and could you please also tell me why? thanks.
2007-12-16 20:34:40 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
For some reason there are alot of women who basically consider their son their 2nd hubby and their property. They have serious issues. But as long as the son is on the girls side she should be just fine. If however he does not stick up for her, either by taking mom's side all the time or by simply ignoring the issue and forcing the wife to deal with it alone, they are destined for problems. He needs to be kind to his mother but lay down boundries. And the new wife will have to smile and nod alot at first to see if she can gave acceptance from the mom, if not then don't worry. You can always insist on spending holidays with YOUR family.
Somehow men manage to separate themselves when they are certain the new man is a good choice, but for a mommy with a son she just can't see anyone as better than her for him. It's destructive but typical.
2007-12-16 22:22:14 · answer #1 · answered by Autumn Moon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, that's probably a common misconception. I'm a psychology major, and this is just a mindset that people don't change. My girlfriend and my mom get along great.
Another thing this could be is a stereotype threat. This involves thinking that you're going to be judged based on a stereotype: i.e. daughter-in-law. So, if you start off the relationship with the future mother-in-law well, you'll have no problems.
2007-12-17 02:06:54 · answer #2 · answered by weapons_and_magic 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have no idea why there is a general feeling like the son/husband has to take sides. It should never have to come to that.
I looked very forward to having a daughter-in-law. My husband and myself felt we did a very good job bringing up our son to be responsible and a good man and caring husband. I taught him over the years to cook and do laundry and help clean up the house. This day in age most women work, as do I, and I wanted him to know how to do things so he could help out around the house. Which he does do to this day.
I did everything in my power to make my daughter-in-law feel welcomed into the family because I remember the feeling myself. I love my son with all my heart but I have NEVER felt like he is my baby and I can't let him go. I tried to prepare him to leave the nest. He is my son and no one can ever take that away.
Now, my relationship with my daughter-in-law was very rocky for several years. She admitted to being jealous of me so I backed off even more. Well patience has paid off and she no longer sees me as a threat. I am thankful for that everyday! My son is so much happier. Sometimes it takes time for the women to realize what their new roles in life are.
2007-12-17 02:14:35 · answer #3 · answered by proud grandma 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
jealousy I think... the girl is taking away the mom's baby boy. A fear of being forgotten or not needed. You have to share time and be respectful of her feelings. She use to be the only women he could count on and now it will be you. Having a weekend dinner together can loosen the claws on your neck but you just have to prove your good enough for her perfect son.
2007-12-16 20:40:20 · answer #4 · answered by angelsunshyn1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The battle has begun. Someone "stole" her baby boy and now she must view her daughter-in-law as "Public Enemy Number One" especially after she told her baby boy to not marry that woman.
2007-12-16 20:48:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
it's called jealousy... which is very destructive.
just gather your dignity and act like a lady. don't let people step over your boundaries... and be your own person.
your are marrying her son, not her.
2007-12-16 20:56:01 · answer #6 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋