How do you move on from your 1st love?

Question

ive been stuck on someone for a very long time now, and think its time i learn to move on..BUT i DON"T KNOW how to move on.

it was my 1st love, and it ended rather coldly..and it still hurts me, cause i still have feelings for him..

i once tried to move on before , it was a huge mistake..he was childish,immature, and peverted..i couldnt develop feelings for him.i just felt terrible about the whole thing..since he loves me..bleh

can someone explain how to move on, with details not just the typical "find some1 new ull ferget abot yer self" like answers...

please help!

Answer 1

It is very difficult to move on from your first love.

For me it was just time. I kept myself busy and did other stuff ... study, work, survival.

It was very difficult to do this because I kept being distracted and wanting to go back and knowing that it would all be bad ... but eventually the pain lessened with time.

And eventually I found someone else ... or maybe someone else found me.

Answer 2

I don't think that finding someone new is the answer. You have to realize emotionally as well as intellectually that one's first love is rarely a long-term or permanent relationship. young people are perhaps more easily hurt and have more realistic expectations of love, but they are also less capable of a healthy relationship.

try to define what a healthy relationship is all about and you'll probably realize that what you and he was not it. it may also help to distinguish between "falling in love" and actually loving someone. the former is a type of immature addiction whereby we feel good for a while but are projecting onto the loved one an artificial persona that isn't real. the latter is about good communication, acceptance of the person as s/he really is, having common goals and values without being clones of the other, and having a mutual sense of responsibility about life and the relationship.

the more you can relate to people without "falling in love" the closer you will be to finding someone of true value who is worthy of a healthy relationship with you. this is not an instant fix but a worthwhile path.

Answer 3

I've only had 2 true loves in my life, all the other boyfriends that I had were only a couple weeks relationship for the fun of it. i'm married now and we have a toddler and are trying for another baby!
however my first love still comes to mind every now and then, they will always be apart of you since they are are apart of your memory and there are the good times and the bad times from those memories. once in a while out of no where i'll have a dream and my first love will be there and I have feelings for him in the dream. but in real life we talk occasionally on myspace as friends and nothing more and we are both married to our 2nd loves. it wasn't meant to be for us, there is someone out there for everyone and when the time is right you will find each other.
love is such a complicated thing sometimes

Answer 4

Alot of times it is just easier to stay in love with that person...it's scary to think about moving on and finding someone new and having to build a relationship all over again. You have to allow yourself some time to find out who you are as a single person first...and like spending time with you. Once tha happens, you will be ready to put yourself out there again. You might ask friends if they have anyone to fix you up with. Take it slow...the first person might not be the right person...just date some people and see how you feel. Good luck!

Answer 5

yes it is painful, but understand that relationships are like school courses, and a good education just might help you when deciding on your true life-time partner...We all hope that our first love is our permanent one, but realistically this rarely does take place, or it doesn't always last because people change or "grow". But hopefully, our relationship trials will make us better people as we learn about others, but mainly ourselves. When a relationship ends time is needed to "regroup" but at the same time, one needs distractons from the past. Casual dating, or better, just spending FUN time with friends can help. Avoid trying to get with someone just to replace the other or to "have someone" cause all you really have in life is yourself....it will cause you more trouble and don't sit around feeling sorry for yourself and becoming lonely for the person who wasn't good for you in thje first place. there's reason you broke up, and it sounds like you had good ones. do not set aside your values just to be with someone. take care of you, and move on.

Answer 6

i think cos the relationship finished like u said 'coldly', u ain't had closure from the relationship cos there are some unfinished things left, i think ur look for answer to why it might not have worked out or u don't want him completely out of ur life, and u still wanna be friends with him maybe? talk to him and say u wanna be friends, when my last relationship ended 'coldly' it was hard to move on but i spoke to him saying lets atleast be friends i moved on and found it easier to get over it,

Answer 7

honey baby there is no one here that can help u get over ur 1st love time cures everything but in some cases it just takes time and not mney don't try to buy ur happeniness back with money it will last a little while not long soo look deep down inside and find if u can get over him!!!

Answer 8

Spend more time with your friends and family...
kinship and friendship will help alot...
with their supports, you will definitely be motivated to move on.

Answer 9

hunn, its goin to be hard but you have to !! yea its hard it just takes time !!

Answer 10

the only cure is TIME.