2007-12-17 00:17:18 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Personally I think arranged marriages are archaic and barbaric. They serve a purpose designed to benefit the parents and not the couple.
I'm sure there are many examples where the couples in arranged marriages grow to be fond of one another, but they also often result in the wife being subservient to the husband or in some cases abused and kept in fear.
Once you marry for love, or even fall in love for that matter, the question becomes mute as you will see how truly beautiful that is and how ugly "arranging" a marriage like a business transaction is.
2007-12-17 00:20:01 · answer #1 · answered by whiskeyman510 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Love works in Marriage like salt in food. Having it in the right proportion gives you the best taste. But married life is not just about love. It is just one among the many factors that play a key role is success of any marriage. Love alone can never guarantee success in married life. The biggest mistake is that people in love decide to marry for this reason alone and ignores the other factors. Love cannot power a married life, like a battery that powers an electronic gadget.
In the Indian system of arranged marriage, love is not taken into consideration. We depend on the first impression and take the risk( a probability of disliking each other). STILL.... arranged marriages has lead to more stable families. It reflects the importance of other factors when compared to love, in a married life.
Love marriage works well if you have taken a decision after proper thinking. Arrange marriage works if you are lucky enough. What ever be the choice, if you are ready to make endless compromises and sacrifices without making complaints..... both works well. (like how it works for most indian couples)
Love is engine for the vehicle called life. In love marriage you try to build the right body for your engine, where as in arranged marriage you need to make an engine and fit in.
2007-12-17 00:45:56 · answer #2 · answered by Genius Tvm 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, Folks, there are a lot of people on this forum for whom English is a SECOND or even THIRD language - So lighten up a little. Using Text code is one thing - that's rude. But struggling with a complicagted language like English is completely understandable.
OK I am assuming that you're asking which is better - A marriage that was "arranged" or one in which the couple marries out of "love."
They both have their advantages and disadvantages.
Some have said that a love marriage is like putting a pot of hot water on a cold stove - it soon cools off - while an arranged marriage is like puting a pot of cold water on a hot stove - it soon heats up and bubbles on nicely forever.
Personally, I would rather put the hot water on the hot stove - but that wasn't part of the story.
What makes a good marriage? Lots of things - but let's start with mutual respect, honest open communication and great faith.
Mutual respect is essential because if you don't respect your partner you will soon be disasisfied with everything he or she does, is, represents etc. The woman will become a nagging harpy and the man will become an abusive beast. Neither situation is acceptable - So marry someone you respect.
Open, honest communication is essential because no one can read minds. So both partners need to be able to speak freely without fear (as long as they're civil to each other, of course). That way, when misunderstandings occur, they can be openly discussed - and remedied in a positive way where everyone is pleased (see discussion on respect).
Great faith is absolutely essential - and while I put it last, faith is really the most important aspect. You must have faith to carry you through the good times - as well as the hard times. It's easy to be faithful when times are hard - but when times are good - it's easy to lose your perspective on your marriage.
I could go on - but let it suffice that whether your marriage is arranged or "by love" mutual respect, open honest communication and great faith are 3 of the many essentials to a GOOD and HAPPY marriage.
2007-12-17 01:09:39 · answer #3 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Very cultural question.
From 100% of western people you will get the romantic notion that a love marriage is sooo much better.
In other societies it is reconed that marriage is too important to be left to the personal opinion of two love crazed teenagers - for the good of everybody, the family steps in. With the best of intentions.
Mind you, arranged marriages stem from a time where women can't work or earn money and divorce does not exist.
Times have changed.
People chose for themselves who they want to be with.
Marriage as a means to secure certain bonds is outdated.
2007-12-17 02:29:26 · answer #4 · answered by mgerben 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
arranged marriages are nice when both are in love. sometimes, it can be arranged by family, friends or even strangers....and the couple date for a while and if they like each other, get married. otherwise, they part thier ways. also, often people who "arrange" these know the background of both parties, so maybe that will help the couple to have a "stable" married life. love marriage is based on love and love only. you get to know them after a while. sometimes love marriages is due to infatuation and it can go wrong. none of the ways of marriages are secure. you just have to see if you would be willing to spend the rest of the life with that person. can you adjust with his/her weaknesses? can you enjoy the life with him? is this what you want for now and forever?
2007-12-17 00:28:46 · answer #5 · answered by damnedweight 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Both, in love marriage in which i assume you mean the traditional western saga of falling in love and getting married means that you know who you are marrying before you get married and you accept each other and are ready to commit a decision you make together and follow through.
In arranged marriages in which the two people getting married may not necessarily know each other the advantages are that both will most likely come from similar family backgrounds, religons and have similar aspirations which psychological research has shown to be the most powerful indications in successful marriages.
Its useful to note that the success for both arranged and love marriages are equal and in recent times the divorce rate for love marriages has exceeded that of arranged marriages.
2007-12-17 00:27:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think a marriage based on shared value systems would be the ideal. This would sound as if an arranged marriage would be the best - but I can assure you my parents never had my same value systems.
Perhaps we should develop a test for such - I know people who say they are happily married after years of being together. I normally think they are lying though.
Look at the Clintons - there's a marriage that works but who would want it? And it's based on shared value systems of power at any cost. So that blows my theory out the window.
Who knows?
2007-12-17 00:23:05 · answer #7 · answered by pinky 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
if u are not inlove wz someone else then go for arrange marriage PERIOD!!!... don't give urself a headache...go and buy yourself a wife...a wife that won't marry you without u paying her...a wife that won't even look at you if u're poor...a wife whose only concern is to have financial security...a made to order bride whom u have to love and live wz for the rest of ur life...but anyway, u can always marry again right?...even upto four times...so why worry...as long as u have the money u can have as many as four wives...girlfriends and mistresses not included...kidding...hehe...
BUT i know ur inlove wz someone right now, and that's the reason why u're asking this question right...?so love marriage is good for u...no matter what everyone says or do...it's ur life,it's ur right to choose what's best for u...true love just comes once in a lifetime and not everyone finds it...if u think u have found the one so go for it...it's not ur parents happiness that counts here...it's yours...if u're betraying the a commandment of which is honor ur parents if u follow ur heart...then thou shall not lie is a commandment too right...coz if u marry someone whom u don't love u're lying to urself, to ur future wife, to the people who attended the wedding, to the people who knows that u are wed...and most of all don't u think u are not lying to God?...there u are pledging, reciting ur vows to have and to hold...in sickness and in health etc.
in here it's really upto u to decide...there's no sure way to happiness...we have to make choices and wz every choice, there accompanies a risk may it be small or big...follow ur heart...the brain maybe logical but logic and reasoning aren't the ones the make people happy...it's love...
2007-12-17 01:31:57 · answer #8 · answered by my 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dear Payal,Marriage is gamble,which one suites you it depends on your luck,some people are lucky with arranged and some are very lucky with love marriage.But as for we Indians arranged have better success then love marriage.
2007-12-17 08:10:32 · answer #9 · answered by lucky s 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
both are actually good but arranging marrige can get difficult planning and dresss' tuxes and not to mention expensive but is nice because your with ur family too. love marrige is cute but not fair cuz when u get married i could only imagine ur family would want to see u in this period of ur life
2007-12-17 00:25:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋