Getting engaged...Whatever I want?

Question

Well I am getting engaged and my boyfriend said I can do whatever I want as far as the wedding/reception. He says he doesn't care as long he gets to marry me. (too cute IMO) So I am completely boggled as far as what to do....I have a small family and a few close friends (25 people max) but he has like 200 family members in this state alone. From what research I have done so far, I want a small ceremony and a big reception, but I do not know where to begin. Pretty much to sum it up, I am panicking, any ideas?

Answer 1

Figure out a budget first: unless you have a billionaire father, money will limit your options.

Church or civil ceremony? If church, you need to find an agreeable minister and a location you can book. If you want a huge reception, then you may want a different site.

My sister married in the State Forest. My brother, in our parent's house. I married in a reception hall at my college (room was free as long as we used the school's catering). Almost anything is possible, but I agree with your guy. None of the details matter, as long as you both want to get married.

Answer 2

Have exactly what you want. Have immediate family and close friends invited to the wedding and everyone invited to the reception. Just make sure you have two invitations printed one inviting the family to the wedding with a reception card enclosed and one inviting everyone else just to the reception. That makes it feel more complete for the people just being invited to the reception. theknot.com is a good place to go to get a schedule/plan of what to do when. If you need travel arrangements, www.fasttravelguide.com is a good place to go to get great hotel, airline and rental car rates along with limos.

Answer 3

First you have to know that the same people must be invited to BOTH the ceremony and reception, so budget accordingly. You can't just have 50 people at the ceremony and invite 150 to the reception, that's very rude.
So to start, you and him have to come up with a budget that the two of you can afford, then you determine the number of guests, style of wedding, and go on from there.
Good luck!

Answer 4

Personally I would elope - go to the courthouse and save all the dough for something important like the honeymoon or even a house - but that's me.

Otherwise I would opt for a small intimate ceremony - with just your immediate family and punch and cake for refreshments.

Then go on your honeymoon and enjoy yourselves.

Later on - hold a "celebrate our marriage" reception where you can invite all the friends and family you want to.

Oh - but you want to do it "the right way!"

AH then, first thing is to sit down with fiance and families and set a date. At the same time discuss budget. Be realistic please - going hopelessly in debt - or expecting others to go hopelessly into debt - all for a one-day event is really unwise. But set a decent budget - and set 25% of that money aside as the "fudge factor" because there will always be something that comes up.

Then with budget in hand, contact a wedding planner and sit down with them to go over details.

And above all - keep cool about things. It's so easy to get bogged down into the details of making everything "perfect!!!!" that you start to slide into Bridezilla-land - and that's not a good thing. So keep pretty blaze about this or that minor detail.

Answer 5

I wouldn't invite some to the wedding and everyone to the reception. Think about that....how would you feel if someone thought you were okay to invite to the reception, but not the wedding or vice versa? That's just rude in my opinion. The bride generally pays for the wedding so if you want a small wedding, decide how many people.....say 100 and you get to invite 50 and he gets to invite 50. If you can only think of 25 to invite, then he gets 75......something like that. I'm sorry, but no one can be close to 200 people so if it's a small wedding you want, he'll just have to decide who he wants there the most. Most distant relatives understand not being invited if they know it's a small wedding. Anyway, talk it over with him and see what he says about it.

Answer 6

Start by finding the location(s). You will need a fairly large one for a reception of that size. Also you mentioned that you wanted a small ceremony, kind of impossible with a guest list that size, you will end up hurting someone's feelings if they are not invited to the actual ceremony. My suggeston is that if you live somewhere with nice weather plan and outdoor wedding, one where the wedding ceremony and reception can take place at one location. Logistically this is the easiest, and everyone will feel included in your special day.

Answer 7

Talk to your family about your budget, first of all, then go out and start to look at venues for your reception. Get started right away and try to be flexible on the date because some of the best places only have a few openings! Things will slowly fall into place after that.

Answer 8

You need to figure out your budget before you do anything else. Find out if anyone is going to be offering any $$ contributions so you can figure out what your budget is. Without a budget, there's no point in doing anything.

www.brides.com/guides

Second - go onto this site and go through everything on this list. Your ceremony/reception site should be first, everything else will fall into place once you have chosen your place for the ceremony and reception. Good luck and congrats.

Answer 9

I would wait with wedding plans until he actually proposes. Unless you are the one doing the proposing, in which case, wait until he says yes.

Then just have immediate family and maybe a few close friends at the wedding, and invite everyone else for the reception.

Answer 10

The first thing you have to do is establish a budget. Then, you can start looking for your reception site. Go to theknot.com, they have good budgeting tools so that you don't overlook any of the expenses. They add up pretty quickly.

I personally would be offended if I was invited to the reception but not the ceremony, but maybe that's just me.

Good luck.