Mean Step-dads!?

Question

I have a step-dad that my mom married a couple of years ago. He was really nice until my sister Prudence was born. He is really mean to me and never lets me do anything fun. When he is home he never let's me watch TV or go on the computer on anything. He treats me like an animal. I try to be nice to him but it never works. He has been really nice for the past week and now he is really mean. What should I do to make him be nice? Oh by the way he never yells at my sister just me. Why?

I tell my mom but she doesn't listen

I don't get in trouble usually so he shouldn't get mad for anything like that.

Answer 1

I know how you feel. My step-dad is the same way. Talk to your mom. If it doesn't work talk to another adult.

Answer 2

My thoughts: 1. your mom cares, but does not have a clue how to solve the problem, so she does af if she does not see/know/care 2. Your stepdad is frustrated because he wants to show the world (his friends/family/colleagues/...) that he is an even better dad than you biological dad. he wants to prove that by showing how great a kid you are 3. Your stepdad has not yet figured out that hitting does not create the results he wants. 4. You never deserve being hit, simply because it creates fear and hatred, and not love. 5. Your stepdad would prefer to have a loving warm relationship with you, but does not know how to get there. Tip: 1. Go to your stepdad when everything is calm, tell him that you would like to talk with him, and when it would suit him. 2. At the moment of the talk, sit together (NOT OPPOSITE EACH OTHER!!!), have a cup of tea or a soft drink (make sure that you choose a moment at which your stepdad has not yet drunk alcohol). 3. Tell your stepdad that you are so sorry that things are going this way, and that you would prefer to have a warm loving relationship with him and your Mom. Ask him if he would not prefer that too. 4. Suggest that you two will try to sort things out between you in a different way as to what you have been doing up till now. Since that does not seem to work very well, it does not give the results you both want. 5. Tell him that you heard the saying: "Whatever you pay attention to, you will get more of", and that you suggest to create nice moments together where you can both focus on, instead of focusing on the things you both do not like. 6. Tell him that you do not want to be naughty, obnoxious, terrible, badly behaved etc. Repeat that you want a warm loving atmosphere in the house and a warm loving relationship with him and your mom. you'll make it, I'm sure.

Answer 3

That's a hard one. I grew up in the same situation.
Really you should try to make the best of your situation and not let him treat you that way. ie. tell him you're not a dog and you need stimulation. Mostly stay out of the house or in your room as much as possible.
You ask why and that's not an easy answer. He may resent you because you're not his real daughter, or because he feels threatened by you for millions of reasons. He may be upset with your mom and taking it out on you. He may just be a self-serving unsympathetic jerk, who wants the world to revolve around him.
Two things: You cannot just allow yourself to be treated like this at any age, it is affecting who you will be as an adult and how you relate to others, so stand up for yourself as calmly and respectfully as you can WITHOUT pointing fingers. Do not tell him what he's doing wrong, instead announce that you will not be treated that way.
The other is that you really need to talk to your mom. I don't know if it will do any good, it helped a little in my situation (my mom made more time to spend with me and set up a living room just for me because he didn't want to even see me!)
If that doesn't work, talk to another member of your family. If your mom doesn't do anything to help after you talk to her then she is just as guilty. I know it hurts. Try to stay away and when you are home contribute to the household as much as possible. Don't kiss anyone's butt though, you do not deserve to have to do that! In the meantime make a list of all of the things you love about you and be honest. I can tell you are intelligent and sensitive, forgiving and kind just by your question, so there's a start!
Peace, Love, and Liberty!

Answer 4

Painfully true short answer.....He doesn't love you like he loves his own flesh and blood daughter, and even if he'll never admit it, there is resentment for caring for another mans child. It is purely biological. In the wild an animal would never care for offspring that waa not their own. It would be considered a waste of their time, energy snd supplies.Now that being said, I didn't say he does not love you as much, I'm simply giving a biological reason andf saying the love is different! EWithout meeting him and seeing the dynamics between you, noone could ever tell why he's acting the way he does. Why don't you have a heart-to-heart and bring your feelings up ti him? He might not realize he's acting so differnt.

Answer 5

Because the baby is usually the princess and they do nothing wrong.

Some step dads are great others are just horrible. Just try talking to him about it and tell him the way he treats you makes you feel like you're some sort of animal. And try telling your mom too.

Answer 6

I'm sorry your going through this! I had the exact same thing happen to me from 7th grade to 10th grade, and fortunately the best thing my mom did, was divorce him. I would suggest talking to your mom about it, and let her know how you feel. If she really cares about you, then she will confront him, and demand that he treats you with respect. As for you, I hope that you would be respectful in return. This is a common situation that many children find themselves in when it comes to a step-parent, and their inability to get close to the child from a previous marriage (or vice-versa). Good luck, and I hope things get better for you ;-)

Answer 7

It's not your fault - your ***** of a mother should not have married until you were grown up! Can you talk to your mom about it? Can you talk to your Dad to talk to your mom about it? This is too much for you to be going through - you need to talk to either your Mom or Dad about it. Maybe he doesn't realize what he is doing is hurting your feelings, but get help, an adult needs to handle this for you! Good luck.

Answer 8

Hit him with a big tuna

haha jk
i would explode if i was being controlled in that way by one of my parents :S

hmmm
but i have self-control n.n so what you can do is talk seriously to him when you have the opportunity (when you know he is not stressed, or now that all this xmas stuff about being good is around) or you can tell that to your mom.

that's what i would do, look towards what i do and what he does, and talk about it.

Answer 9

I have a really mean step mom and I just try to ignore as much as possible, but I don't live with her. You should try telling your mom more until she finally understands, and if possible, try to have your mom near when he yells at you.

Answer 10

I think you should talk to your mom about it. It is her responsibility to make it right. If you're doing stuff that could get you in trouble, you should expect him to be "mean". If he's just weird like that... you need to let your mom handle it. Just make sure she knows how you feel.