I enjoy church and need it. However I don't make it my life. It disappoints me a great deal to go to church and see cliques. I mean I understand people with like minds gravitate to one another. But @ my church its much more than that. Cliques are separated by class from rich to poor. Its like some unwritten rule that if you u don't have quite as much money, then u shouldn't expect to be supported much. (support meaning moral and spiritual) *However these same semi shunned individuals are expected to pay tithes* And the closer you are to the pastor the worse the mentality gets. I grew up in this church and as a child I never knew the "cliques" that existed. My dad and the pastor are related so that "spared" me. I don't want to have a negative attitude towards church. But that sort of foolishness GETS ON MY NERVES!!! its unnecessary.. really. People have been deeply wounded by the actions of some of these ppl.
2007-12-17 01:00:17 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I know exactly what you mean. I go to a very large church, so it's hard enough finding a group to cennect with. But I'm in a Sunday school class, a small group, and the Women's Bible Study, and I still have no one that I can really say I'm close to. It's like I can't break into the cliques anywhere! I thought I'd have more friends when I had kids, but even the other moms are so tight that no one can break in. I honestly don't know how the church keeps growing so much if this is how people are treated, and I know it isn't just me because I've heard others say the same thing. Sad, sad, sad.
2007-12-17 01:07:17 · answer #1 · answered by Starfall 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a big problem in some churches and often people don't realise that they are not doing it. The only solution for a good pastor is to keep gently reminding them that a true church is a welcoming church which is open and inclusive. If he or she is one of a clique then some friend has to point that out in private.
The worst clique I have seen was the group of ladies who seemed to manage all the catering at social events brilliantly. But they had bonded so well that it was very hard for a newcomer to break into it. They just didn't see it, but to be fair to them they reacted very positively when it was pointed out to them.
I haven't seen cliques based on money.
2007-12-17 01:14:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know what you mean. There was one church that I attended that had cliques: the senior pastor's clique, the ladies' clique & the men's clique. Others, especially newcomers, felt left out. I tried to tactfully point this out to the senior pastor that cliques will cause the church to be unhealthy, but he couldn't see it...of course! So after awhile (4 years), I left that church. And I am glad I did!
Later on, I got the feedback that there was a mass exodus out of that church within 2 years! Of course, those in the cliques are still there....
Now my present church has no cliques because the senior pastors are very wise and they encourage integration, unity & Christian love for one another. Praise the Lord!
2007-12-17 01:18:58 · answer #3 · answered by cataliz <SFCU> 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
That goes on at my church to, back at home. Its like people look down on people with less money. And I can see the attitude the pastor and his wife, and the rest of the people that hang with that cliques, have towards people with less money. Some people has already stop going to that church.
And the pastor wonder why alot of people don't attend his church.
THere is a deacon there who makes alot of money and he and his wife is in charge of the youth group. He has sexually insulted me, and years later he sexually insulted my niece, while they were at camp. My niece told the pastor, and they all treated her like a tramp and a liar. No body believed her. He was told to step down from that position for a while, but he was allowed back not too long afterwards.
Now my family don't have much money, and lately we and people like us were treated like we didn't matter.
The deacon and his family brings the most money in the church. They also have a close relationship with the pastor and his family.
2007-12-17 01:10:06 · answer #4 · answered by Nikki 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The one bad thing about organized religion is the judging of others. The church has a lot of good to offer but the fallen one has snuck into the churches and has made many people think it is ok to judge others, to have the " I am better than you attitude" and that will prevent them from returning to father and they do not even realize it. They have/are been tricked. Sharing spiritual love is the only path back to father.
http://thebridgeseries.tripod.com
2007-12-17 01:13:24 · answer #5 · answered by happy_kko 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is always cliques at churches, but even though mine has them it's not to the point anyone ignores you. Everyone is friendly with everyone. The rich treat the poor just the same as they do others. I am truly blessed to have found this church I am in.
2007-12-17 01:11:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
All churches I have ever been affiliated with have cliques and are the worst places for gossip on the planet. I prefer to be a spiritual person without attending a church.
2007-12-17 02:28:55 · answer #7 · answered by Karen S 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Its true, it happens everywhere. You just have to deal with it the best you can. Like at my church, my mom's in Women of Grace(a bible study), and the Rosary Society(the church's support group - pay for candles, altar linens, hosts for communion, etc.) thinks its just a social club and they don't do anything. The best you can do is try to reach out to the other cliques and try to connect with them. If its as bad as you state, it probably won't work, but then at least you tried to.
2007-12-17 01:13:05 · answer #8 · answered by d_and_n5000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Show me a church that doesn’t have cliques, and I’ll show you a church that doesn’t exist! C’mon, people, get a grip here! Who do you think GOES to church? Angels?!? Of course not! Churches are normally filled with people, and very, very few of them are anywhere near close to perfect.
My question in response to this one is, why do you go to church to begin with? Do you go to look at other people, or do you go to worship God? Other people aren’t going to save you, or make your life better - chances are they’re just as screwed up and sin-filled as you are. So that respect, maybe it’s a good thing they ARE in church. At least God has a chance to change them and make them better.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t go to church to show everybody how good I am. I go because I need a whole lot of God’s help in my life.
Do NOT be fooled by the pretty trappings and the nice clothes and jewels and all that. Remember that Jesus called the Pharisees “whited sepulchres.”
Mat 23:27 Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead [men's] bones, and of all uncleanness.
Elton Trueblood once said that, as bad and imperfect as the church may be, just imagine how much worse our society would be if we didn’t have any church at all.
My pastor talked with man one time who left the church for very similar reasons. The pastor asked this man if he loved the Lord. The man said of course he did. So, my pastor asked him what would be wrong with going to church, serving God and shaming the devil in the process.
2007-12-17 04:33:22 · answer #9 · answered by bruce d 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like James chapter 2 is totally disregarded.
You might consider attending another church, despite your being related to the pastor.
BTW: Sure sounds like a cult.
.
2007-12-17 01:36:04 · answer #10 · answered by Hogie 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋