We are both born and live in the Uk. We have been together for just over two years. Latley he has been telling me we have to break up because he says we cant get married in the future. We have talked about this before, not properly but I said that I love him and want to be with him. Recently he has told me to find someone else and to go and be with him. Then the next minute he acts normal and tells me he always wants to be with me and talks about living together?? I am confused and so hurt by all this. He then said if i converted eveything would be okay. But would it though? would his family accept me? I am not interested in another man I love him and so I dont know what to do. He told me he doesnt want me to hate him later in life when he has to get married and he cant be with me anymore and then I will be left with no one. Please could you help me and give me some good advice on what I can do.
2007-12-17 03:45:02 · 36 answers · asked by Miss T 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Dump him and find a catholic guy.
2007-12-17 03:48:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like he is just trying to get you to convert! You can make it work no matter what! I have been with my fella for nearly 6 years, he is protestant and I am catholic! We live in a really bitter community in Northern Ireland and I am one of a few catholics in the area! It took a while but I am now accepted and by his friends and family! We are going to be married by a priest and a minister at the same time!
Dont let him change what you have believed all your life! If he loved you so much he would accept and respect your beliefs! Dont turn your back on the God you know! What would he say if you asked him to change his religion?
I know its hard because you love him but religion shouldnt matter where love is concerned!
Maybe moving away from his family would be a good idea! A fresh start! Or just tell him to stop leading you on, either be with you completely or leave now and save the heart ache!
Remember you shouldnt change for anyone! Dont live your life based on a lie! You know your beliefs dont change them for anyone!
2007-12-17 03:59:44 · answer #2 · answered by emzy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Muslim men are permitted to marry Catholic women -- you need to tell him this if he doesn't know! As a Catholic, you are considered one of the "people of the book," and people of the book are afforded many rights and privileges in Islam. It would not be sinful or bad or wrong at all for him to marry you someday. Maybe his parents wouldn't like it, but that's a cultural problem, a matter of opinion -- it is *not* a matter of religion.
This rule is written in the Qur'an itself. You can marry a Muslim, you don't have to convert, and you can never be forced to stop practicing your religion as long as you remain Christian or Jewish (or Hindu or Zoroastrian or Sabian, but you get the idea -- you're a Catholic, so you can marry him).
Please see the links listed below; each points to an informative page explaining the marriage rules for non-Muslim women and Muslim men. I'd encourage you to share the links with your boyfriend, too.
Salaams -- and good luck!
2007-12-17 04:03:46 · answer #3 · answered by Aisha180 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why the hell can't he convert? Why does it have to be you? This is inevitably going to cause problems...it sounds like you are both religious...which means you can't just forget/accept another person's beliefs. If the two of you are going to be together then you will have to work at it extremely hard!! AND if you both really love each other, you shouldn't care about what parent's think. BUT it is much easier if the other persons parents like you. That being said, perhaps it isn't a bad idea if yall take some time apart. You sound young, there is plent of time to find another guy. Take it from me, this guy sounds like he is the ONE, but he's probably not...
2016-04-09 21:46:25 · answer #4 · answered by April 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Miss T ,i do hope you are not being blackmailed/manipulated into changing your faith without a commitment from your boyfriend.Personally i can see no block to your continued relationship except your boyfriends obvious concern about retribution of sorts.By him saying you will be left alone and have no.one when you separate,it looks as though he is trying to pressure you.Can you both talk to your respective parents about this? Do his parents know of you or have you been introduced to them by him? The same with your parents?There is an old saying ,"when you are in a hole stop digging",very difficult when people are throwing shovels down to you.Your choice,here is where the path splits,right-or-left? good luck.Just bear one thing in mind ,religion is only a very young thing in earths history,mankind existed and survived long before man invented religion.
2007-12-17 03:59:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well religiously there's a conflict of interest, because your talking about two different belief systems. which would 've confused your kids if you were to ever have them. However, if it's one thing I know all religions can't argue with is "real love". If you really love him religion shouldn't get in the way, that just sounds like a bunch of BS. Think about it if you were too say that to him he would've asked you "what difference does that make?"
If that's the way he feels then call his bluff and really move on with your life. I know you have strong feelings for him, but If I were you I would move on he's running game on you. Because if he really felt that way he wouldn't keep calling you.
Good luck and God bless!
2007-12-17 04:17:53 · answer #6 · answered by 00silky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you willing to convert? Because that may be the only way you get to be with him and be married.
Personally I wouldnt convert and I think he is a hypocrite for saying that you cant be together. If he cares about his religion so much he shouldnt be with you in the first place. He's having sex with someone he's not even married to and Im assuming you dont cover your head and arms etc.
Tell him to put up or shut up.
But if you really love him and you dont mind giving up your religion then you'll have to marry him.
Good Luck
2007-12-17 03:53:09 · answer #7 · answered by buff1ne 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, first of all-- if you ever want to convert, think about it thoroughly. Do you convert because you believe in the religion or because you just love the guy?.
If you convert because of the guy, then i advise you don't. Religion is no playing matter-- so don't just convert because of love or because he tells you to.
Convert because you believe in what the religion stands for.
Anyways, muslim or not-- it seems to me that this guy is really unsure of what he wants. If you really want to make this work, you'll need his full support. And it seems that he is reluctant. Check out his family.. Would you be able to live with them?
Observe their culture.. Would you be able to live according to it?
A marriage should be a happy one, and if marriage to this guy will give you happiness, then go for it. But will it? are you sure you'll be happy living with this guy? will he give full support to you? Don't leave any doubts behind. Be sure that you can cope with him and his culture.
~All the best.
What's frustrating is that in this day and age, there's still people who discriminate and stereotype on a particular religion..
Please respect other cultures and their beliefs-- it's really not our place to judge..
I have a few muslim friends and they are geat people who are open-minded and treat women with great respect. PLEASE don't discriminate.
Some people are REALLY misinformed about islam. It's a beautiful religion.
2007-12-17 04:11:02 · answer #8 · answered by jupiter_aridan 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Changing you're religion is not the answer if his family still wont accept you, but it may work if they do. I have been in this situation with my ex and her parents/family not accepting me because i was a different religion to her. We made the decision to break up and we stayed friends because it wasnt a break up over anger or difficulty, and now we're both in different relationships, much happier and accepted by inlaws!! Also, if he's that religious, bear in mind what your responsibilities and requirements will be when married. You will have to attend mosque, fast during ramadan, ggive up pork and drink. Are these sacrifices you are willing to make - you come first sometimes, and if you cant live with the change in lifestyle, you need to leave and find happiness elsewhere - you will.
2007-12-17 03:52:22 · answer #9 · answered by hak 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You obviously didn't see make me a muslim last night on tv. There's a white British woman on there and she has a boyfriend who is a muslim, they have been together for over 2 years but his family refuse to accept her even though she has said she will try to convert to muslim. Basically it's their way or the highway!...Seem to be very intolerant of anyone elses beliefs.
And no, I'm not racist before anyone says!
2007-12-17 03:54:15 · answer #10 · answered by Cheryl B 6 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Id run hard and fast in the opposite direction. Im not racist but have you ever seen how females are treated in such countries? Why cant he convert his religion? Dont change your personal beliefs for a boy. Once you enter into a relationship in this situation imagine the magnitude of whats happening. You couldnt easily walk away could you? If you think you could i suggest you look into it a bit more.
2007-12-17 03:52:08 · answer #11 · answered by Emm H 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋