I split with my boyfriend yesterday, and what hurts the most is that my 2 yr old boy who got a little attached to him is asking me where he is. I dont want him back, he cheated on me too much, and lied more than a normal human could probably do in a lifetime! but i feel so so much pain, all i seem to be doing is listening to cher strong enough on a loop, any words to help me to keep it together would be so appreciated. if theres people out there that have been here before how did you cope? I need to be there for my son, and being so close to christmas its quite hard to feel festive. Thank you.
2007-12-16 19:16:43 · 19 answers · asked by smrobinson1987 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Why the hell are you upset about breaking up with someone who had no respect for you or your child? What you should have done, and hopefully learned not to do, is drag your child into relationships you have with men you don't know well enough to trust. Accept your mistake, get your act together, and move on.
2007-12-16 19:22:08 · answer #1 · answered by bill b 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You have made the right decision. Past behavior is the best indicator of future behavior. If your boyfriend has cheated multiple times, it's indicative that this behavior would continue. No matter how much he tries to convince you he has changed, it would be in your best interest not to take him back, ever, especially since you have a child. You do not your child to become attached to a person such as that, only to be hurt like you later, when he leaves. I'm sorry to say that there is no simple way to cope. The feelings of betrayal and resentment needs to run its course and will only get better as time passes. However, you can take your mind on it by focusing on your son. Don't sit home on Christmas alone, which would aggravate the depression. Invite some friends over, or go to someone elses. Perhaps take in a movie with your son on Christmas and find a restaurant that's open and take him out to dinner there.
2007-12-16 19:25:00 · answer #2 · answered by bnk89 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, first of all... STOP listening to Cher! We've all been there, and she's never helped anyone unless you're drunk at a party with a room full of gay men. (I highly recommend it... the impersonations can be flawless!)
Second of all, your son is at such a small age that he won't feel a long-term loss over your ex. He's still learning all kinds of other new things, he won't be able to focus on your ex not being there anymore, and he won't be affected.
I think the best time for this to happen to you would be at Christmas time! This is only your son's 2nd Christmas, and he can finally open the gifts himself and get excited! There's so much stuff happening at this time of year, there are plenty of things you can do to get your mind off of "him."
I know you're hurting, and it sucks. But you're being real, and you know that you would not benefit from keeping the ex around because he didn't respect you. This is the part where you go alpha female and realize that you have a lot more to give to someone than he had to give to you. Enjoy the holidays, and take lots of pictures of your son!
2007-12-16 19:24:45 · answer #3 · answered by Folky Veronica 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had my IUD out in April and we've been attempting when you consider that then, it won't be countless time in any respect - for the clarification that it incredibly is purely 3 possibilities we've had so far!! even though it does get to you, because it stands on the 2nd, i've got not had a era in 4 weeks and four days, and that i'm hoping and praying that this our month.. yet while it incredibly is not then i will do comparable to I even have been doing - spending an afternoon in tears and stressing out at all of us (no remember how not hassle-free i attempt to not!) and then i would be nice, optimistic there are cases while i decide directly to resign, and that i think of i will if i don't get pregnant before the 12month component... There are some ladies on right here that have been TTC for years and that i take my hat off to you - i could not cope with the soreness of the month-to-month AF "circulate to"... i'm hoping you fall pregnant quickly, it incredibly is this sort of exhilaration - and a few thing which i won't wait to relive.. like to all, babydust too!! xx
2016-10-11 11:07:09 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's never a good time to split with anyone but Christmas is particularly bumming!
Once a cheat, always a cheat etc etc, none of the old cliches will help! It's so hard finding out you've been cheated on because it makes you question every aspect of the relationship, especially if the cheat was a terrible liar! It's not your fault, there is nothing you could've done to prevent it, if they're gonna cheat they'll do it anyway regardless of what you've ever done or said!
Keep your chin up, throw yourself into the festive gank for your son and make yourself a new years resolution to avoid losers in the future!!! Seriously tho, good luck once you're thru xmas your halfway there! x
2007-12-16 22:07:36 · answer #5 · answered by x-Happy Go Lucky-x 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Feeling very much the same way, for my its being strong for my children as they hurt when they see us upset. Try focusing on all the positives like the excitment on your little boys face when he sees all the presents and when he rides or plays with his toys for the first time, this Christmas.
Try and imagine yourself we someone else, a swimsuit model george clooney or what ever tickles your fancy and then picture yourself happy and in love and them being the father you need for your son. Things like that make me feel better about my situation it's hard and nothing anyone can say will make it easier, it just takes time.
I wish you all the best and keep your chin up.
2007-12-16 19:32:13 · answer #6 · answered by arnie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you - I really do. It's going to be a tough festive season for you BUT you are better off without him. You really are!
You said that you're listening to Cher on a loop BUT I suggest that you avoid the kinda songs that are going to get you down and put on some music that lifts your spirits and makes you feel happy again.
When my relationship broke down, it was painful, but I changed the persepctive around in my mind and punched the air with joy.. thinking to myself... There is better in store for me, I deserve to be happy and secure.
Now I am married to a wonderful man.
Think about the positive and what you want to happen and you will draw it to you. If you have not heard of the law of attraction then check this out!
This is not about attracting people (relationships wise - although that can done) It's about drawing into your life what it is that you want... if you want to be happy, settled, secure, etc... then visualise yourself as you want to be.
Check out this link!
2007-12-16 19:37:44 · answer #7 · answered by Pagan Pip 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are better then him! and better off without him! better to find out now then christmas day huh? your son will get used to him not being around, you simply tell him that 'X' has gone away for a while, he'll soon stop asking.
you can cope, you get up everyday and put everything into your son, take him to the park, tho of course wrap up warm ;-) if you havent already, put some decorations up, get your boy to help you, forget about this loser, and tonight, when you boy is in bed, get a girlie friend round, open a huge tub of choccie ice-cream stick on a film and have a laugh :D wash that man outta your hair
2007-12-16 19:24:13 · answer #8 · answered by deni 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sweetie do not let a man ruin ur happiness or ur lil ones xmas
ur lil one is ur # 1 priority
don't let a man bring u down and don't see it as a bad thing but as a good one because he wasn't worth ur time to begin with and ur saving urself a whole lot of headaches by staying away from someone who did not value u high enough to respect u. his loss...u should be happy that u don't have that awful cheatn' guy around u and ur baby.....so smile and be happy with ur self and ur lil one....when the time is right u will have ur guy...the right guy :) keep ur head up and stay strong...remember that what u let affect u will also affect ur lil guy. peace & luv be with u always. I know how u feel...
2007-12-16 19:28:01 · answer #9 · answered by girlygirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I need to be there for my son.............
Funny how we can answer our own questions sometimes.
Sounds like you got away from a liar and a cheater. Why the pain, you gave your son a great christmas gift...got rid of a bad influence.
he cheated on me too much...........?????
If your not married it's not considered cheating, and what is cheating on you too much ? Is a certain amount o.k. ???
2007-12-16 19:35:58 · answer #10 · answered by Resplonaspid 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋