2007-12-16 18:07:00 · 7 answers · asked by zeeke a 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
TAKE IT VERY EASY WITH HER. DO NOT GO ANY FASTER THEN SHE WANTS TO GO. ASK HER IF SHE WANTS TO TALK ABOUT IT AS A CLOSURE TECHNIQUE.
MOST OF ALL BE UNDERSTANDING.
HERE IS A GIRL WHO HAS BEEN ABUSED AND TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF AND IS NOT WANTING TO OPEN UP REALLY FAST. BE CONCERNING AND TAKE EVERYTHING SHE SAYS AS LITERAL.
I WENT WITH A GIRL WHO WAS RAPED IN H/S 66. SHE WAS VERY LEARY OF MEN AND THERE INTENTIONS. SHE WAS FEARFUL OF BEING ABUSED AGAIN. SHE NEEDED CONFIDENCE AND A RELATIONSHIP THAT WAS GOING TO BE MEANINGFUL. FROM 66 TO 69 I ONLY KISSED HER GOOD NIGHT. THEN ONE NIGHT SHE ASKED ME TO STAY THE NIGHT WITH HER AND WE SLEPT TOGETHER HELD EACH OTHER AND MOVED ON FROM THERE.
LET HER BE COMFORTABLE WITH HER MOVES. STAY BACK AND WAIT. IT IS WORTH IT ALL TO HELP SOMEONE ELSE THROUGH A PROBLEM.
2007-12-16 18:19:25 · answer #1 · answered by ahsoasho2u2 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends. If she was sad and remorseful when she told you about it the best thing to do is not to bring it up again. She told you because she wanted to be honest and not hide anything; she didn't tell you because she wanted a philosophical discussion on it.
If you "just" found out, does that mean you've been going out for three weeks or three years? If it's closer three weeks, she's probably hoping to get some attention. Perhaps she's be making it up in order to promote the idea of rough sex in your head. Either way, you can't really tell unless you know her really well.
2007-12-16 18:19:18 · answer #2 · answered by Katie M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well..does it bother you that she got raped? did she ever report this? are you supporting her or do you feel that you cant accept the fact that she was raped? i mean, i think the best thing you can do is let it go..and legally report it. tell her its more safe to tell the cops because this could happen to another girl. dont judge her because she was raped..or treat her differently just b/c of that fact. just be a bf..and be there for her. im sure it was traumatic....dont make her feel like youre giving her pity.
2007-12-16 18:13:57 · answer #3 · answered by anelehh<3!!! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to her, but DO NOT be judgemental in any way. open your heart to her and listen to what she has to say. be very sensitive when she does talk about it. remember that reliving the assault is going to be very difficult for her at best, and she may not want to talk about it the first time you broach the subject, dont force her to talk about, but DO let her know that you are always willing to listen if she wants to talk about it.
when she does talk about it, again LISTEN to her. if she will let you hold her close to you, and again, DO NOT BE JUDGEMENTAL. make sure she knows she can count on your support, and let her know that you wont tell anyone anything she tells you, even if you two break up.
2007-12-16 18:19:58 · answer #4 · answered by richard b 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi first and foremost patience n understanding are paramount as she will have issues to deal withj.
At least you are aware that the last thing is to talk about it unless she wants to discuss it ciao â¥
2007-12-16 18:17:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be yourself and dont pressure her into doing anything she is not ready for. Always be gentle, especially when you hug her. Let her take over when she is ready.
2007-12-16 18:13:11 · answer #6 · answered by lourdes 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
dont force her to do anything, or always make sure she's comfortable with everything. also, be really caring and nice, and considerate too.
2007-12-16 18:19:43 · answer #7 · answered by *I Want To Hold Your Hand* 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋