My ex girlfriend says she wants to be friends but doesn't act like one. What should I do?

Question

My girlfriend and I broke up two months ago after a pretty good 7 year relationship. We really had no problems until we moved into a bigger city (Pittsburgh). While she was off with her friends at the clubs, she had an affair with a younger guy. Our breakup was really nasty and long. We both did and said some pretty mean things to each other. After all of this, we apologized to each other and both felt guilty. She has told me many times she wants to be friends, but it seems like I'm the one really trying as she rarely calls me or contacts me. This has been really hard to deal with because I've not only been there for her the past 7 years, but also I've been the best friend she has ever had and it feels like she just threw me in the garbage. It's been 3 days and I havent heard from her. I know to some thats not a long time but for us thats a record. How do I cope with this? Does she need time? I dont know what to do. She was my life and I sacrificed a lot for her. Advice?

Answer 1

Advice? Wow, your asking alot, maybe why I'm the only one who answered, that aside, lets see what we can do....

Love is a force buddy, not a director, not a guide, not a direction. Its just a force that binds us, with that said, there is NO TELLING WHAT THE F IS GOING THRU HER HEAD!!!! Problem is that relationships don't just end, there with us for the rest of our lives, ever time we remember them, this means that no matter what, your still bonded. Which for you means PATIENCES. But that aside, she is one twisted puppy, impulsive, neglectful, and most likly wasn't the best at discribing her feelings. Which means, pretty much, that your relationship was doomed from the get go. No offense, but she hasn't reached the maturity level to know HOW to love you, how to use you, how to depend on you, had she, there would of been no cheating. Had there been she would of been much more honest with you about her true motivations which wasn't just you. Clubing it, isn't something a happy, contemp individual does, its what people who are restless looking for NEW hopes do, no offense, you should of known this. That aside TOO, her need to socialize shows a person in constant need to flow, which means the past is the LEAST of her conserns UNLESS you try to bring it up, I bet that was a BIG mistake. All this pretty much equals that your goal with her is to get her to open up to these facts at sometime or the relationship will slowly deteriate overtime due to her neglect. Finally to a point (remember I said relationships never end) that she can easily deny that she felt ANY intensity. Which really is going to screw her up. So in other words, you had one heck of a fight on yoru hands to get this girl to the level she needed to be for you to depend on her, she never made it, so you can't depend on her, sorry, such is the nature of the heart....... but the fight never ends is my point, learn how to fight it, or learn how to deny her. ITs that simple really, but I can go on and on, and on with this stuff.

It comes down to one simple fact, no one answered your question because they feel you should simply move on, they can't tell you how, but little do they know that cliche' bs doesn't fly in reality. The fact is you need to bring this relaitonship to deeper waters, and I don't mean screwing, or its over(might as well be). But trust, she'll call you, you've scar'd her, she just has no f'in clue how to use it.......

Answer 2

Ok This what i believe : Meaning your dating turns out very critical now what i belive that possibly the buddy is the only sending you those matters above all on fb.She perhaps telling her approximately matters like u dont do like : Telling Her You Cheat On Her You Invite Other Girls You Flirt WIth Other Gurls Other :) But Too me the Ex's Could be in the only too she perhaps with them or so however pay attention to me i dont believe she rather wishes to damage the connection purpose if she instructed u depart depart her the **** on my own possibly she is irritated & dissatisfied Try & and so a few quizes to grasp however i believe the first-class buddy perhaps in it :)