Would you stay?
2007-12-17 08:20:48 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I mean I definately love him. We've talked about it. We're getting a little older now...he will be 34 and I'm pushing 30 (iwe, ha) We've just had financial problems and been fighting alot...
2007-12-17 08:28:18 · update #1
I waited 5 years and finally got one...married for almost 2 months! If the relationship is promising, then you should stay.
2007-12-17 08:23:52 · answer #1 · answered by WT 4 · 7⤊ 0⤋
It's all about personal preference. Some girls would stay, some wouldn't. You have to talk to him and see if the two of you are on the same page.
I used to work with a woman who had been with the same man for over 30 years. They were both extremely happy and had two boys together. They just got married last year.
2007-12-17 16:25:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
That truely depends. I believe that 3 years is long enough. (of course depending on the money situation). I told my boyfriend if he didn't ask after three years I'd just as soon move on. In my opinion if after three years of being my boyfriend you can't tie the knot and make the commitment to me, you probably never will.
But to each is own. If you love him and are willing to look past the ring, wedding, commitment and all the things that come along with being husband and wife, that's your choice.
Good luck either way! Remember- these "answers" are just opinions!!!
2007-12-17 16:41:45 · answer #3 · answered by lindsiekaye 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I would sit down and have a heart to heart with him. If you truely love him and he loves you, you should be able to be honest with one another.
Tell him how much marriage means to you. Tell him it hurts you that after 4 years he hasnt popped the question yet. Ask him what is in his plans for the future. If he does plan to marry you, then dont pressure him any more. Just let him know how much it would mean to you to have a ring on your finger then wait it out.
But if he avoids you question, gets angry or genuinely cant answer, then maybe there is your answer. Time to move on. Maybe you could just tell him that as marriage means a lot to you, and obviously not to him, that you are going to take a break. you need to do this for yourself to see if you can go on living with him, but not having him commit to you.
This might be enough to shock him into realising how much it actually does mean to you.
I had this conversation with my boyfriend. He has always said I am the one for him, and he planned on marrying me right from the start, but after 3 and a half years and no sign of anything concrete, I started doubting him. I sat him down and told him how much it was hurting me that he had not made any kind of formal committment to me. He was quite shocked and suprised to realise I was feeling this way. I then left it at that and on our 4 year anniversary, he proposed to me and then we went ring shopping.
Dont give up hope. There are many reasons men dont propose. Some just procrastinate and dont get around to it. Some are trying to save for a ring, and a few just dont feel ready or dont want marriage.
You say you love him, then you at least owe it to him to have this conversation with him. And after 4 years he owes it to you to give you a straight answer. If he still wont commit to you, then maybe it is time for you to get out on your own and give yourself a chance to meet a man who will fullfill your dreams of marriage.
Good luck with it all. xxx
2007-12-17 16:37:03 · answer #4 · answered by bluegirl6 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I loved the person, and felt we had a future. If I though that was just "it" and marriage was important to me, I'd be thinking about whether i wanted to stay in that relationship.
Also have you thought of the reasons why your partner hasn't asked you to marry them? It may not be that they don't want to spend the rest of their life with you, they might just see marriage as a piece of paper, or they may not be sure what your reaction would be. Why don't you ask first?
2007-12-17 16:32:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are fighting a lot and have had financial problems and still no ring after four years, I would leave. I seriously doubt he has any serious intention of proposing or marrying you. If he did, he would have done it by now.
2007-12-18 13:52:51 · answer #6 · answered by mynxr 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yep...as of february first we will have been together NINE years, and I don't have a ring...but I'm only 24, and I just finsihed my master's degree in June, which was important for both of us. I know it's coming soon, though. If I didn't, I wouldn't still be here.
don't let others discourage you. what's the rush? 30 IS NOT OLD. As long as you two have talked about marriage, and you both see it in the cards for the two of you, just relax and enjoy your relationship!
2007-12-17 23:25:26 · answer #7 · answered by jennyvee 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would not leave if i knew i could see myself with him or he gave me a little hope that soon he wanted to marry. You should ask him if he will ever want to marry and have kids. Maybe he has different plans than you do. Talk to him, tell him how you feel that will be the only way you could answer your question. Good Luck
2007-12-17 16:25:40 · answer #8 · answered by Binky :-) 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If I wanted to get married, I wouldn't wait any longer than a year or two. If by then the other person still wasn't "ready" for marriage, I'd most certainly be looking elsewhere.
2007-12-17 18:06:36 · answer #9 · answered by Sandy Ego 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've been with my husband for 8 years now and we just got married in August. If it's in the future, then yes. If you two have spoken about it and are definitely looking to get married one day, then don't rush it--it makes it even more special and worthwhile when it happens.
2007-12-17 16:48:57 · answer #10 · answered by CorpCityGrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋