She lets them run all over her, and I have a hard time dealing with it. She dosent want this beahavior, but she was in a abusive relationship (with the boys' father) prior to meeting me. I think she equates punishment with anger and abuse. I just expect the kids to show some respect for her, and to do what they are told. Am I being unreasonable?
2007-12-17 09:24:12 · 9 answers · asked by Burninmike 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
DO NOT DATE WOMEN WITH CHILDREN.
Find yourself a good woman without the baggage. Save yourself and the children the heartbreak that is coming your way.
2007-12-17 09:45:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
At the restaurant where I work,we do "kids eat free" on Sundays and there are usually a ton of people coming from church. And because of this, there are pretty much always some annoying screaming kids on Sundays. But one particular time that it was really bad was a few weeks ago. This large church group came in, and there were probably about 10 adults and close to the same number of children. The adults sat there chatting for probably about two hours while the kids ran around. And it wasn't just around their table either. Some of the kids were literally running through the whole restaurant. One of the managers actually went right up to the kids and told them to stop running, so you know it has to be bad for that to happen - managers usually would not do that in fear of offending the parents and being accused of "trying to discipline someone else's child". But yeah...all the adults were oblivious and they just sat there drinking coffee while the kids ran amok. They didn't attempt to control the kids at all and make them stay seated. Or they could have just left the restaurant after they had been sitting around for so long after everyone was done eating, since the kids were obviously bored and restless. And then, after they finally did leave, they left a HUGE mess. They had pushed together a bunch of tables, and there were smashed crackers and a bunch of other food thrown all over the floor, and several drinks had been spilled.
2016-04-10 04:47:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all, but as a person that has been in your position before, it is a tough one. I would say it depends on how long you guys have been together. I know it is annoying, but if you haven't been together that long then you can't say much.
To make kids behave, you don't have to use physical violence. She needs to put them in time outs, take toys away, get down on their level. Depending on how old they are she could just tell them that it really hurts her that they don't listen to her. You might be suprised how much these work. Also, think about a reward chart for when they are good. If one sees the other getting prizes for behaving they might want to start too. Try and remember it isn't the kids fault though. If they started their lives in an abusive relationship it is not going to be easy, especially if they have the ability to make their mom feel guilty about it. Good Luck, I know it is tough, but if you really care about her, stick with it!!
2007-12-17 09:35:40 · answer #3 · answered by arachelle008 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you have a good relationship with the kids to where they respect u.. talk to them.. they will listen..it may take some time but they will..AND talk to the mom - help her see she needs to regain the respect of her children..offer suggestions that may help. She doesn't want to deal with the kids as she should because she may view this as abuse towards them and not motherly love and discipline..
You are NOT unreasonable..
at all..
2007-12-17 11:43:05 · answer #4 · answered by Quasi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not! I would try talking to her first and tell her your concerns. Don't say things to her as "you" because she could take offense to it. Instead, try "I feel" so it sounds like you aren't placing blame on her. Give her some suggestions that she could do with them. I would stick it out as long as you can but if it looks like she isn't working that hard on it and you are still concerned about it, maybe you need to spend some time away from her to get her to realize that you mean business! Make sense??
2007-12-17 09:29:20 · answer #5 · answered by dyna4503 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
In a sense you are being unreasonable. You mentioned her previous abusive relationship and surely you must realize that the children have learned from the behaviours that they have witnessed. They were victims too, and will require patience in your efforts to change their behaviours.
2007-12-17 09:32:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sign up for a parenting class together. Our community offers them and even has a side room for the kids. You may not need it - but pretend you do.
2007-12-17 09:28:39 · answer #7 · answered by lillilou 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Try to find a girlfriend that doesn't come with baggage
2007-12-17 11:28:39 · answer #8 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Smack them silly!
2007-12-17 09:33:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 5⤋