2 months old?

Question

The father of my baby wants him to come over for a few days alone so he can watch him on his own. My mom said i better not do that or i might as well pack my stuff and leave her house. I usually go over there every weekend but didnt feel like it, he is his son but i dont want my mom mad at me. i admit he isnt all the knowledgeable, he can change the diaper and feed him and such but he cant calm him down. His mom is there and she is really good with my baby, and im so confused on what to do. Jamie wanted to get the baby tonight at 10pm but it was to late and he had a co its my son i can see him when i want. and we dont have papers or nething on when he can see him, and he is the blood father and i dont know what to do i cant stop him can i from seeing him he hasnt done nething to him or nething. i just know my mother will get mad if she comes home and he isnt here. Mama said if he comes and get him for me to pack my stuff... im so confused but he isnt getting him he got mad cuz i said n

he told me to move back in with him but i have done that time to time and always ended back at my moms, hes had a bad past with cheating tons of time even while i was prego, he has done good since i have had my baby im just so confused i dont want him to not see his soon but he has to learn sometimes he is the father so should i let him?

o and im 19 and live in SC

Answer 1

Are you the mother here? Or is your mother supporting you and your child? My reason for saying this is that if your financially independent, then you make the decisions regarding your child. You have to realize that the father has every right just as you to see his child. You should be there along with the baby at every visit because that is your responsibility. If you start making excuses to please your mother then you are allowing her to keep the baby away from his father. If he is a dead beet and not supporting either of you, then she has a good reason for saying no. But if he is willing to allow you to move with him and to care for both of you then it may be the better option. You have to think of your child's best interest and if you can't make a responsible and logical decision to protect him and care for him, then it can't be good for the baby. My advice, either stay with mama and let her run your life until your old enough to do it yourself. Or marry the father of this child, rightfully and respectably and grow up a bit earlier. But you must remember that you have to always fight for your child, no matter what, no matter what age you are or how much money you have. A child doesn't care about money, they love most to be surrounded by their parents and to be secure and loved. Mom may have money but it won't subsitute the importance of a father being in his life. Bottom line. You've got to settle these issues immediately. Either pack your stuff and stay along with your son or keep your son with you because your likely to have more problems if he is separated from you at this age. Also you need to talk to his father about your mothers issues before this gets out of hand and you have to leave with no plans. Your mother could take him away from you if you are proved unfit and not financially capable. So do whatever it takes but stick with your son ALWAYS. And his father should too.

I know he has made mistakes in the past. This is so common especially with young immature guys. They like to mess around. But you have to realize that whether or not they mess around, you have mothered his child and you will always be connected to him. He's not perfect he is young and so are you. If you've seen a change in him since the baby and he wants to see the baby so badly, then he may be worth forgiving especially for your honor and your child's honor. Let him be a daddy he really wants to and you should try to resolve your problems with him and forgive and start over. You may as well live together you've already started your nest. Complete it. Grow up. Dont let mom run your life. It will make you bitter when you get older. Forgive and stick with the father of this child.

Answer 2

It all depends on your age and the state you reside in. In MI the father is normally granted every other weekend from friday at 6- sunday at 6pm, every other holiday and min. two weeks out of the Summer. HOWEVER, each case is different. There's also child support and such.

Personally, I would be honest with my baby's father, explain what my mother had said. Possibly suck it up and go be with my baby at the father's house (if that was possible). I would also talk to my mom about how I'm adult and she needs to let me make my own mistakes while she's around to help me get back up on my feet then to wait until she's not around for me to fall flat. Remember that you have to do what's best for you AND the baby. Your child is the most important thing there is in the world...do what's best for him, only YOU can judge what's best for him. You might want to look into getting your own place since your mother seems to want to have power over you.

Good luck!

Answer 3

He is still the father of your baby no matter what happens. And since he hasn't done anything wrong to hurt you or the baby, i think you should also give him the chance to be with his baby.

When my husband and i got separated, i didn't do anything to cut the relationship between my daughter and her father. I wanted my daughter to have a "father" (even if he didn't stay with us) and still continue the relationship of a father and a daughter. Sometimes, they would go out together, other times my daughter would stay over at his place. This arrangement has made my daughter a more adjusted person compared to those who haven't had the chance to be with both divorced parents.

I am a grandmother now and i know how your mom feels. probably she's become attached to the baby too that she doesn't want the baby to be out of her sight. Don't worry, grandmothers are like that, i guess.

As a mom, don't worry, moms don't have the heart not to forgive. And you are the mother of the baby now. It is now your responsibility and decision to choose what is best for your baby. In other words, go for it and be a mom. and give the baby's father a chance too, ok. It looks like he loves his baby as much as you do.

Answer 4

Honey I know your mom means well but you are the mother now. This is a decision you have to make. That doesn't mean that you have to move in and get back with him. But talk to him and his mother and explain the problem and maybe you could work something out as far as staying there until you can get ur own place. If he is willing to be a father don't take that right from him. Your mother is most likely wanting to protect you and your son but if he was to have a court order and she tried keeping you from giving your son to him you could get in trouble and possibly lose him to his father. I wish you luck.. You might also want to check into public housing until you can get on your feet.

Answer 5

First off he has the right to see his child. Your mother need to realize that it is not her child. If the father's mother is there to help him care for the child there shouldn't be a problem Grandma needs to be Grandma and let you be mom. She needs to get used to it because when he gets tired of being told he can't see his son he will take you to court then you will have to let him go regardless of what your mother says. In most states it doesn't matter wither the support is paid or not the father has the right to normal visitation. That's because he has the right to bond with his child also.

Answer 6

Your mother is really overstepping her boundaries. And she has intimidated you...her actions and threats are those of a child... She'd drive me insane.

You really hve to put your foot down with your mom... dont' explain anything to her, just tell her that you appreciate her advice, but you and the baby's father have to take care of him in your own way... and you don't expect her to like it... but she has to let it alone.

Your child is not your mom's responsibility and she has no right or "say" in his life. You and the baby's father are responsible for him, and his father has a right to spend time with him if he likes.... In fact, i don't know many fathers who would spend time with a 4 month old for long on his own... and from what you said, he has plenty of help where he lives.

Your mother is intruding, and you are letting her.

I don't see her as a very diplomatic person, just another ignorant, conrolling, meddler.

It's very sad that she threatens to make you move if you let your child see his own father... what is next? I can't believe this.

I just hope you get some good answers here, and a BACKBONE... your mother needs to mind her own, damned business.