My mum has always been agressive towards me and my 2 sisters, for instance 5 years ago when I was 18, because I wouldn't dump my boyfriend, she beat me to the floor, then she kicked me and spat on me for at least 10 minutes. She is always screaming at my sisters and won't let them have any friends.
Tonight my youngest sister who is 16 rang me and told me that earlier today she punched my other sister (who is 17) in the face and split her lip. Neither me nor my sisters have ever hit her back or ever given her a good enough reason to beat the living s**t out of us.
I'm now living in my own house, and am still with the same boyfriend only now married, I know we can offer my sisters a better life and have offered, but they always go back to her because they don't want to let her down or make her mad.
I really don't want to let them down any further, but what on earth can I do to stop this?
Thanks :'(
2007-12-17 06:29:07 · 21 answers · asked by Loopy Loo 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Just to note, she hasn't been with my sisters dad since the youngest was born, so I have always acted as the 2nd parent to them.
Also, she has been on "the dole" for over 20yrs, and never intends to work again, even though there is nothing medically stopping her. She does very little each day, apart from breathing, s**ting and sleeping, oh that and getting p**sed off for no reason.
I have tried speaking to her about it before, but just get told that i'm not my sisters mother and I can't tell them what to do, and when they stand up to her she sees that as my influence on them and it makes her worse.
They have came to me a few times already to stay, but have always gone back to her after a couple of days, basically because she has calmed down a little and wins them round.
Thank you all for your advice and kind comments, I really appriciate them : )
2007-12-17 08:43:37 · update #1
It's called child abuse & it's illegal..... report your Mum to Social services so she can get help.
2007-12-17 06:32:05 · answer #1 · answered by Ĕrotic Ńightmare 5 · 6⤊ 2⤋
I am so sorry for what you went and still go through.
I suggest you face your mother. Talk to her one day when your sisters are not there. Tell her that she has to open her eyes and realize that she is not doing you any good, on the contrary, she harms your souls.
A violent mother leads normally a frustrating life. Is there a husband around? Your father i mean. What does he say to all this? Does your mother have a bad job? Is she in economic difficulties?
If nothing happens, your 17 year old sister will soon reach 18 so she can easily move out of the house and if you want to take her she can live with you. Take the 16 year old as well - at least or some days until your mom realises what she has done.
What u have to do now is to be there for your sisters, do not let them down. You won't I know.
You are all good hearted sisters and feel sorry for your mother. There must be a reason why you feel sorry for her. But on the other side, you are young and you are entitled to be happy and live like other people your age.
Xmas is coming, time for love. I hope your mom comes to her senses and realises how happy she should be, she has three daughters who love her despite their suffering.
2007-12-17 14:46:27 · answer #2 · answered by sehn71 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm completely feeling this for you I'm alot older now but was brought up in an abusive unstable household and I can understand why you would want to offer your sister a secure environment but it sounds like you have done everything possible inside your family perhaps it's time you went outside to social services or child protection you don't have to report your mum but could make enquiries so that you have more options and choices to what's the best way to handle this.
2007-12-18 06:43:43 · answer #3 · answered by Wide Awake 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to go the the authorities and tell them what is going on, maybe there is a way for you to take your sisters in legally. I would not waste anytime trying to get them outof there. Is she has gone that far with you, and so far with your sisters there is not telling what your mom could do next. You can try the authorities or the Department of Children and Families. But I'm pretty sure that there might be a way for you to legally take your sisters in so that way they don't get taken by the state and put in foster care.
2007-12-17 14:35:13 · answer #4 · answered by Jamie07 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hats of your love .. your care ,,, your husby should be one among the luckiest to have you around...
so you have a mother you have 2 sisters
may I ask where is u r dad
PLEASE for just a second think from the angle of your mother ...
if one among you 3 m starts kicking , beating the others around what would she do..
there is some kind of FRUSTRATION ,,, FEAR raiding the mind of that mother ...
have you got somebody respectable in common who can positively influence , your mother , a thick friend of (Probability is NO any way try ...)
or a PRIEST if you trust in God .. or some similar figure whom your mother would sit a while at hear to patiently
put the mediator to talk to her and be taken for a psychic consultation ,, some way to sooth that ailing soul ...
may god bless you and family
wish your mother a quick recovery
2007-12-18 16:10:48 · answer #5 · answered by srevalsan 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Speak to your sisters and ask them to keep a diary of the abuse and take pictures of injuries. When you have the evidence all of you get together with your mum. If it would make it easier ask another family member who is not involved and who you trust to come with you. Stand up to her show her copies of the proof you have recorded and tell her if it doesn't stop you will report her and she can go to prison for this as it is a crime.
If this scare tactic doesn't work i think you really have to consider reporting her and getting her professional help.
Hope it all works out for you.
2007-12-18 18:41:36 · answer #6 · answered by Cinderella 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand it is very hard in a case like this but the best thing you can do for your sisters is get them out of the house and go to the police!
If anything serious ever happens you will regret not having done it!
Good luck
2007-12-17 14:40:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hello,
I was raised in a violent household. As the eldest, when I left home I provided a refuge for me younger siblings. Only one took the offer.
That was many years ago now but my other siblings have told me that although they never left home they took comfort from knowing that they could. They say that knowing there was an escape route was enough to sustain them. Sometimes it is true what they say, a bad mother is better than no mother at all.
Just be there for them. Now concentrate on your own life and be happy, you are worth it. x x x
2007-12-17 14:35:57 · answer #8 · answered by Jadore 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Oh sweetie *hugz*. You need to get your sisters sorted out and away from her. Your mum obviously needs help mentally. Report her to Social services and let them know you are available to take your sisters into care. Best wishes, I'm thinking about you.
2007-12-17 14:35:56 · answer #9 · answered by Mistress B 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You must be so strong- if I was you I probably wouldn't have had the strength to move out or be myself. I'd have just ended up repressed.
However I do get angry when people are bad to me for no reason so if I was in your shoes I'd probably have ended up hitting her back. And I would definately report her- it sounds like she is not mentally well. So for everyone's sakes, including hers, she needs reporting.
2007-12-18 10:43:00 · answer #10 · answered by skyespirit86 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
encourage your sisters to contact the local housing authority, to get somewher to live, and also to learn some kind of martial arts (Judo, Karate, etc.), NOT to hit your mum, but to RESTRAIN her.
Have you got grandparents/aunts/friends who could let your sisters stay with them for a while?
Your mother is an absolute disgrace and unfit to have a family
2007-12-17 15:36:23 · answer #11 · answered by shutyerfaceup 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋