And not just trying to seem nice so I will fall for him? I want a guy who shares my beliefs and doesn't just pretend to, a guy who is motivated by the same things. How will I know when I'm being deceived?
2007-12-17 05:43:26 · 53 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I don't understand why all of you seem to think I'm a hypocrite. I have read the Word, and yes I have had my share of proof that it is the truth and that the Cross is the power of God. I do go to a wonderful church and have met wonderful Christian men. That doesn't mean I cannot be deceived.
2007-12-17 05:57:31 · update #1
I do not mean his religious affiliation, I mean what is in his heart. The Lord does say that he does not unevenly yoke us with someone who doesn't share our convictions.
2007-12-17 06:49:53 · update #2
Unfortunately, many people call themselves Christians but haven't truly accepted Christ and, therefore, don't put forth much effort to live a godly lives. I admire you greatly for looking for a man who is committed to fulfilling God's purpose for his life and for guarding against becoming "unequally yoked" with a non-Christian.
It usually takes some observation time to determine if a person is living a godly life. Look for red flags like whether or not he loses his temper easily or often. If he does get angry, does he use profanity? Does he talk negatively about others? What kind of movies does he watch?
Good things to look for are whether or not he gives prayerful thanks for each meal even in a public restaurant. Does he talk about his church and what ministry he's involved in? Has he invited you to his church? Ask him what his life verse is. (My is Psalm 138:3.)
If you can be more direct, ask him about the time he was saved. Most Christians are thrilled to share this information. If he is saved, ask him how he knows he is. (The Bible says that we can know for sure.) Does he know what the Romans Road is? (It's a set of five or six scriptures that outline God plan of salvation.) Do you know if he has a certain time of day set aside for Bible reading or devotional time?
As Christians, we're all at different points in our spiritual walk. The person you're interested in may truly be saved, but he may not be spiritually mature. Does he demonstrate a desire to grow more Christlike? That's really the key.
If he is a Christian, he will both understand and appreciate your asking these questions. If he's not, he may blow off his answers, but you'll better understand what kind of person he is.
Good luck and God bless you!
ADDITIONAL INFO:
I certainly don't think that you're a hypocrite. There are a lot of people on this site who may think they're giving helpful advice, but because they have not experienced a real walk with Christ they simply don't understand the enrichment that comes when we truly surrender to Him. Add to this the fact that some Christians stumble and fall in our daily walk, and these responders feel vindicated by jumping on these mistakes and slinging arrows. They view it as another point for their side.
Don't take their comments seriously, and try not to allow them to hurt you. Much of what they write is self-serving; it's meant only to make themselves feel better about their negative view of God.
You're doing the right thing. Pray for God's guidance as you date. He will give you an unmistakable peace when you find the man that God has for you. He did with me and I've never been happier!
2007-12-17 05:55:05 · answer #1 · answered by DJ 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
One way is not by handing over sex. If he can deal with having and loving a women who is chaste then only a saint could do that.
There are many thigs to consider. Does he pray and if he does does he include you in any prayer sessions.
Does he have that calm peace about him. Is he honest with even strangers and enemies. Is he always gentle and kind. One could go on forever.
Make sure the relationship goes on long enough before marriage. If you do this he will eventually show his true colors.
2007-12-17 05:54:34 · answer #2 · answered by sandra_k19 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I think first you should pray that God will provide you with a Christian man and then there will be no guessing. However, if you are still a little of a doubter, compare him to the fruits of a Christian listed in Galations 5:22. Also, is he comfortable talking about things of Christ and praying with you?
2007-12-17 05:47:28 · answer #3 · answered by Arrica H 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You can never know for sure. You just have to take the book of James for what it is- that faith without works is dead. We prove our faith by our actions. But only God knows a person's heart. You can only go by actions and what he claims.
I'd say get in a good bible preaching church, get active, and let God bring the man to you. Don't date, get to know each other, observe how active he is in church and see how things go.
If you want a Christian husband, you need to go to where they are.
2007-12-17 05:47:30 · answer #4 · answered by not too creative 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You should get to know him and talk to him about beliefs on certain subject that are important to you. Theres nothing wrong with talking about personal beliefs with someone...especially if you are both interested in each other.
Time is the best thing...dont rush into a relationship...see if his actions match what he says he believes!
2007-12-17 05:49:42 · answer #5 · answered by Mrs. Arnold 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, it sux that you think about life this way. it really does. the measure of a man is in his spirit, not within his religious affiliation. If one calls themself a Christian and is evil, they are still not a Christian. If one does not broadcast publically his beliefs, and is good, he is a Christian. Christianity guide for living, not a T-shirt.
on another note, liars are excrutiatingly self centered. So, look for that defect first.
2007-12-17 05:48:49 · answer #6 · answered by ab13chains 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Matthew 12:33 “Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or else make the tree bad and its fruit bad; for a tree is known by its fruit. 34 Brood of vipers! How can you, being evil, speak good things? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. 35 A good man out of the good treasure of his heart[g] brings forth good things, and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth evil things.
2007-12-17 05:49:58 · answer #7 · answered by L.C. 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
the only way u can know a person's true character is if u let it get tested.
thats why true friendships take so long to form, you have to go though different situations so their true character is tested and then you can c if the person shares your beliefs.
2007-12-17 05:48:27 · answer #8 · answered by bella 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can't be sure.
You can greatly increase your odds by picking up men at church functions. But it's not a certainty even then.
good luck.
2007-12-17 05:47:06 · answer #9 · answered by juicy_wishun 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Easy, ask or look for certain traits.
A bumper sticker on his car, a way of talking to people with respect,
asking and talking to him about his opinion on a certain topic.
2007-12-17 05:47:14 · answer #10 · answered by god knows and sees else Yahoo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋