my boyfriend and i haven't seen each other much this past semester. he was just here for the weekend and we hadn't seen each other for two weeks prior to it. he's 22 and i feel this constitutes him as being an adult, though he still lives at home (when not at college). what bothers me is HOW MUCH his parents call him when they know he is with me. they know we dont see each other much, but yet this weekend i think one member of his immediate family called every hour, for completely random reasons. it was really annoying because i just wanted to have SOME time with him uninterrupted.
so am i overreacting by getting so upset? i just feel that his family needs to start viewing him as an adult and just learn to let go (especially when he has younger siblings) and let him spend quality time with me. please help, i'm going insane!
2007-12-16 16:00:24 · 10 answers · asked by niugirl1114 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
No you don't have the right to be annoyed over how HE manages his life, & the people that are a part of it.
The thing about relationships is that either the two of you can integrate each other into your lives, or you can't. If his life meshes with yours in a way that suites the two of you without either of you having to go to extraordinary measures then it should turn out to be a good match.
If an ordinary part of his life tends to annoy you, then it NOT a good match & neither of you should expect the relationship to continue.
To try to do otherwise will drive the both of you insane!
2007-12-16 16:18:58 · answer #1 · answered by No More 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's perfectly ok for you to think his family needs to start viewing your boyfriend as an adult and learn to let go... but it seems they feel differently.
Like i always say, there comes a time in our lives when we need to accept people at face value, and just move forward with our lives. If you don't like they way they behave, then work on being a different type of individual. That's the best you can do.
take care, and do yourself a favor.. stop letting others control your emotions. it's not worth the stress.
2007-12-16 16:49:53 · answer #2 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, he is being rude by talking on the phone when he has company. Most people forget that. Been there done that. Tell him you want time without the interruptions and if he won't comply do what I did. I walked right out of the restaurant and went home and left him on the phone. When he called later I told him when he had time I might see him. I would just leave and he didn't do it twice. I don't need to be treated like that and neither do you! Family gets time and you get time.
2007-12-16 17:17:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ha. Ha. You have the same problem as I do. Yes you have every right to be mad and annoyed!! My boyfriend and I are both 22 years old and have been dating for 4 years. We both are attending college as well...when he is not here, he goes back home to the parents.
I rarely get to see him because of our time schedules. When we do...he's mom or dad calls every hour or so. I get very upset over this...and most of our fights are because of his family. I finally sat him down and talked to him about the situation...over time I just kept saying the same thing. Your boyfriend is either going to get annoyed or accepted what you are saying. (if he gets annoyed, stop for awhile then try again)
He finally told his parents...one day a week...we will talk. Well they didn't like that...so when he tried to prove a point, he turned his phone off so they would stop calling. They started calling me. Which got very annoying.
IT TOKE A WHOLE YEAR for them to understand.
This is a very difficult topic because its his parents! Just sit him down and tell him...this is your time...you can speak to your parents when you and I are done spending time together. If he cares, he will understand.
Good Luck with the parents!
2007-12-16 16:10:27 · answer #4 · answered by Nikki 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need to cut that one loose.
For one, it doesn't sound like he has cut the apron strings, much less the umbilical cord.
For another, it sounds like he may have moved on.
Truth is, as long as he is living with his parents, he is stuck abiding by their rules.
At 22, he may legally be an adult, but mentally/emotionally may be a little kid. One truism I will lay on you: "All men are 12 years old"... to which I will add "If you are lucky". I know women who can't wait for their oversized 3 year-old to turn 5.
2007-12-16 16:38:37 · answer #5 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are over reacting, you should talk to him and ask him is it possible he could make more time for you, after all you are his girlfriend. If nothing else you should make plans ahead of time, like go see a movie or something and then if he his family calls and he leaves he will feel really guilty
2007-12-16 16:05:37 · answer #6 · answered by dvsgurl2005 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand that you want to have some time with him without his family being right there. You should talk with him about wanting and needing some time just you and him. However, don't push and push about it, since he seems to be very close to his family....he might see it as an ultimatum and tell you good bye. Just be honest with your boyfriend. good luck.
2007-12-16 16:07:56 · answer #7 · answered by Susie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that you should be annoyed but not neccessarily mad. you can't do nething about his family calling him but what you can do is ask him to not answer the phone when his family calls him every hour...i feel that you should talk to him about this and find a solution.
2007-12-16 16:10:54 · answer #8 · answered by RARE GEM 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Family is important, don't get me wrong...
But, I know exactly how you feel. I think it is perfectly reasonable for you to want to have some time that is just for you and him.
Have you talked to him about how you feel?
2007-12-16 16:06:56 · answer #9 · answered by sunshine 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no that would annoy the crap out of me too. sounds like his parents are too controlling, overprotective, or dont trust y'all at all.
2007-12-16 16:04:36 · answer #10 · answered by Hilary G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋