about writing on your ceiling with your wife's lipstick.
2007-12-17 13:34:14 · answer #1 · answered by Thornberry 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
WOW! Congratulations. That was excellent. You have a very vivid imagination and if you wrote a book it would probably be made into a movie.
Where did you get all the gory details? If I were you I would find yourself an agent and get him to push this to a movie company.
You have one of best imaginations I have heard in a long time.
Happy Christmas
2007-12-17 21:08:23 · answer #2 · answered by Maureen S 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have a wild imagination and you have been watching too many horror movies. Many you should be sending some of the things you write to Hollywood, not YA.
2007-12-17 21:21:15 · answer #3 · answered by Seng Kim T 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well in my opinion, the locals dont much like you. lol change the locks and install some security camera's.
i had some strange goings on in my house, and was taking some pictures, and found some weird things in some of them. try taking lots of pictures with a digital camera and see what comes up.
2007-12-17 21:12:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your wife is right. So far, nothing really bad happened.
If it gets much worse (like you get unexpected and frequent visits from bible sellers), join the local club of campanologists.
Have a nice day.
2007-12-17 23:46:05 · answer #5 · answered by kwistenbiebel 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the previously stated
"This is a ridiculous way to gain 2 points"
2007-12-17 21:16:37 · answer #6 · answered by Educating the uneducated 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have already asked this once under a
different heading.
There are no such things as ghosts but yes
there are such beings as demons.
Get your life right with God, Get your house blessed and anointed with oil.
God bless.
2007-12-17 21:05:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
You need to call pest control. I had those things happen when I moved into a new house ... turns out to be rats.
2007-12-17 21:08:25 · answer #8 · answered by Equinox 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
if you think you have a prob call the local priest or vicar to bless the house
2007-12-17 21:08:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Merry Christmas. You are such a joker.
2007-12-17 21:13:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋