Ok, so my friend, who I have had a crush on for a long time, is dating a complete and total jerk. She introduced him to me and he acted the way I did when I was in 6th grade (I am now 21). He insulted an activity I take part in, and then asked me to help him with it. When she walked away, he said, "Get some beers in you, and we'll have some drunken martial arts." From my point of view, this sounds like a fight. I left before anything got out of hand. I don't know what to do. If I tell her about this, she'll just think I'm jealous. If I don't tell her, I am afraid he is going to get violent with her eventually (she said he got into a fight with his roommate before). Please help me. I really have no idea what to do.
2007-12-17 01:49:53 · 5 answers · asked by The Man 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
For those of you who asked for more details:
He is possessive of her and insecure. The second he saw me, he went over to her and put his arm around her. Then when we talked, he back handed me on the stomach to show dominance. The fight with his roommate was a fist fight, and she told him, "you shouldn't treat your roommate that way," and he blew up at her. She went home bawling at 3:30 in the morning and he didn't even call her to apologize for 40 minutes. I am NOT JEALOUS. If she was with a decent, moral guy, I would be really happy for her, but she is not. I am concerned about my friend, my feelings for her come secondary. I would feel concerned with any friend if I knew what I know of this guy. The tone of his voice did not sound like, "boys being boys." Drink up and we'll have a martial arts round? Come on! Something bad was going to do gown, I could sense it. Yes he was being "friendly," but it was a phoney friendly. I could see right through him.
2007-12-17 02:24:07 · update #1
just tell her and if she thinks you are jealous just reassure her as much as possible she needs to know.
2007-12-17 01:53:15 · answer #1 · answered by Please Don't Leave Me x 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
from what you've posted, you do sound jealous. He sounds like he was trying to be friendly with you and do some male bonding.
you haven't mentioned anything that tells me he may be dangerous. Details on the fight with roommate. Was it an argument and you are assuming it was physical? Did the roommate start it and he was defending himself? What were the circumstances.
below is a link to warning signs of an abusive partner so you know what one looks like and you can see if he really fits any of those patterns.
2007-12-17 10:02:12 · answer #2 · answered by Invisigoth 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What you do is be her friend. She has to make her own mistakes. She sees something in him and that is all that matters. You description of the drunken martial arts doesn't sound to me like he wanted a fight, it sounds like he is a typical early 20ish guy. If you are going to be around the two of them then you'd better just accept that this is who she is dating and leave it at that. Spend your time focusing on what makes you happy. If he ever does lay a hand on her, THEN you get involved. Until then it is just you speculating.
2007-12-17 09:55:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Start taking some Mixed Martial Arts classes, and deal with him like a man.
2007-12-17 09:53:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should TOOL him literally. Make him look like a jackass. Out Alpha the Alpha or you just a BETA. One way to Tool him is to act like he doesn't exist. Whatever he says to degrade you just dont look at him don't ackowledge it his not there!
Go up to the guy and put your arms on his shoulder to impose your dominance and alpha ness over him then just own them with game.
2007-12-17 10:08:05 · answer #5 · answered by Apex 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋