2007-12-17 02:58:11 · 9 answers · asked by abeer 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
By working out i mean, RELATIONSHIP.
2007-12-17 02:58:52 · update #1
I hear ya. There's no satisfying them. My mother in law is schizophrenic, bipolar and a manic depressant, so that makes it even more of an adventure. I've just learned over the past 6 years that I've been with my husband (married 4 of those 6), to just ignore her and brush her off because nothing is ever going to please her and that everything she says is from a physco's point of view - lol. Just laugh at everything and don't bend over backwards for her - you need to be yourself, if you try to please others all of the time, then you'll be the one who's miserable. Just relax and don't worry about what she thinks - if there's no pleasing her then screw it. Don't be a jerk but at the same time, don't go to any great lengths - you know what I mean?
2007-12-17 03:04:26 · answer #1 · answered by ~*Mrs. GM2*~ 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
An old lady said in conversation that she thinks MIL's are insecure. I so being, I think that sometimes, MIL's go about getting what they want the wrong way. They seem to think that waging a power struggle will get the results they want. This has been my experience, at least.
In the end,it is the DIL that has the power, not the MIL. The MIL may try to get you to think the opposite by trying to be controlling and pushy. In getting along with your MIL, as far as possilbe be pleasant. However, don't allow yourself to be pushed around or you won't be respected. Stand up for yourself in a classy and intelligent way. Don't be shy about saying no to a request that does not feel right to grant. MIL's typical MO is trying to make the DIL look like "the problem." You may need to establish boundaries with your MIL and defend them constantly, especially if you have children. Also, let your husband deal with your MIL if she tries to fling poo at you. Beat her at her own game. Simply tell your husband what exactly your MIL did or said to you that was less than pleasant in a matter-of-fact way. If the incident happened in front of him, tell him how it made you feel and why. Do not allow her to pit you and your husband against each other. A house divided can not stand.
Some great advice given to me by a health professional in dealing with my husband's family: Never speak ill of them directly. It can be hard sometimes, but think of how you feel if someone were to put down your mother or father, even if it is true. Try not to let your MIL get under your skin or she could be able to manipulate you.
2007-12-17 11:16:28 · answer #2 · answered by Rose 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
MILs are authority figures by virtue of being mother to your hubby, experiences gained in life so far and always have a feeling that you have stolen her son from her.You are the cause that her son has been paying little attention and love to her.She is also wary that you may not usurp her commanding position in the household
You can well establish good relations with her by allaying her fears,as above and always being cordial and respectful to her.
You too will come to the status of a MIL someday. Please ensure that your DIL do not have to post a question like this in y/a.
2007-12-17 11:11:15 · answer #3 · answered by yogeshwargarg 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course it can work out. I have a great relationship with my mother in law. Start off by not assuming that everything she says and does is are done just to aggravate you. That really does help.
2007-12-17 11:21:32 · answer #4 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to find out what your diffrences are and try to come together on this, it really depends on why you dont have a good relationship with them. Be open to ideas and suggestions and everything will fall into place. I wish you luck because sometimes in-laws can be the best!
2007-12-17 11:02:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The mother-in-law relationship can be very difficult. Do your best, she is your husband's mother. Good Luck.
2007-12-17 11:03:16 · answer #6 · answered by Ray 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I might be a different perspective (being a male and relating to wife's mother is different than being a female and relating to a husband's mother)...
But I get along great with "Gamma Joni" (as the kids all call her)... just don't stress about getting them to "like you", just be yourself around them.
Hope this helps...
2007-12-17 11:19:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just be a good person to her. Let your husband handle problems with her. Remember you both love the same guy.
2007-12-17 11:04:49 · answer #8 · answered by tysdad62271 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Praying is the only thing you can do. God is the only one that can change hearts and minds. Just remember to always be loving and treat her the way you want to be treated. We are not responsible with God for how people treat us, only for how we treat them. God Bless
2007-12-17 11:11:49 · answer #9 · answered by Angel 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋