okay so i like this guy but there is about an 4 year age difference and i really like him and he really likes me but see he is older and expects to get alot from a girl but i am not ready to give him most of those things.......and i have told him that am not comfortable going all the way with him bc of the age difference.......and he said that he understands but yet i am not sure that he does.....i mean we know alot about each other and everything but the whole age difference thing is holding me back.......i am so confused on what to do.....i know that i have really stronge feelings about him and i know that he really likes me to but....i don't know!!!! see if i don't go for it then i will regret it and if i do go for it then there is a 50% chamce that i will regret it too. like if i do decide to go all the way with him after we have been together for a while then i get preg. then i will regret that too! i am so confused....HELP!
2007-12-17 07:20:17 · 22 answers · asked by Hottie 101 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
beware of older guys, alot of them have STD's. if you wanna chat about this further, shoot me an e-mail ;)
2007-12-17 07:22:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
look. first you need to slow down!! that made me dizzy how you just rambled on up there. lol. If you're not ready for the type of commitment he is, then there's no question. Leave him alone. If it's meant to be, it will be, without ANY outside help from you. There're a zillion boys in the world, and every one of them has some special quality that'll peak your interest. You need to understand that because you two are right on top of each other and not far apart, you're going to keep having these strong feelings because of the way he makes you feel. Believe me, the next guy will do the same if he has the chance. I'm saying that you should back off, let this cool down. Stop talking to him, and literally wait a few MONTHS and see if you still feel the same. I don't mean sit at home and pine over him!! I mean get on with YOUR life, without him, and see if things are still the same come spring. If they are, then there you go. But I'll be willing to bet money that he'll find another girl about a month after you two call it off. That's not a bad thing, but it is something that wouldn't have happened with you hanging around all the time, not ready to commit with him. If he's 18 and you're 14, you need to stay away!!! but if he's 24 and you're 20, it'll be a little clearer to you. You failed to say your age. There's a HUGE difference if you're still a young teenager and he's almost out of high school. Just give it some time (if you're old enough, that is).
2007-12-17 15:31:31 · answer #2 · answered by firefiter 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what's right for you and what's not but your emotions are in the way of a good decision. Not the last time in life this will happen.
Take a deep breath and ask yourself are you ready to do this? Not just with him but with anyone, are you ready for it? I think you are afraid of losing him moreso than the risk you would be taking by giving in to him. It should be the other way around. You're young and have plenty more life ahead to make this decision. Now does not sound like the right time for you, if you ask me.
2007-12-17 15:26:14 · answer #3 · answered by Dude 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Four years is about right if YOU are old enough to know what you are looking for. The first thing you should look for in this situation is a little certificate called a barrage license, Then go all the way if you feel comfortable.
Been married 45 years. My wife is five years younger than me.
2007-12-17 15:26:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you answered your own question sweetie. its easy to see that you are not ready for it and that should be a turn on to him knowing that he is with a girl that is true to herself. so what if he has to wait 4or 5 year or even longer, do you know how hard it is to come by a virgin these days? that a lone should motivate any guy to want to stay with you. if he doesn't want to be with you because you wont go all the way then he is simply putting on an act to try to get down your pants. trust me i use to play those games with girls until i hurt one and realized shortly after that that i couldn't have her back no matter how much i apologize. good luck and take my advice
2007-12-17 15:29:36 · answer #5 · answered by teri b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how old you are but obviously you are not ready for this kind of relationahip.
Why don't you two agree to be friends and see what happens, but keep your legs closed. You sound way too young and immature to even be considering sex. If that is what he is looking for why are you even pondering this. Wait til you are older and more mature. You will regret this later in life. And you need to be taking precautions if you have sex not only for intercourse but because of STD and Aids.
2007-12-17 15:24:18 · answer #6 · answered by tone 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yeah dude its ur fault for having sex without a condom and getting stds? Look if ur not ready ur not ready age difference or not just do it when your comfortable but do it with protection. Sex is one of the best thing you can experience in life just be careful who ur with. My first gf when i was 19 she told me she never had a bf before but she dint tell me she slept with 15 guys before which i later found out and that she cheated on me with her gay best friend who had STD even though you wear a condom you can still get an std .
2007-12-17 15:30:20 · answer #7 · answered by Ben 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, how does over-rated tie into this?
Anyway, I think it is all dependent on the guy. The age difference isn't that much (then again, considering it applies to me, you might not want to quote me), however if he is expecting all the way, then I think you should do what you feel is right.
2007-12-17 15:25:00 · answer #8 · answered by niiro13 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you and he plan on having lots and lots of ggooood times together?
Does that include children and raising a family?
Does that include jumping his bones and then he goes to someone else tomorrow night and the his friends want to date you?Get real. Move on. Don't ever give it if it aint from the heart.
2007-12-17 15:27:04 · answer #9 · answered by logie ogie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you shouldn't feel pressured into doing anything. just think about it...if you do...you are risking alot. if you don't...you are still risking alot. this probably sounds stupid..but when i get confused on somethin, i sit down and right the pro's and con's of the subject and what would come out of it. but mainly, don't feel pressured by him to do anything you don't want to. because that's the worst thing of all....regret.
2007-12-17 15:25:09 · answer #10 · answered by texas*angel 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well in the end what you would probably end up regretting in your later years would be giving it up to him. If he really cares about you he will wait until your ready. Relationships shouldn't be based on sex so if you have to have sex to keep it together than its not one worth keeping
2007-12-17 15:24:31 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋