I'm finding myself thinking about how many BAD decisions my mom and siblings have made with their children. It is to such an extent that if I could change my daughters DNA, I would, just so she wouldn't have the pre-programed data to be like them! Is it common to feel bitter as we grow?
2007-12-17 06:12:22 · 7 answers · asked by Aloha Dre 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I agree
It also makes me realize that every family has their share of problems, even the ones who appear perfect. I think that as we get older, we start to realize that our family members are just human and capable of both good and bad decisions in life.
I still love them dearly and I realize that because I am a part of the family, I contribute to the dysfunctional nature of my family.
Since I am adopted, I have escaped the DNA issue of the family I know.
2007-12-17 06:35:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not exactly.
My family ALWAYS seemed dysfunctional to me. What I have found as I've grown older and discussed others' families with them is that EVERY family is dysfunctional but some are worse than others. I have at least one friend whose childhood makes mine sound like a walk in the park even though I was put in foster homes and separated from siblings and mother for more than a year as a teenager.
The idea is to learn from your past rather than simply dwell on the negatives. One thing I got from the bad example of my parents was the knowledge that accepting personal responsibility for agreements I made was very important. Some people just repeat the past cycle because they don't recognize the programming. Others can see it for what it is and overcome it.
2007-12-17 06:26:59 · answer #2 · answered by Say_What? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I do. That goes the same for me. I am 25. 20 years ago, I thought that my parents and siblings were perfect. When I was a teenager, I realized that they were not perfect people and did alot of things to my disadvantage. As a reached adult day after day, I explore the world and realized they were more unreasonable than I thought they were. I am very upset on how I was treated in the past, but I still love them and wish that they were different.
2007-12-17 10:48:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe it is a cycle. early adulthood is filled with realizations of how bad your parents were. but later, like in your 30s and 40s you come to understand they did the best they could. at 47 i've decided my family is really not bad at all.
2007-12-17 06:16:41 · answer #4 · answered by Sufi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, to a point. I think when we are younger, we tend to gloss over defects in ourselves and our family. As we grow into middle age, you can objectively analyze your family and your own behavior and see the problems. As you move into your 70s+ you become overly critical in general.
I think it is just part of the process. Live long and prosper!
2007-12-17 06:17:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope. My in-laws are the same. It's crazy...
I'm nothing like them... and it's hard to just sit there and be polite while they're doing what they do.
2007-12-17 06:16:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. I realized this at a very early age..lol...I still love them though.
2007-12-17 07:03:23 · answer #7 · answered by jo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋