difficult decision here, needing help bad?

Question

ok, this is gonna be kind of long, so u all know.
so, recently, my girlfriend who i loved more than life broke up with me. i seemed to have gotten over her. but now, we are just like normal friends. but everytime i read something she sent me, like love notes and stuff, i cry from missing her so much.
since then, ive been hangiing out with this other girl who i was told had a crush on me. last night, i tried to ask her out, but she said that she would, and shes sorry, but shes got a bit too much going on now to have a boyfriend. i asked her, "maybe in the future?" and she was like yeah. ive really started to like her now too.
ok, well, now for the question. i know why my old gf broke up with me, and i know i can fix it. so i was wondering, should i ask for a second chance with my old gf, or wait and see what happens with this other girl? any advice at all is greatly appreciated.
thank you in advance

ok, this is gonna be kind of long, so u all know.
so, recently, my girlfriend who i loved more than life broke up with me. i seemed to have gotten over her. but now, we are just like normal friends. but everytime i read something she sent me, like love notes and stuff, i cry from missing her so much.
since then, ive been hangiing out with this other girl who i was told had a crush on me. last night, i tried to ask her out, but she said that she would, and shes sorry, but shes got a bit too much going on now to have a boyfriend. i asked her, "maybe in the future?" and she was like yeah. ive really started to like her now too.
ok, well, now for the question. i know why my old gf broke up with me, and i know i can fix it. what it is is that i am usually very shy to everyone, which i need to change anyway. so i was wondering, should i ask for a second chance with my old gf, or wait and see what happens with this other girl? any advice at all is greatly appreciated.
thnk you in advance

the thing i need to change is an old trait of mine, one that i have hated forever, and felt cursed with. it is that im always really shy around everyone. i know i need to change it anyways, and i think it would definately be worth it if i could get my old gf back, but i still like this other girl.
btw im 19

sorry about accidentally reposting the original question

now i realize something.....i read others questions, and i think the other girl may have said no because she thinks she would be the rebound girl. i never thought of that.......what should i tell her?

Answer 1

i agree with laci d.... you should wait beofre deciding, its obvious you still have feelings deep down for you ex even though you say you have started to realy like this other girl.... because you are asking the Q of what ppl think you should about either thne the best advice anyone could give you right now is to be single, learn to love ebing on ya own, get to grips with your feelings and start living life,... at leats this way if you still have feeling for either girl ion your own mind you will be clear on what you want as your heart will guide you. good luck in life.

Answer 2

This is a very painful time for you and I so understand your need for support and encouragement to find some solutions to your dilemma.

When you love someone, you do so with all your heart and with all your soul. When it ends, there is this gaping hole in your heart and you do not know how to fill it. It is as if someone has stabbed you and it needs healing.

You do not say why your original girl friend broke up with you but whatever it is, and you can fix it, why not do so? Jumping from one relationship into another is not the answer either really. The pain will still be there and the last thing any girl wants is to carry someone else's "baggage" into a new relationship. I am sure you realise this makes sense.

What I would suggest is you put away all those love tokens and stuff so you are not tempted to try and bring back those old memories for the time being. Put them into a box, seal it and hide them away. What is past, is past if you are being perfectly honest with yourself so it is time to move on......

So........ instead, get out and about into the big world and discover a new you.

Find outside interests that will bring you into contact with other men and women without thinking of finding someone else to take your old girl friend's place. Be interested and interesting so you have a wide selection of topics to talk about. Educate yourself. Re-build your self-confidence, self-esteem and self-worth. Take pride in the person you are and feel good about yourself. Most importantly of all, take your time.

The right girl is out there waiting for you but the timing has to be right. One day, you will turn around and she will be there. Why? Because you will have a wide circle of friends, feel and be confident, be interesting and interested, and you will feel good about yourself inside and out.

I am not saying this is the only solution but it is a start and I wish you all good things now and in the future.

Answer 3

If it's a valid reason and you do actually need to change it or else it will cause you problems with others in the future, I would change it then give the old gf time to see the change and know that it's real. You have a history with her and it might be worth trying to make it work, that is IF she wants to. Otherwise move on from them both, what the other one meant was- "Sorry but I'm just not that into you." Even a one legged man in an @ss kicking contest will find the time for a date if he really likes the girl.

Answer 4

First of all decide what you want to do.Whether to go with the previous gf or the new gf because you still are in two minds one if i wait for the old gf and see will that work and two let me try this new gf and see what the outcome is.Here you are not trying to love anyone you are trying to satisfy yourself because inner in your hearts you know that you know that you had broken with someone and you don't want that to happen again so you are making urself sure that what decision you are taking is a correct one and you won't have to go through that has gone through you.One more thing what i wanted to put it in your mind is when you had a break up with the first gf do you think she will be still wanting to have a relationship with you after your break up.So first try to know if you can continue with that relationship if not then please decide what you have to do what is best for you and then go ahead with your deciscion.Thanks and all the best to you.

Answer 5

The best suggestion I can give is to give yourself some time. Do some soul searching and find out what it is like to be single again. Find a new hobby, or expand one you are already participating in. Don't jump from relationship to relationship. It's ok to give yourself a break. You will find someone when the time is ready. For now take a chill pill and try to relax your brain. I know it is harder than I can say, but I do have experience in this area and I do know what I am talking about.

Answer 6

If your old girlfriend doesn't want you back, there's no point in "asking" her a second chance no matter how bad you want to.

Move on to this new girl of yours, maybe she's the one. Maybe not. The worse thing you could ever do is go back to an ex that sees you only as a friend. Whatever it is, keep it casual.

Cheers.

Answer 7

ok,,, first of all it would help to know your age,, so I can answer this easier... but a bit of advice,,, QUIT TRYING SO HARD!.... you are way to worried about the whole situation,,, ok this girl broke your heart,,, well her loss, besides maybe it it not meant to be right now,,, so don't worry so much about her,,, if it was meant to be she would come back,,, trust me there are a lot more girls out there...

now for the second girl,,, give her the respect of not jumping into a relationship,, you are on the re-bound and if she was to break up with you, it would tear you apart... so just ask her out on a date or something,, go slow, but have fun with her... she will come around

here is what you do.... go out and have fun, with EVERY GIRL possible,,, go out and just have fun, quit trying to have a girlfriend,, you will enjoy it in the long run,,, and eventually someone special will surprise you.... you dont need a girlfriend to be happy,,, so have several friends to party with and enjoy life

you are trying way to hard to be happy,,, do things for yourself,,, besides if you had a girlfriend you would have to devote your time and money on her,,, which is not a bad thing,,, just you wont have time for yourself....

make these girls want you,, be the life of the party, the guy that every girl wants to be with and hang out with....

go have fun!

Answer 8

To tell you the truth if you know what you can do to fix it but she
doesn't go with your personality

but im not saying go out with the other girl because i seams that you only asked her go because someone said that she had a crush on you

i don't think you should go back with your ex i know it hurts my old boyfriend did it to me and wanted me back you just have to let time take place

you should wait don't take your old girl friend back but keep your options open

you will find if you relax and be calm things will fall into place

Answer 9

what is the reason...must know to answer this one....because it might be that even if u could fix it she doesn't want u period....think about it...if it was a serious relationship u two could have worked it out but instead she left u...u could try to get back with her but be prepared for rejection and don't use the other girl as rebound...hang solo for a while is always a good thing to do after a break up...give u time to re-evaluate ur self and ur life.

Answer 10

I wouldn't wait on the ex because whatever it is that she broke up with you for was just an excuse. If she had wanted it to work she would have talked to you about it before breaking it off. She just wanted an easy way out. If whatever it was is truly an issue then fix it and move on to someone else.