It is sad how our society had gone all the way down to defiling ourselves before marriage. The reason a woman wears white for a wedding is because it shows she is a virgin. How can that be true when many couples have already had sex before marriage?
Are you abstaining?
2007-12-16 13:07:25 · 49 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
That is one thing I wish I had done different in my life was abstain. I wish my husband was my first. I will teach my children to save them self for their husband/wife respectably. If it ever comes to them asking me why I will let them know what I did and how I regretted the decision I made. Reminding them that they can be like everyone who is sexually active,but those people can never be like them once they make that choice, which is a virgin. I also feel that is the best gift anyone can give their spouse on their wedding night their pure untouched body....That goes for the guys as well.
2007-12-16 13:17:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 3⤋
Loving this question! I read so many questions about this and can't believe what people are saying! I have been with my fiance for 5 1/2 years(4 1/2 years dating and 1 year engaged) and we are saving sex for marriage. I am very proudly wearing white on my wedding day. I also hear people talk of how the white dress does not signify virginity, but whatever; white is for purity. If people need sex to decide if you truly love someone, then they aren't even mature enough to be married and know what love is. I could preach on and on about the divorce rate, but if people wouldn't marry the people they slept with, it might be a different world.
So yes, I will be abstaining. :)
2007-12-16 16:28:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
1. People have been having sex before marriage since the beginning of time. In some time periods is was more frowned upon or less spoken about, but it still happened-- as much as or even more so than today.
2. White is not worn at weddings as a sign of virginity. It was not even the most popular color for wedding dresses until Victorian times.
3. What makes sex before marriage "defiling"? If you use protection, have respect for each other, and are dedicated in your relationship, then sex is not going hurt your relationship, whether you have a piece of paper to prove your love or not.
2007-12-16 13:17:15 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 4⤊ 2⤋
I think it's something that should totally be up to the individual. I do not abstain, and in the context of my very loving, committed relationship, it's right for us.
That being said, it is a shame that we as a society have devalued intimacy to the point it is today...where people (especially teenagers) feel extremely pressured not to wait. Both choices (to wait or not to wait) have value, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with waiting for the right person or time for yourself, even if others would judge you.
There are definitely experiences that I wish I hadn't had, but everything I've done in life has led me to exactly where I am today, and that's a pretty happy place for me.
And on the topic of white...brides should be able to wear WHATEVER color makes them look and feel their absolute best, including white. After all, it is a day all about the couple getting married, not everyone else.
2007-12-16 13:50:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
Actually the reason a woman wears white is that its tradition.
Previous to the 1900's, a woman wore her 'best" Sunday dress to her wedding, and chose to follow the Bible's rule.
White came to the area when Queen Elizabeth the 1st decided she needed to make herself a virgin again within the orthodox church. It was deemed as a rather "mental" thought that she was like that.
Regardless, it became a fashion tradition that white equaled purity and Christianity and black, that of the evil or the devil.
SO that is why people think of white & purity.
Separately there is the issue of women & purity and the fact that men aren't deemed as horrible if they don't abstain.
So why must women specifically wear white to show that THEY are the virgins? Why not men?
It does come to a patricial way of viewing women in western society that actually has nothing to do with the separate issue of why people have sex before marriage.
Most people in the year 2007 understand that it was simply a misunderstanding of how the white in the wedding came to be. Which is why, you may be seeing more & more women who aren't "pure" or virginous wearing white or wearing it as the case may be.
2007-12-16 13:20:34 · answer #5 · answered by belligerent assistant 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I think it's a very personal choice, and it depends on a lot of different factors.
Personally, I won't be abstaining because I feel that my boyfriend and I are close enough to have sex, and that I won't feel bad about it afterwards because I know that I love him. Still, I can see why other people choose to wait.
As for the whole "white wedding dress" thing, I think that is more of a tradition than an actual hard and fast representation that a woman is a virgin.
I don't think that it's "sad" for a woman to have sex before marriage, it's her own personal decision, and nobody should judge them because of it.
2007-12-16 13:13:35 · answer #6 · answered by Overcast Kid 6 · 4⤊ 2⤋
The reason women wear white to there weddings is because in the 1800's white fabric was considered only for royality. So, the more white fabric you used, the more rich you were. It actually has little to do with purity.
Also, I don't think women are doing themselves any disservice by having sex before marriage. As long as you love, honor and respect the person you are with (and they do the same), then what's so wrong about sex before marriage.
Especially, if you are mature adults and are having safe sex.
You only disgrace yourself by the way you handle sex before marriage. If you are running around with different guys, then that's bad. But, if you love someone and have sex with them, I don't see how that's bad.
I am also not abstaining. I'm also still a good person and I'm going to wear white.
My boyfriend and I both had partners before getting together. I don't regert it and I don't hold him against him.
What's important know is that we love each other and we are monogamous.
Please get off your high horse. I am sure LOTS of people you view moral, have had sex before marriage; they just didn't tell you.
2007-12-16 13:30:47 · answer #7 · answered by J'adore 4 · 3⤊ 3⤋
I don't feel like I have 'defiled' myself. Just saying something like that really shows you have a very negative view of sex and may have some issues to overcome before you can fully enjoy it.
Also get you facts straight. White on a wedding dress is a symbol of wealth, not virginity. If you want a dress that symbolises purity then wear blue.
2007-12-16 18:02:00 · answer #8 · answered by Stiffler 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I believe in waiting for the right person. I didn't have sex until I had been in a long, loving relationship (still am). You have to consider that many people who believe in waiting until marriage base their decision on their religion, and not everyone considers having sex before marriage defiling themselves. Another reason for my own decision is that I don't have immediate plans to marry (because I would stay with my boyfriend even he never wanted to get married), and my boyfriend doesn't want to marry yet (bad marriage examples from parents), and I don't feel like being a thrity-year-old virgin.
2007-12-16 13:28:04 · answer #9 · answered by Meagan P 1 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Defiling ourselves??? You have such a negative view of sex. I feel sad for you.
As for a woman showing her virginity, that's not even the reason for a white dress, but it's not as if women should be judged on whether or not they've had sex. That's really self hateful and disrespectful to women if you think that a value of a woman depends on whether or not she's had sex before.
Society hasn't gone down. You're just living in the dark ages with a really sad disrespectful view of yourself and others.
2007-12-16 13:33:20 · answer #10 · answered by some female 5 · 3⤊ 3⤋