At the moment I am living with my family until my husband returns from sea. There are 6 people living in the house. My two brothers my parents and my brother in law. With all that being said there is always drama and a lot going on. I get mad because my parents expect me to deal with things that I feel is none of my business and I should not have to take care of. For instance like taking care of enrolling my brother in law in school. My parents suggested he move in with us due to the fact that his adopted parents were kicking him out. They thought they got all the proper paperwork but do not have a court signed document stating that someone has custody. Now they expect me to call all these people to figure out how to get him in school. I have nothing against my brother in law but I do not feel it is my business to do so one and two I have no idea what I need to do.
That is just some of the things. To me it may be selfish but I do not see where it is my business.
2007-12-16 13:50:50 · 15 answers · asked by Showers 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I will be in my own home in less then two months. I do not mind helping my family out with things but I do not see where I need to take care of matters like that. Also this is the selfish part, there are some things where they ask me which would cause me to have to alter my plans of moving out with my husband. I do not want to have to alter my life to cater to theirs. I do not see it as being fair. My husband comes home from ship and he has 10 days before he has to go back to work. In those ten days I we are going to find a place and move in. I want to go ahead and have everything packed and a few places picked out so we do not have to worry about it in the ten days he is home. My family is wanting me to wait and pack my things once he returns. I know it may seem silly but we only have one car and a lot we have to do to get moved in I really do not want to have to do everythign once he starts goign to work because it will be more difficult. Am I wrong to not want to put my life on hold
2007-12-16 13:54:55 · update #1
My brother in law is only 17. But not as mature as he needs to be to take care of all this on his own.
2007-12-16 13:55:41 · update #2
OK my Brother in law is not in Law school. He is my BROTHER IN LAW, My husbands brother. He is in highschool not law school.
2007-12-16 13:59:52 · update #3
Come on you are not at all selfish.... but Im sorry to say your family is kinda annoying.... in my eyes all thats going on is not your business then again helping out him in a friendly way is a good thing, you are living with them.... but still its not your business..... Well may be its selfish of me saying but its not a good idea to stay there with your hubby when he is back....move out..... Remember first place is for you & ur hubby family comes SECOND!!!
you go girl!!!!
2007-12-16 14:05:02 · answer #1 · answered by Beautiful Disgrace 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
lol. wow.
Okay, he's your brother in law..right? Don't see it as an obligation to your parents, look at it as an obligation to your husband. It's not that big of a deal to get him in school, just call his adoptive parents..and ask if you can get a document stating that you or your parents now have custody..then you can enroll him at your local high school and not have to worry about that.
About packing, just start doing it, don't worry about what your parents say about it, it's your life and so you need to start living it. Find a place that you may want to live with your husband and let him know, as well as your parents that you want somewhere to live.
You seem like your being a little bit selfish, if your living at home, then you need to respect your parents wishes as well as help around the house.
2007-12-16 14:51:42 · answer #2 · answered by Becky 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would say that getting your husband's brother in school is more your responsibility than theirs. But as far as the other goes, it is your life. Considering you are doing most of your plans to make it easier on hubby when he is home for such a short time, then do everything the way you want. It is not their decision and they do not have to live with the consequences (if any) and the stress of having hubby leave again, packing and moving within the 10 days he is home. Stay with making things easier on him and ignore your parents.
2007-12-16 14:18:29 · answer #3 · answered by eharrah1 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well it can go either way to tell you the truth depending on your situation. i think that it is everyone's job in the household to do their part to make things run smooth. If you are staying in their house then they should be able to look at you for help if they are busy with other things. Even if it means doing something you don't want to do. so If you find that you have the extra time and your parents are swamped with keeping a family of 6 in order than step up and do your part. maybe next time you can offer to do something for them before being asked to, it will be greatly appreciated.Now if it is possible that they can do it themselves, seeing that they ARE the ones assuming the responsibility of taking on your brother-in-law then they should not push such a sensitive job onto someone else. If in fact, they are just pushing the responsibility onto you for no reason other than them not wanting to do it, explain how you would feel more comfortable in them handling such an important issue. I hope you solve your problem. good luck!
2007-12-16 14:08:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Stop feeling guilty ... Help your brother in law get into school if it is the right thing to do. Move out on your own whenever you feel like it. Don't let your family make you put your life on hold, but try not to burn any bridges that don't need burning unless your family is only a burden without any visible reasons for keeping ties. You may be being selfish but perhaps you have the right to be so. We all do; sometimes.
2007-12-16 14:08:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
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2016-10-01 23:30:52 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
k, so if you are living under your parents roof for free I think you should try to help them out as a form of paying rent. That's what I do when I'm at home, just to show them I appreciate them.
They should have no control over whether you pack now or later, though. Go ahead and pack if you want to. You're an adult!
2007-12-16 14:13:15 · answer #7 · answered by Mel 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your question calls for many levels of answer. It is not a matter of who is right or wrong, I think, but understanding what's going on and the nature of our relationships.
All of us are intermingled, we are not separate beings even if we think so, our true nature is social, we are all One, so in that sense every thing is "our business". Particularly so when we are part of a family. It's like an arm saying: "why should I help equilibrate the leg, I am not going to grab anything, it's none of my business if the head is telling me to equilibrate that darn leg, why should I care?" You are living with them in a family situation, are you not?
Yet, we shouldn't feel bad about our egoism either, because that is also our nature: we are egoists by nature, the only way to trascend that is throught spiritual inner work and through "love". Of course you don't want to help out enrolling your brother in law, what's in it for you? what pleasure does your ego will get out of that? ...Just do it for LOVE, if you can, just help out because they are helping you out by having you there, because you belong to that family...
On the other side, they are also egoists, as you and me. So it doesn't seem fair that they would ask you to stay beyond the set date that you have. It only seems understandable that you want to be with you husband as soon as he comes back. So just say it and that's all.
Good luck
2007-12-16 14:09:34 · answer #8 · answered by Kumari 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
If your brother in law is smart enough to get into law school then he should be smart enough to figure out his own problems. YOU could however, be nice and help. You are living in their house rent free (I assume) and it would hurt to help out. I would call the schools administration and tell them the scenario and ask what your brother in law could do. Good luck
2007-12-16 13:57:24 · answer #9 · answered by littleme836 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No it's not your responsibility but you should always help family out as much as possible, as long as they are not using you. You never know when you may need someone in your corner, karma is a *****.
2007-12-16 13:57:15 · answer #10 · answered by envi23 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋