For those of you who are lds?

Question

Why is it so bad that my boyfrind does not wish to go on a misssion...
I mean he says he dont want to get a dear john letter...
His mom is mad at me, i did not tell him he could not go..
He told me he did not want to go...
SO whats the big deal?

NOT everyone needs to go on one right...

Its driving me away from the church..
how misunderstanding people are...

Answer 1

it's hard on the mom because of her expectations, but it is his decision. my husband didn't go on one- his family was upset, but not now. i don't think all families would react that way, either. she just has had a long time to think about him going on one. he needs to make his decision based on more than a dear john letter, though. if you two were to ever break up and that was the reason he didn't go, that would be a big mistake. but if it's that he needs to work things out on a personal level and does not feel ready to share the gospel, then he shouldn't go. i'm sure he will be a wonderful man, no matter what he decides. and his mom will love him either way and with help of the spirit and your prayers, she will come to understand and not blame you for what is clearly his decision. and if she doesn't, the sin lies with her and you'll just need to take a deep breath and brush it off and know you are fine with God and your boyfriend and that's all that matters

edit- i just read your other questions too- it is very possible that he doesn't feel worthy to serve, but is too scared to say anything. this doesn't have to be made known to his mom, but you really should talk to the bishop- it will be such a weight lifted. he doesn't discapline or tell you how bad it is, he handles it with love and care and you really will feel better

Answer 2

Look into a religion that uses the bible as it main source not a 'made up' book that a person who beilve in ailen life forms and was arrested for rape wrote. I am not saying these things to be mean about the Mormons but there are alot of other things that just dont sound right with the religion. One, why is it that they are so divided? One faction allows a man to marry many women while another faction does not Jehovah God put an end to that in the New testament so if you beilve in Christ then you should only marry one person. Two:Why is it that only men go on these"preaching missions" for 2 years? Did Jesus say that all of us men and women have the duty of making disciples are seeking out like minded people. This was a life long commitment, not a 2 year contract. Keep searching and dont feel pressured into anything

Answer 3

Serving a mission is a commandment for all WORTHY young men, however there are many valid reason why a young man would not serve one. No one, I repeat no one, has the right to judge your boyfriend for not serving a mission - the scriptures teach judge not lest you be judged,

Please do not let something like this drive you away from the church. If you feel that people are being judgemental you can always make that the theme of your next talk.

Also please try to understand his mother, they bring their children up to keep the commandments and serve missions so it can be a great disappointment for them when their children decide not too - also they can be judge (for not being good enough parents etc). Maybe you could so her love , buy her a nice christmas present and show her that just because she is mad at you, you love and respect her - it help to calm that down.

Answer 4

HE needs to make it clear to everyone that he has decided not to go.Its not fair to you for others to think it has anything to do w/ you. If all he's afraid of is losing you. He should go! If the 2 of you are meant to be you'll be here when he gets back.You are right, not everyone HAS to go. It supposed to be a choice, not to mention a sacrifice. Don't let this push you away from God. Just because they have all lost sight of Him(clearly) . Doesn't mean you have to as well. That isn't what God would want! Just keep on keeping on. Pray to Heavenly Father and he will work it out.

Answer 5

Much of the pressure he (and you) are feeling is cultural. It was probably his mothers expectation that he would serve a mission, and a decision not to may be interpreted by his family as a lack of committment and testimony to the gospel. The prophets have declared that every worthy young man should serve a mission. It is a valuable growing experience for maturity and a meaningful preparation for life. It helps build a stronger and lasting testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Answer 6

The prophet has commanded all young men who are able to serve a mission.

The bottom line is that he's directly going against the Prophet's council.

People (you included) should try to help him learn that the church is true (if he doesn't know...bet he doesn't), and then encourage him to follow the prophet's council.

There are blessings for following the prophet, and consequences for not doing so.

Answer 7

Is his mom really mad at you? Maybe he told her he isn't going because of you. It's possible that it's more of a lack of communication than anything else.


EDIT: based on some of your previous questions, he's not able to go on a mission because of things you two have done together. You both should go see the bishop and tell his parents the truth.