I have a freind with a military girl freind, who served in iraq, and . . .?

Question

and, well, we don't know. this is kind of a hypothetical. but answer anyway -

suppose my freind had a gf who just came home from iraq, and was thinking of asking her if she was faithfull the entire time she was away (a bit more than a year, never technically in "combat", and for a period certainly under fire), but was admonished by military wives he was freinds with. presuming that pregnancy and vd are not in issue - which of the following reasons are good, which are just bogus, and why?

1. asking her disrespects her and her service.

2. she was facing life and death situations, and sometimes people under that stress need to get laid. just a fact of life.

3. whatever guy she may or may not have been with was facing the same situation. think about moral. support the troops and get over your possessiveness under this extraordinary circumstance.

4. she's home. she's in one piece. what are you worried about?

5. it was a year and a half for crying out loud!

6. Its inpolite. Women have been accepting their husbands home for time immemorial without asking, even with knowledge that many service men get with prostitutes in those hard times. When she was serving, she may have needed to releive some stress the old fashioned way, and now its your turn to buck up. and at least it wasn’t probably with a call girl, but another gi.

Answer 1

I seriously do not think he should ask this question.....you might as well come out and accuse her of cheating because that is what the question is.

Answer 2

Believe it or not, more women are faithful during deployments than men. Don't ask if she was unfaithful because that disrespects ANYBODY. No matter how you say it, it comes across as accusatory. It has nothing to do with her service (I'm an eight year vet) By the way, people don't automatically get dishonorable discharges for getting caught. Yes, they will get charged, but almost all the time they just get NJP or office hours and they are still eligible for an honorable discharge. Dishonorable is reserved for people who commit felonies in the line of duty and serve brig sentences.

Answer 3

hmm...this is an interesting question...im not sure which answers given id choose but my opinion is that there should not be "asking"...if she did and brings it up...feel free to discuss...otherwise i think she deserves the benefit of the doubt...is it any more or less likely that being away under those conditions might have made her become unfaithful?...maybe...maybe not...probably depends on the woman...but she could just as easily be sleeping around around town when shes home if shes the type to do so. Either way...i think it should be her responsibility to bring it up if there is anything to bring up..unless there is obvious evidence otherwise...but to just question because of his own insecurity...or because he knows what he thought or might have done in her absence doesnt qualify a good enough reason to question her morals and behavior. Im not sure if that answers your question...sorry.

Answer 4

You sound like a person who already fears he knows one answer but is trying to talk himself out of asking the question that will "confirm" it all. All the reasons you cited are excellent reasons for NOT asking the question, but there is one compelling reason FOR asking the question that trumps all others: she's your lady, and proceeding forward with pre-war plans demands it. All of those reasons you cited could be mitigating factors should you hear the worst of all possible news...you're not obligated to respond in any certain way other than consistent with whatever you can live with. But from a platform of honesty, everything is possible. Good luck.

Answer 5

the others are ignorant responses and even though good reasoning not what would be wanted to hear

#6

thats a hard topic its hard to be faithfull that long for some people but it depends on the person
i think id be able to not cheat on someone but ive neevr been in that situation

and also if she asked him did he cheat on her

Answer 6

He needs to weigh his options and think about it before he brings it up. What if she says "Yes, I was unfaithful"...now he knows and what good will it do him now? Will he forgive and forget or will he not be able to live with it. Dude needs to think about how he will handle it if she says yes, and if she wasn't unfaithful she might suspect him of being so after hearing that question........As for you, STAY OUT OF IT!

Answer 7

Why even ask? In reality, a relationship is supposed to be based on love AND TRUST......I'd let it go and not even give it another thought.

Answer 8

if it happens in a different town,state or country it doesnt matter as long as it was with people you dont know

Answer 9

Of course she was bangin someone else. It doesnt matter if you ask her or not, shes gonna lie. So just know that she did.

Answer 10

Its your friends problem not yours. Unless of course you just like to stir up the pot.