2 years ago I was an exchange student in another country.For the first 5 months I lived with a widow and her daughter. I must be honest an say she was good to me and that she is a good person. I was still very much emotinally messed up back then.I can also say I was still immature and very unhappy at the time.I never wanted to admit to myself or others I wanted to go there just to escape from home and not relly to learn the language.I am ready to admit it now to whoever needed and I am ready to apologize to her. Basically,I asked my agency to find me a new host family and I had no reason to do it.I told the house was too cold or something,but in fact the whole problem was in my head.I was also avoiding her for the last 2 days and I could see she was hurt,but I left without saying goodbye and she wasn`t there when I was leaving.Sometime later I saw her on the street and said hello,but she just passed me by.I feel like trash and I can`t forgive myself. I feel I need to apologize,but how?
2007-12-17 00:53:26 · 25 answers · asked by faro 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I want to send her a letter and write how I feel about what happened,but I am afraid she would throw it away before even opening it.Would a letter be appropriate?How should I begin it and end it? Should it be a short or a long letter?
2007-12-17 00:57:06 · update #1
I want to send her a letter and write how I feel about what happened,but I am afraid she would throw it away before even opening it.Would a letter be appropriate?How should I begin it and end it? Should it be a short or a long letter?
2007-12-17 00:57:12 · update #2
Thank you all for your support :-)
2007-12-17 01:32:59 · update #3
A simple note of apology seems like a nice gesture; with an emphasis on SIMPLE. I don't see any harm in writing that your leaving had nothing to do with her or her home, that you were immature and unhappy....that you feel very sorry for how you treated her. Going into any more detail would make the note about your feelings, and a note of apology should focus on your host's feelings not your feelings.
2007-12-17 01:02:18 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, if you have ever had any addiction problems or family or friends with such, or have in any other way learned anything about the 12 step program, then you will know that one of the things that anyone must do, whether the addict or the person just trying to live with them, is to make ammends whenever possible. It is what keeps addicts and alcoholics straight. I think with that being said, it must be a good rule of thumb for all of us to live by.
The thing you need to do is to be honest and upfront, stating whatever you think you did that was wrong, and that you are not only sorry for it , but that you are willing to do whatever it takes to try and make it right again. Maybe the most difficult thing you will ever do in your life, but also the most rewarding, especially if this is weighing so heavily upon you and has been for a long time.
You must however realize that this person may not be willing to accept you apology and desire to make things right. For some people it is not so easy to forgive. But if you have put forth your best effort to make things right then you have done all that you could do and you should feel no more guilt or remorse.
A clean conciense, because you put forth all effort to make things right. You have no control over how it is recieved.
2007-12-17 01:08:50 · answer #2 · answered by catduke3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The pain never goes away.... and I know it hurts... someone very near and dear to me had an abortion and still regrets it to this day, and I dont blame her... it is the own person's fault for getting pregnant that early in the first place, however don't let that ruin your life. Think about the good things that will come out of your new baby Jasmine. I am soo happy for you. You shouldnt keep looking back on that, but rather on what good is yet to come. While old scars never heal, and are hard to get over, there is always a time for new love, and once you have that baby, the pain will decrease. My mom says having a baby is a wonderful thing, and once you have one you experience a love like none other, cherish Jasmine, and just know that the other baby rests in peace knowing you didnt give this one up. ^^
2016-05-24 08:14:30 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Someone once told me that forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. Write her a letter and, at the end, send it if it feels right. If not, at least you'll have put your thoughts out on paper and it may help you feel better about the situation.
I also lived with a host family while abroad as a student and most of these families take in students regularly, year after year. They have experience with all kinds of students and most likely this memory feels worse to you than what it actually was.
2007-12-17 01:00:15 · answer #4 · answered by Mrs E 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thank God you have grown up and see how your actions and inactions can hurt others. By all means, write and apologize for your bad behavior. You were young and immature, even though you knew you were making bad decisions. Own up to your bad behavior and ask for forgiveness. You may get it or you may not. The point is, you will be doing what is right. We can't always make right the wrongs we do in life. Good luck.
2007-12-17 05:33:58 · answer #5 · answered by Mercedes 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should apologize to her in the form of a heart-felt letter, and then offer to take her to lunch if she's willing to forgive you, so you can discuss it more. If she's not willing to forgive you, at least you will have done the right thing and can have a clear conscience about it.
The letter should be no more than a page, and write it by hand, not typed. Perhaps you can even send it attached to a small bouquet of flowers.
2007-12-17 00:57:21 · answer #6 · answered by Slappy McStretchNuts 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would write a letter explaining and asking forgiveness. (snail mail it) Ask her to respond and maybe ask to get together then. That way you have apologized and the ball is in her court as to whether she can forgive and forget. Good luck It's the time of year for goodwill.
2007-12-17 01:00:07 · answer #7 · answered by babycakesmommy1952 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is never too late to do the right thing. It may ease some pain in the other person, and may help you to forgive yourself and allow you to learn from the life lesson, then put it behind you.
2007-12-17 01:37:17 · answer #8 · answered by Lady G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Better late than never.
Of course in person is always best but if you don't think she will speak to you write her a letter of explanation and apology.
You are the leader of your existence.
2007-12-17 01:00:08 · answer #9 · answered by patience 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is never too late to apologize. even if she does throw the letter away, you have still apologized. you have done it with all your heart. now, you have to forgive yourself for hurting someone else. that is harder than it sounds! once you have done that, you will feel a lot better.
2007-12-17 00:56:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋