what can I get my grieving mother for x-mas...she lost my dad, 40 years, she's very religious, and suicidle

Answer 1

I am so sorry. Perhaps, if possible, the best gift would be one of time...a coupon for a day together or something like that. If you want something more tangible, I'd try to find something that will help your mom take care of herself (like a spa certificate). If you're crafty, maybe a scrapbook or collage of family photos would bring her some happiness. But right now, she likely needs you more than any gift money can buy.

Is she suicidal? If so, please get her some professional help.
The holiday season can be really hard if you've lost someone. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Feel free to email me.

God Bless!

Answer 2

Okay, do you mean she's 40 yo or she lost him 40 yrs ago? Nothing you can do can replace him. But, maybe think, what would he have gotten her, if he were still alive? Or maybe you could get a good picture of him or the two of them, have it enlarged and framed for her. She'd have a god cry over it, but appreciate it in the long run. Or some meaningful article that belonged to him... have it preserved in some way, like put in a shadowbox, or take his favorite clothes and make a patchwork quilt out of them (hmm, unless you have a lot more time than i do, that idea will probably be something you should start now, for next yrs present!)

Answer 3

Give your mother TIME with you ... tell her that you love her and need her, and that you want her to get through her grief knowing that you are there for her all the time. Then call any mental health provider and ask for the name of a good 'grief counselor' and some 'support groups' for people in grief ... and YOU go too ... you also lost your dad. I'm sorry you are going through this during Christmas but you do NOT have to 'act jolly' right now ... just LOVE YOUR MOM and be there for her and everything will be better ... maybe not next year, but in two years.

Answer 4

If she's suicidal, you need to get her some help NOW! Christmas can make people in sad situations a lot sadder for various reasons and as the holiday gets closer, they can feel even worse. Someone who's already suicidal is very likely to make a successful attempt on their own lives if they aren't able to get help for themselves and no one else helps them get to that help. Some things to consider: Does your mother have a plan on how to hurt herself (meaning has she thought about how she would do it; overdosing, shooting herself, etc)? Does she have the means to carry out that plan (pills, a gun, etc)? If so, then you need to call 911 or take her to an ER right away so that she can get professional help to keep her from going through with it. If you have any other questions, you can call the suicide prevention hotline or her primary physician. 1-800-SUICIDE / 1-800-784-2433; 1-800-273-TALK / 1-800-273-8255.

Don't be afraid she'll get mad or that you're making a big deal about things, if someone says they're suicidal, they're asking for help and that means there's hope for them to get better, as long as they do get that help. Since she's religious, maybe her pastor would be able to talk to her, also, and don't feel like you're bothering them, it's their job.

Answer 5

If your mom is suicidal, or threatening to kill herself, you need to call an ambulance or the police... a person who is suicidal needs help, hon.

Encourage your mom to try a grief support group or talk to her minister or a mental health professional.

If you are aware of her good friends, such as those she goes to church with, maybe you can talk with them about her issues right now too... and you might talk with the minister yourself. Your mom doesn't have to know you talked with the minister or her friends, and maybe if you DO talk with them, they might step in to help her out in some ways.... People in churches are usually very caring and concerned about other members.

I dont know what your mom likes, so i can't say what would be a good christmas gift... think about the things she has always liked... and what she likes to do.. maybe you will get some good ideas that way? An idea i have is giving her a gift of your time -- give her a "gift card" good for one afternoon or day together to go to a movie, out to eat and maybe even to pick something out she'd like to have? whatever you'd offer is up to you....

sending hugs and best wishes.

Answer 6

You gift could be: Mom I'm going to light a candle every day for dad and I'm going to light a candle for you ever day for your quick recovery.

You could add (entirely up to you) It's not your time to leave until God gives the OK. Besides dad wouldn't want you to leave before it's your time.

You could try to find a book about grieving. She might understand more about grieving and why she's feeling the way she it. You might try to get her to a support group with other people who are grieving.

Hope this helps a little bit ......................

Answer 7

give her something homemade. like a photoalbumn and remind her of all the good times she had of her husband. and ask her for help on something..anything..pretend you dont know what something mean... moms always feel better no matter what when there kid asks for help. they feel needed. also..buy her her faveorite music albumn she liked when she was younger. or loves now. also take her to church and out to eat on xmas..if she stays home and makes dinner she will feel sad again because your dad aint there this year, show her a good time. stop her from thinking any bad thoughts.

and im very sorry you have to go through this. but remember your not alone.

Answer 8

Create a dvd set to music with a montage of pictures and other memorable events that reflect the good times of them together. It should help her through the grieving process....

Answer 9

You can spend your money on some therapy for her. Someone to talk to about her problems. What good is a bottle of perfume is she only applies it once then offs herself?
And this is not to insult her, but there is a difference between a person of faith and a religious person. In the Bible it tells us to cry at birth and rejoice at death. She should know your father is in Heaven and be happy he has found his eternal reward. Perhaps a minister from a different church or a christian counselor from a different church could help her to see that life here is a gift and that instead of wallowing in pity, she could be out there helping others and being happy. She obviously isn't getting what she needs from the church she is attending now. Urge her to see a christian counselor and pay for it as a Christmas gift. If you think she will fight going, pay for it ahead of time and tell her you already paid for it and it would be a shame to waste the money. They work on sliding scales sometimes and sometimes will even help for free if there is no money.

I have lost the love of my life, also. I started going down that path too but was blessed to have someone share God's word with me and I realized that the whole poor me, I miss them I might as well be dead thing is selfish and not from God. I put a smile on my face (forced at first) and got back out there in the world and began using my time to help others. And I thanked God for my loved one no longer being in pain. I thank God for the smallest of things. His blessings are all around and the more you thank him and give unselfishly of yourself, the smaller your problems seem until you realize how truly blessed you are. Your mom is lacking that. Many people are. Please give her the gift of faith for Christmas. There are many churches out there with trained therapist who will help her out of this Hell on earth she is stuck in. Satan is the one guiding her reigns. He is the one that keeps people in that sick cycle. As he knows it takes them away from Godly works.

Her church has failed her so much. A church ministry is supposed to look out for children and widows. The fact that she is in so much distress and they are not working to show her the light and guide her to finding peace, just shows that they are not living the word. Maybe you could even find a church that practices what the Bible teaches and take her for Christmas services to start out. Just go to the church office and ask them to set an appt with you and the minister and sit down and ask what their beliefs are. Then tell them what is going on. You will know in your heart if this is the church that you two need to be at. If not, keep trying there is a church that can minister to you two.

Answer 10

A good book on going through grief. I'm sure you can find a good one at a christian bookstore. You can mix that with something you know she would like. Like a nice picture frame and other small trinkets.